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Life Plan
“So am I immortal or not!?” shouted Twilight.
“That’s not something you need to know,” said Celestia calmly.
“No! I demand to know! I didn’t plan on this! I’m not sure if I even want this! Just tell me exactly what I’ve turned into!”
Celestia’s eyes drifted down to the cold tea on the table. “Please don’t make me do this.”
“I—I need to know,” sputtered Twilight. “If it’s immortality, I can learn to accept that. If it’s death, I can accept that too. But I can’t accept not knowing.”
“Twilight,” said Celestia. “If you were to find out now, you would be locked into that decision.”
“What do you mean ‘locked’—don’t you know if I’m immortal or not?”
“No, Twilight. There’s a spell to find out, but the cost is too great.”
“What’s the spell?”
“Twilight—“
“I’m not asking you to cast it. I just want to know what the spell does.”
Celestia hesitated. “Like all time magic, the effects of this spell cannot be changed once it has been observed.”
Twilight’s ears perked up.
Celestia disappeared and reappeared back with a book, narrowing her eyes at Twilight. “You must never tell of the existence of this spell to anypony, do you understand that?”
She nodded.
“It’s a funeral spell.”
“A what!?”
“It projects you into the future so that you can attend your own funeral.”
Twilight tilted her head to the side.
“That seems rather… specific.”
“Indeed,” said Celestia. “As far as I’ve observed, it can only check somewhere around nineteen thousand years into the future.”
“How did you find that out?”
Celestia paused before answering, “when Luna cast it.”
Twilight stared. “What did she see?”
“Do you have any idea how personal of a question you are asking, Twilight?”
Twilight’s ears flattened.
“Twilight, please imagine your own funeral. Imagine everypony you hold dear gathering together to talk about you. What would your friends say? What would Spike say? Would they mourn that you had left too soon, or would they celebrate that you had led a full life? Would ponies be sad about your loss, or be happy you were finally gone? Stop and think about each and every achievement they would list that you accomplished. Consider the music, the flowers, the casket. Consider yourself… after you are gone.”
Twilight sat down on her haunches as her eyes glazed over in thought. She laid motionless for several moments. It was a brief respite compared to the shouting earlier.
“Attending your own funeral locks you inside of the life that led to that end, Twilight. What you see will come to pass, for better or for worse.”
Twilight stared out into space before returning back and asking: “Who else has cast this spell?”
“Besides a few hospice unicorns to help their dying patients, only Luna, Star Swirl, and I.”
Twilight’s eyes darted to hers.
“I didn’t see anything when I cast it, Twilight. It’s why I think the spell has some sort of limit of twenty thousand years or so.”
“Or…” said Twilight, her words stumbling out. “You will live longer than any other being that could possibly hold a funeral for you.”
“I regret casting it, Twilight,” Celestia frowned. “That’s not something I needed to know, or worry about.”
Celestia picked up the tea cup in front of her in her magic. “If Star Swirl had not have cast this spell…” said Celestia quietly, setting the tea down without drinking it. “I think he would have ascended and still been with us here today.”
“Is there any other way I can know if I’m immortal?”
“Twilight, isn’t now enough? Isn’t it enough to know that you are alive now and not have to worry about the future?”
Twilight sighed. “No… it isn’t. I want to know how much time I have left. If it’s eternity, I want to mentally prepare myself for it. If it’s tomorrow, then so be it. But… not knowing? I can’t plan for that.”
“Must you plan for everything, Twilight? Even your own life?”
“That’s the most important thing to plan.”
Celestia sighed. “But once you see it, you’re locked in.”
“I know time works a little recursively. I’ll plan based off what I’ve seen, and what I’ll do will affect what I’ve seen. I know it will work out somehow.”
Celestia frowned as she passed the spellbook to her.
Twilight’s horn began to glow.
“That’s not something you need to know,” said Celestia calmly.
“No! I demand to know! I didn’t plan on this! I’m not sure if I even want this! Just tell me exactly what I’ve turned into!”
Celestia’s eyes drifted down to the cold tea on the table. “Please don’t make me do this.”
