Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Show rules for this event
Errata
And the Princess of Friendship grasped Tirek and removed him from Equestria.[1]
[1] The way this is phrased, you'd think this is when I murdered Tirek. That would be incorrect. This is when I teleported both of us to the moon and accelerated the celestial bodies to build up the momentum required to murder him.
And then she descended from the sky in a bolt of fire.[2]
[2] Understatement of the millennium. I penetrated the atmosphere with him at a significant percentage of the speed of light and he vaporized. I'd say before we hit the ground, but I hit it within a few microseconds of initial atmospheric impact so trace particles of him might have made landfall. I don't know. I estimate I lost consciousness somewhere in the thermosphere when the fusion reactions picked up speed.
She then rested twelve moons and awoke.[3]
[3] I honestly didn't expect to survive plummeting through the sky at a speed close enough to c that I risked violating the laws of physics. In fact, I didn't plan on surviving murdering Tirek. I wasn't sure I could live with that burden. I mean, who could live with the weight of knowingly snuffing the life of another living being? I was devastated when Princess Luna popped by six months into my coma and informed me I was still alive.
On the dawn of the first day of the thirteenth cycle, Princess Radiant Dawn was born to the Princess of Love.[4]
[4] This is part of why I didn't want to live after murdering Tirek. I didn't want to have to tell my descendants that I was a murderer. Who knows if he might have eventually reformed? I unfairly robbed him of that chance. The fact that I got off scot-free just because he was a threat to Equestria did little to ease my conscience.
And on the day the Princess of Friendship awoke, you shall light a candle to honor those who fell under Tirek.[5]
[5] The only one who died that day was Tirek, according to official records. Because I murdered him. At the time I thought he had left me no choice. He had taken all of Equestria's magic and taken all of my friends hostage after my attempts to nonlethally subdue him had failed. The other Princesses had given me their power and I snapped under the pressure. I sunk to his level and put him down like one of Fluttershy's animals.
The candle was my idea to be able to openly grieve for losing a part of myself after murdering Tirek, to enable Equestria to cry with me. It was the only way I could retain my sanity and try to piece together my moral compass again after committing an unforgivable crime.
On that day you shall prepare a great feast for your family.[6]
[6] In my years of experience, food has excellent palliative properties. I know it always helps me get through tough times. Maybe that's why Nightmare Night turned into what it is today. I know I don't mind an excuse to drown the horrible pit in my stomach with enough cake to feed a small town.
That will be the day you remember Equestria lived.[7]
[7] When it comes down to brass tacks, I realize intellectually that I did the right thing. I dispatched the greatest threat the world had ever faced. Technically, I'm the most decorated hero that the world has ever known. I should be grateful for ensuring the planet's survival.
I'm just of two minds about it. Did I really have to murder him? Was there another way? Perhaps whatever was in that box the Tree of Harmony produced may have helped, but we'll never know now. I made my bed and have to lie in it.
In the end, perhaps Equestria's safety and survival was worth sacrificing my personal values for half a second.
And this holiday continually serves as a personal reminder to always look for another way when faced with an impossible choice, to continually keep searching for the option that I won't regret for the rest of my life. If I was able to go back in time and redo it, I wouldn't have made the same decision. Then again, I can't.
That should be enough introspection for this year. My niece's birthday party is later today and I wouldn't miss that for anything.
Twilight Sparkle wiped the tears from her eyes, closed her journal, and smiled.
A very Twilight story. Who else would annotate the holy text describing her own exploits? This is a very strong character piece with great emotion and some nice, subtle “for want of a nail” details. I’d love to see this timeline explored further, especially since Starlight’s commune is still going strong, and the Bearers were likely sent there for a reason. Still, even as is, this was quite well done.
Post by
Haze
, deleted
>>Haze
Oh Lunasakes spoiler those horse apples. It's impossible not to read a short comment, and now my view of the story may be corrupted. :raritydespair:
Roger should really add a spoiler button to make it easier.
I would really really really really really really really like it if there were a means to auto-spoiler the contents of comments on stories we haven't yet commented on.
Oh Lunasakes spoiler those horse apples. It's impossible not to read a short comment, and now my view of the story may be corrupted. :raritydespair:
Roger should really add a spoiler button to make it easier.
I would really really really really really really really like it if there were a means to auto-spoiler the contents of comments on stories we haven't yet commented on.
Her niece isn't her descendant. I don't think Twilight would make that mistake in terminology.
It doesn't make sense for her to errata her own journal. It sounds like she's correcting what somepony else has written about her, not what she wrote about herself. I'm not sure where the source is that she's correcting.
It doesn't make sense for her to errata her own journal. It sounds like she's correcting what somepony else has written about her, not what she wrote about herself. I'm not sure where the source is that she's correcting.
This one is very good. I especially like the irony when she says that she can't go back in time to change what she did, because she would have been able to if she had followed canon-Twilight's path.
