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Fine Man
The grim device, tight and precise,
Blew up but tightly held the pressure in
'Til mass rebelled to bring forth hell—
And matter threw up all it had within.
Across the sands and blasted lands
He watched the scene with goggles tossed aside;
They were too dark to see the spark,
The flare of the compacted actinide.
Too bright! He ducked down from the sight,
The afterimage purpling his view.
The curse and gift of how he lived:
To see it for himself was how he knew.
Blew up but tightly held the pressure in
'Til mass rebelled to bring forth hell—
And matter threw up all it had within.
Across the sands and blasted lands
He watched the scene with goggles tossed aside;
They were too dark to see the spark,
The flare of the compacted actinide.
Too bright! He ducked down from the sight,
The afterimage purpling his view.
The curse and gift of how he lived:
To see it for himself was how he knew.
On structure, it looks like only the 2nd and 4th lines rhyme, and the lines alternate 8 and 10 syllables. That makes for a somewhat irregular read, but there's nothing wrong with it. The second line of the final stanza seems to come up a syllable short, though.
On story, I'm really not sure what's happening here. Is this someone watching a nuclear explosion? But I'm not sure why he's doing that, whether he's the one who caused it (and again why), and that leaves me not knowing what the last line is supposed to mean. Good imagery, but I'm lost as to what point it's making.
On story, I'm really not sure what's happening here. Is this someone watching a nuclear explosion? But I'm not sure why he's doing that, whether he's the one who caused it (and again why), and that leaves me not knowing what the last line is supposed to mean. Good imagery, but I'm lost as to what point it's making.
>>Pascoite
This references an anecdote about the physicist Richard Feynman, who was present at the Trinity test. He related that he didn't wish to use the provided safety glasses, and sat behind the windshield of a truck to watch the blast, which indeed dazzled him but did not permanently damage his eyesight.
My intent with this piece, other than finding a means to compactly versify how such a bomb works, was to highlight how it reflected the rest of Feynman's storied career; stubborn, iconoclastic, rebellious, with the practical search for truth even when it hurts. Rather much to try to squeeze in, in retrospect.
This references an anecdote about the physicist Richard Feynman, who was present at the Trinity test. He related that he didn't wish to use the provided safety glasses, and sat behind the windshield of a truck to watch the blast, which indeed dazzled him but did not permanently damage his eyesight.
My intent with this piece, other than finding a means to compactly versify how such a bomb works, was to highlight how it reflected the rest of Feynman's storied career; stubborn, iconoclastic, rebellious, with the practical search for truth even when it hurts. Rather much to try to squeeze in, in retrospect.