“I—I need to know,” sputtered Twilight. “If it’s immortality, I can learn to accept that. If it’s death, I can accept that too. But I can’t accept not knowing.”
“Twilight,” said Celestia. “If you were to find out now, you would be locked into that decision.”
“What do you mean ‘locked’—don’t you know if I’m immortal or not?”
“No, Twilight. There’s a spell to find out, but the cost is too great.”
“What’s the spell?”
“Twilight—“
“I’m not asking you to cast it. I just want to know what the spell does.”
Celestia hesitated. “Like all time magic, the effects of this spell cannot be changed once it has been observed.”
Twilight’s ears perked up.
Celestia disappeared and reappeared back with a book, narrowing her eyes at Twilight. “You must never tell of the existence of this spell to anypony, do you understand that?”
She nodded.
“It’s a funeral spell.”
“A what!?”
“It projects you into the future so that you can attend your own funeral.”
Twilight tilted her head to the side.
“That seems rather… specific.”
“Indeed,” said Celestia. “As far as I’ve observed, it can only check somewhere around nineteen thousand years into the future.”
“How did you find that out?”
Celestia paused before answering, “when Luna cast it.”
Twilight stared. “What did she see?”
“Do you have any idea how personal of a question you are asking, Twilight?”
Twilight’s ears flattened.
“Twilight, please imagine your own funeral. Imagine everypony you hold dear gathering together to talk about you. What would your friends say? What would Spike say? Would they mourn that you had left too soon, or would they celebrate that you had led a full life? Would ponies be sad about your loss, or be happy you were finally gone? Stop and think about each and every achievement they would list that you accomplished. Consider the music, the flowers, the casket. Consider yourself… after you are gone.”
Twilight sat down on her haunches as her eyes glazed over in thought. She laid motionless for several moments. It was a brief respite compared to the shouting earlier.
“Attending your own funeral locks you inside of the life that led to that end, Twilight. What you see will come to pass, for better or for worse.”
Twilight stared out into space before returning back and asking: “Who else has cast this spell?”
“Besides a few hospice unicorns to help their dying patients, only Luna, Star Swirl, and I.”
Twilight’s eyes darted to hers.
“I didn’t see anything when I cast it, Twilight. It’s why I think the spell has some sort of limit of twenty thousand years or so.”
“Or…” said Twilight, her words stumbling out. “You will live longer than any other being that could possibly hold a funeral for you.”
“I regret casting it, Twilight,” Celestia frowned. “That’s not something I needed to know, or worry about.”
Celestia picked up the tea cup in front of her in her magic. “If Star Swirl had not have cast this spell…” said Celestia quietly, setting the tea down without drinking it. “I think he would have ascended and still been with us here today.”
“Is there any other way I can know if I’m immortal?”
“Twilight, isn’t now enough? Isn’t it enough to know that you are alive now and not have to worry about the future?”
Twilight sighed. “No… it isn’t. I want to know how much time I have left. If it’s eternity, I want to mentally prepare myself for it. If it’s tomorrow, then so be it. But… not knowing? I can’t plan for that.”
“Must you plan for everything, Twilight? Even your own life?”
“That’s the most important thing to plan.”
Celestia sighed. “But once you see it, you’re locked in.”
“I know time works a little recursively. I’ll plan based off what I’ve seen, and what I’ll do will affect what I’ve seen. I know it will work out somehow.”
Celestia frowned as she passed the spellbook to her.
Twilight’s horn began to glow.
I think you have GaPJaxie's minor flaw of overemotional descriptions. There isn't enough run-up for Twilight to be acting so emotionally, and you don't make a piece more emotional by having characters argue and posture when they don't need to. Why are they shouting? There's no indication Twilight has been pressing Celestia on this issue for a long time, and I think you need that.