The only thing I can think of that might be worth changing is possibly saying that the candle was instead or additionally for Tirek, since Twilight clearly regrets killing him so much.
The only thing I can think of that might be worth changing is possibly saying that the candle was instead or additionally for Tirek, since Twilight clearly regrets killing him so much.
This is an interesting alternate timeline you paint here, Writer, and I'll add my voice to those who would like to see this expanded further.
The only real issue I have is that she is clearly footnoting a holy text of some sort, but it's unclear whether she's quoting from it, or directly editing it, until she closes her journal at the end of the piece. I'd suggest making it a little clearer where the source text is coming from.
The only real issue I have is that she is clearly footnoting a holy text of some sort, but it's unclear whether she's quoting from it, or directly editing it, until she closes her journal at the end of the piece. I'd suggest making it a little clearer where the source text is coming from.
This is going to be one of those frustrating occasions (probably more so for me than the author) where the piece does pretty much everything well, and yet I come out the other end feeling... I dunno, indifferent. I've read this one a few times now, but nothing has changed for me so far. The central character study is really interesting; I would have much preferred it to have been explored in a more conventional style, but I think the word count might have hampered any attempt to do it justice. I think the stylistic device used is clever, though I'm unsure why Twilight would errata her own journal... that part never felt as clear to me as it perhaps could have been.
I also wonder whether there was some significance to the changing of tone in Twilight's voice—blasé, unfeeling almost, in the first two annotations, and reflective and regretful in the later ones. I suspect there is, but I think the format prevented me from feeling it the way I was perhaps intended to.
Interesting though, and well written. Thanks for sharing.
I also wonder whether there was some significance to the changing of tone in Twilight's voice—blasé, unfeeling almost, in the first two annotations, and reflective and regretful in the later ones. I suspect there is, but I think the format prevented me from feeling it the way I was perhaps intended to.
Interesting though, and well written. Thanks for sharing.
>>Ceffyl_Dwr
I think I feel the same way.
Everything is fascinating up until the ending. There it just...tapers off. Find your good ending, author, and you have a great minific.
Tier : Almost there.
I think I feel the same way.
Everything is fascinating up until the ending. There it just...tapers off. Find your good ending, author, and you have a great minific.
Tier : Almost there.
Wow, that was dark. Not in the bad way, either; I could see Twilight being distraught over killing Tirek, given the nature of her studies and care put towards friendship. Just goes to show that the Batman rule of "Don't kill your enemies" is all the more important in Equestria. Despite how we like to joke, death doesn't come cheap in Equestria and it's going to affect somepony. This story not only shows how, but why this is. For that, I give it a solid review. Not the most pleasant to read, but it certainly shows why death isn't always the answer.
I absolutely loved this. It has the tepid moralizing of "Killing is always bad!!" and manages to present it in a well-balanced and resonant way?
I love the idea of Twilight keeping her own notes this way, and trying to simultaneously correct the official record, but being too torn-up about it try and express these feelings to a public that's obviously going to disagree with them. Likewise, the tone of voice is slightly erratic, changing from blasé to self-depreciative to somber; but I think that really fits the emotional arc that one goes through when trying to talk about something like this.
I also like how it just ends, after Twilight's vented a bit and is ready to go back to being a reasonable and well-adjusted pony.
Basically, it's totally perfect for me, and if weren't for my stupid weakness to really smooth dialogue this would be at the top of my slate.
I love the idea of Twilight keeping her own notes this way, and trying to simultaneously correct the official record, but being too torn-up about it try and express these feelings to a public that's obviously going to disagree with them. Likewise, the tone of voice is slightly erratic, changing from blasé to self-depreciative to somber; but I think that really fits the emotional arc that one goes through when trying to talk about something like this.
I also like how it just ends, after Twilight's vented a bit and is ready to go back to being a reasonable and well-adjusted pony.
Basically, it's totally perfect for me, and if weren't for my stupid weakness to really smooth dialogue this would be at the top of my slate.
Oh, man. Big fan of this. Obviously I'm always a sucker for text-in-text, as well as stories told through footnotes. Throw in some great voicing for Twilight, some wonderfully beautiful prose, and the fact that I'm a supremely stubborn pacifist (I sometimes think the show is too violent as is), and this is just lovely. Immediate fave if it hits FiMFiction.
It took me a second read-through to understand that Radiant Dawn was just Flurry Heart with a different name (at least, I think that's who she is). Not quite sure how killing Torek would induce that change, considering Flurry Heart is named so because of her own massive power. Is it meant to be statement on Twilight waking up? Like, the new child combined with Twilight waking up is a radiant dawn? The whole mention of the child seems a bit forced to me.
It took me a second read-through to understand that Radiant Dawn was just Flurry Heart with a different name (at least, I think that's who she is). Not quite sure how killing Torek would induce that change, considering Flurry Heart is named so because of her own massive power. Is it meant to be statement on Twilight waking up? Like, the new child combined with Twilight waking up is a radiant dawn? The whole mention of the child seems a bit forced to me.