As for the story, I think Twilight's out of character because she wouldn't do something like this without spending time to think about it. I think Celestia's out of character because, if she regrets the spell, there's no reason to even tell Twilight about it. All Twilight wanted to know was if she was "immortal" and all Celestia needed to say was "you won't die of natural causes but you can still die in other ways". The story kind of veered from one question to a very different question. I think the fix for this is to have Twilight explain that she needs to know her entire future, and provide a logical motivation for her to do it. At present I don't buy Twilight's motivation, Twilight's decision, or Celestia hoofing her the book. Celestia is feeding the ego of a (comparatively) small foal who is going to do something they'll immediately regret, and it makes no sense she'd go along with it.
Also, it's a logical flaw to conclude that the spell has a max at 19,000 years because that number isn't an upper bound, it's a lower bound. There's no reason for Celestia to come to that conclusion: all she knows is that the spell didn't work on her, so unless she knows by other means that she'll have an actual funeral in 20,000 years, it's a fallacy of appeal to ignorance (which Twilight wouldn't fall for either).
As for the story, I think Twilight's out of character because she wouldn't do something like this without spending time to think about it. I think Celestia's out of character because, if she regrets the spell, there's no reason to even tell Twilight about it. All Twilight wanted to know was if she was "immortal" and all Celestia needed to say was "you won't die of natural causes but you can still die in other ways". The story kind of veered from one question to a very different question. I think the fix for this is to have Twilight explain that she needs to know her entire future, and provide a logical motivation for her to do it. At present I don't buy Twilight's motivation, Twilight's decision, or Celestia hoofing her the book. Celestia is feeding the ego of a (comparatively) small foal who is going to do something they'll immediately regret, and it makes no sense she'd go along with it.
Also, it's a logical flaw to conclude that the spell has a max at 19,000 years because that number isn't an upper bound, it's a lower bound. There's no reason for Celestia to come to that conclusion: all she knows is that the spell didn't work on her, so unless she knows by other means that she'll have an actual funeral in 20,000 years, it's a fallacy of appeal to ignorance (which Twilight wouldn't fall for either).
There's a neat concept of the power of observation at work here. The writing is very high quality as well. My biggest gripe is that without seeing what happens next, we don't really have a story; just the setup for one. I'd like to see this expanded, because right now the lack of completeness drags this lower on my slate than it would otherwise deserve.
Hmmhmm.... interesting idea?
I feel like the conflict in this story should be between Celestia and Twilight, but that doesn't seem very developed? This might be a 'big ideas' story, but it doesn't develop on the consequences of knowing your own circumstances of death (or having the chance but not) very strongly, either? I normally dislike vague endings, too... I'm left not really feeling much of anything here, although I think this story lays out some neat ideas, I don't feel it grasps any of them particularly strongly.
Still, I feel like you've got good ideas here. I'd just like to see them developed more deeply.
I feel like the conflict in this story should be between Celestia and Twilight, but that doesn't seem very developed? This might be a 'big ideas' story, but it doesn't develop on the consequences of knowing your own circumstances of death (or having the chance but not) very strongly, either? I normally dislike vague endings, too... I'm left not really feeling much of anything here, although I think this story lays out some neat ideas, I don't feel it grasps any of them particularly strongly.
Still, I feel like you've got good ideas here. I'd just like to see them developed more deeply.
I have to think Celestia is in the wrong here. Not necessarily about the chronomancy; peeking ahead leading to a quantum collapse and destiny lock-in does sound feasible, especially given what we’ve seen with time magic in the show. Starlight might be able to break the spell’s effects, but doing so could have even worse ramifications.
No, I think Celestia is wrong in denying Twilight this knowledge. She deserves to know, and she can presumably cancel the spell the moment she gets a result, both to spare herself the emotional anguish and to minimize predetermination.
This story annoyed me, but it did so within the narrative rather than because of bad writing. You made me feel and think, and that’s never a bad thing.
No, I think Celestia is wrong in denying Twilight this knowledge. She deserves to know, and she can presumably cancel the spell the moment she gets a result, both to spare herself the emotional anguish and to minimize predetermination.
This story annoyed me, but it did so within the narrative rather than because of bad writing. You made me feel and think, and that’s never a bad thing.
Twilight wants to know if she’s immortal.
There’s only one spell Celestia knows for that – a spell which shows a pony their own funeral, allows them to watch the session go on.
Only three ponies have cast it. For one of them, it likely doomed them to die. For a second, it is questionable. And for the third, it demonstrated their immortality.
But there’s a terrible cost – if you attend your own funeral, you know what will happen, and time then becomes immutable – you’re unable to change what it was that was said and done in the future, meaning that events must inexorably and inevitably lead up to that point.
Celestia warns Twilight that both the possibility of the spell not working – indicating you may live forever, or, alternatively, that when you die, there won’t be anyone around to give you a funeral – and the possibility of being locked into a bad future are terrible things.
But Twilight needs to know. She wants to plan.
I liked this a lot. I’m a sucker for time travel, fate, predestination – and fighting against those things, and I side with Celestia here. But I liked this on the whole – it was an interesting idea, an interesting story, and it worked well. It was very tight, and well done.
I think the biggest flaw here was that it didn’t feel like Twilight was emotional enough to really just do something like this on the spot; I wasn’t emotionally convinced by the story that Twilight wouldn’t at least sit down and think about it, even if she came to the same decision.
There’s only one spell Celestia knows for that – a spell which shows a pony their own funeral, allows them to watch the session go on.
Only three ponies have cast it. For one of them, it likely doomed them to die. For a second, it is questionable. And for the third, it demonstrated their immortality.
But there’s a terrible cost – if you attend your own funeral, you know what will happen, and time then becomes immutable – you’re unable to change what it was that was said and done in the future, meaning that events must inexorably and inevitably lead up to that point.
Celestia warns Twilight that both the possibility of the spell not working – indicating you may live forever, or, alternatively, that when you die, there won’t be anyone around to give you a funeral – and the possibility of being locked into a bad future are terrible things.
But Twilight needs to know. She wants to plan.
I liked this a lot. I’m a sucker for time travel, fate, predestination – and fighting against those things, and I side with Celestia here. But I liked this on the whole – it was an interesting idea, an interesting story, and it worked well. It was very tight, and well done.
I think the biggest flaw here was that it didn’t feel like Twilight was emotional enough to really just do something like this on the spot; I wasn’t emotionally convinced by the story that Twilight wouldn’t at least sit down and think about it, even if she came to the same decision.
Love, love, love the concept here, but I wasn’t entirely sold on the execution. Which isn’t to say that the actual writing itself wasn’t good, ’cause it totally was! I enjoyed the dialogue, and I think you used just the right amount of description to set the scene without taking the focus away from Twilight and Celestia’s conversation.
More than anything else, I think this might simply have been a victim of the short word limit. There are some really huge ideas at play here, and I admire the ambition. But it just didn’t feel developed enough for me – like, I didn’t buy that Celestia would need so little convincing to hand over the book, or that, after everything she’d been told, Twilight would just make her decision right on the spot. Which isn’t to say that she hasn’t made rash decisions in the actual show, but even by those standards, it felt hurried.
Still! I make it sound like I enjoyed this a lot less than I actually did. I’ve placed it pretty high on my slate.
More than anything else, I think this might simply have been a victim of the short word limit. There are some really huge ideas at play here, and I admire the ambition. But it just didn’t feel developed enough for me – like, I didn’t buy that Celestia would need so little convincing to hand over the book, or that, after everything she’d been told, Twilight would just make her decision right on the spot. Which isn’t to say that she hasn’t made rash decisions in the actual show, but even by those standards, it felt hurried.
Still! I make it sound like I enjoyed this a lot less than I actually did. I’ve placed it pretty high on my slate.
I'm sorry, but I just can't get into this one. It more or less boils down to Time Travel, and it's very hard to write a time travel story that makes sense, at least IMHO. It's a tough bar to pass, and I'm afraid this fic doesn't make it.
First off, the fic begins with Twilight angrily shouting questions at Celestia. While that's not out of the question for her, without seeing some explanation or buildup for how things have reached this point, it seems very OOC. Then Celestia hints at the existence of a spell to tell if you're immortal or not, but then tries to convince Twilight "All Knowledge Must Be Mine" Sparkle not to learn it. You'd think she'd know her prized student / fellow alicorn a bit better than that.
And then there's all the details of the spell. Once you've cast it, and know the future, the future is cast in stone? Starswirl the Bearded cast it, saw his funeral, and thus was prevented from or unable to become an Alicorn and immortal? How does that make a lick of sense?
So apparently, everyone had absolute free will, and the future was a wide open field of possibilities... right up until the first time someone cast this spell. Then, WHAM, the future was locked in and everyone is trapped in their destinies, which will lead up to the funeral of whoever cast it? Good job breaking free will Celestia/Luna/Starswirl.
And Celestia cast the spell, and didn't see a funeral for herself... Which makes her think she's immortal, or that the spell has a time limit of 19k years or so. Where the hell did she pull the 19k years number from? Also, she doesn't mention Luna's results.. So, does that mean that Luna is gonna drop dead sometime in the next 19k years?
All in all, logical inconsistencies large enough to drive a bus through. Which is more or less part for the course with time travel stories I'm afraid. The base concept of Twilight wondering if she's immortal or not is interesting, and the writing is pretty good. But the whole time travel / fate thing just doesn't work for me in general. Sorry!
First off, the fic begins with Twilight angrily shouting questions at Celestia. While that's not out of the question for her, without seeing some explanation or buildup for how things have reached this point, it seems very OOC. Then Celestia hints at the existence of a spell to tell if you're immortal or not, but then tries to convince Twilight "All Knowledge Must Be Mine" Sparkle not to learn it. You'd think she'd know her prized student / fellow alicorn a bit better than that.
And then there's all the details of the spell. Once you've cast it, and know the future, the future is cast in stone? Starswirl the Bearded cast it, saw his funeral, and thus was prevented from or unable to become an Alicorn and immortal? How does that make a lick of sense?
So apparently, everyone had absolute free will, and the future was a wide open field of possibilities... right up until the first time someone cast this spell. Then, WHAM, the future was locked in and everyone is trapped in their destinies, which will lead up to the funeral of whoever cast it? Good job breaking free will Celestia/Luna/Starswirl.
And Celestia cast the spell, and didn't see a funeral for herself... Which makes her think she's immortal, or that the spell has a time limit of 19k years or so. Where the hell did she pull the 19k years number from? Also, she doesn't mention Luna's results.. So, does that mean that Luna is gonna drop dead sometime in the next 19k years?
All in all, logical inconsistencies large enough to drive a bus through. Which is more or less part for the course with time travel stories I'm afraid. The base concept of Twilight wondering if she's immortal or not is interesting, and the writing is pretty good. But the whole time travel / fate thing just doesn't work for me in general. Sorry!
I really liked this story. I don't really agree with CyanRecluse about the inconsistencies; I think the idea of looking into the future locking you onto a path makes logical sense, with certain assumptions about how free will and time travel works in the setting. Similarly, Celestia's assumptions about how long it lasts make sense if Luna saw herself dying in 19,000 years, particularly if she saw herself dying of old age; Celestia might then assume that since she saw nothing, Luna was right up against the limit of the spell but Celestia will outlive her.
Celestia allowing Twilight to make her own choice seems consistent with her character. About the only inconsistency I agree with is Twilight not deciding to wait and think about it, but even that makes sense; she's never been portrayed as perfect.
Celestia allowing Twilight to make her own choice seems consistent with her character. About the only inconsistency I agree with is Twilight not deciding to wait and think about it, but even that makes sense; she's never been portrayed as perfect.
Celestia: "We are ageless; not immortal."
And the entire discussion can be laid to rest. (Pun only partially-intended.)
All that aside, I enjoyed this. The ideas presented here are interesting and merit expansion. The exchange avoided feeling like talking-heads, which is always important. There are indicators that the discussion had been going on long enough to build to where we are, such as the tea having gone cold.
In all, nice work.
And the entire discussion can be laid to rest. (Pun only partially-intended.)
All that aside, I enjoyed this. The ideas presented here are interesting and merit expansion. The exchange avoided feeling like talking-heads, which is always important. There are indicators that the discussion had been going on long enough to build to where we are, such as the tea having gone cold.
In all, nice work.