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At first, there was the Void.
Featureless, immeasurable, and never-changing, it had always been there and always would be. Except...
Without warning, a single prompt appeared. Then another. And yet another, so rapidly they filled their allotted space, although the Void remained.
A sense of anticipation filled what once was unfilled. Much like the Void, it too was uncentered and random, although forces beyond any perceptions stirred beneath it.
And slowly, ever so cautiously, one prompt rose above them all, buoyed by a false sense of enthusiasm that perhaps this time, it would become The Prompt and rise into the sacred heights of the great Ot, which came before.
Featureless, immeasurable, and never-changing, it had always been there and always would be. Except...
Without warning, a single prompt appeared. Then another. And yet another, so rapidly they filled their allotted space, although the Void remained.
A sense of anticipation filled what once was unfilled. Much like the Void, it too was uncentered and random, although forces beyond any perceptions stirred beneath it.
And slowly, ever so cautiously, one prompt rose above them all, buoyed by a false sense of enthusiasm that perhaps this time, it would become The Prompt and rise into the sacred heights of the great Ot, which came before.
Geeze, prompts closed fast. I really wanted to put in a specific prompt for this one too... .
Gosh, I apologise. I'm completely snowed under these days because I'm spending almost all my time and energy in finding a new home outside of Paris. I'll be back for the next event, pinkie promise.
Bravo. The hardest thing, I think, about mini rounds is getting a full narrative arc completed in the space allotted, and in that regard I call this a great success. We have two established characters, even without names, a goal, progress to that goal, and resolution! More than just the basics though, I want to commend the first two paragraphs for establishing character and setting without ever naming or narrating as such. We know our protagonist is an experienced mountaineer, as her partner must have been as well to have made it so far, we learn exactly what she wants and how far she's willing to go to get it, and the consolation prize she's willing to accept if worst had come to worst.
I feel like that's a lot of heavy lifting for two short paragraphs. The rest of the prose is concise, but never boring or lacking, and to top it all off I didn't predict the ending, which is always a great treat.
Top marks all around.
I feel like that's a lot of heavy lifting for two short paragraphs. The rest of the prose is concise, but never boring or lacking, and to top it all off I didn't predict the ending, which is always a great treat.
Top marks all around.
Kind of geeking out about this one! There's a whisper of the time loop/Sisyphus's Cabin in the very first line, but I didn't think anything of it until the repeats actually started. Cool, subtle foreshadowing.
I had just praised Snowclad for completing a narrative arc, and I'm now slightly altering that same praise, here. Since we're in a time loop sort of situation without hard memory retention, it's difficult to grow a character at all, yet we still see dear Byron gradually improve on his murder skills and finally end up, one must imagine, happy.
Very cool work. And just in case anybody asks, the deluge of line breaks didn't bother me at all, even when they were only a line or two apart. I think of them as jump cuts in this sort of narrative style.
I had just praised Snowclad for completing a narrative arc, and I'm now slightly altering that same praise, here. Since we're in a time loop sort of situation without hard memory retention, it's difficult to grow a character at all, yet we still see dear Byron gradually improve on his murder skills and finally end up, one must imagine, happy.
Very cool work. And just in case anybody asks, the deluge of line breaks didn't bother me at all, even when they were only a line or two apart. I think of them as jump cuts in this sort of narrative style.
Immediate shout out to this line:
It's fun, amidst the chaos, and it really, not humanizes exactly but humbles Queen Arran in the brief time we're allowed to spend with her.
There's a lot of ways to do "end of the world," and the Ragnarok-style "oh no the ancient things are free again" sort is one of my favorites. I also felt a Cloverfield vibe, here, in that the creature about to do some serious stomping isn't front and center in the camera. In part, I imagine, because based on it's size it really doesn't matter when else it has going on. A mountain-sized Stay Puff'd Marshmallow Man will lead you to oblivion just as well as a proper monster archetype. I did initially picture an Adamantoise, though, for full disclosure.
A nice little glimpse into the end of someone's world. I dig it. Thanks for writing it.
P.S. Props to that inlet for being a pain in the ass to the very end.
Perhaps it was foolish to mourn for a plant, but her fool was not there, so the task fell to her.
It's fun, amidst the chaos, and it really, not humanizes exactly but humbles Queen Arran in the brief time we're allowed to spend with her.
There's a lot of ways to do "end of the world," and the Ragnarok-style "oh no the ancient things are free again" sort is one of my favorites. I also felt a Cloverfield vibe, here, in that the creature about to do some serious stomping isn't front and center in the camera. In part, I imagine, because based on it's size it really doesn't matter when else it has going on. A mountain-sized Stay Puff'd Marshmallow Man will lead you to oblivion just as well as a proper monster archetype. I did initially picture an Adamantoise, though, for full disclosure.
A nice little glimpse into the end of someone's world. I dig it. Thanks for writing it.
P.S. Props to that inlet for being a pain in the ass to the very end.
I wonder who this artist could be. Congrats on making a point to get in, man.
Looks like a pen drawing to me. It really makes me wonder just how big the original was with that line thickness. Anyway, this is a wonderful example of how to use the human brain to your benefit, particularly with the person. If you really look at it, there are surprisingly few lines actually drawn for how good this looks. I love it. I can't really comment on how well it matches the story, since I have no plans to read it, but it's pretty darn cool on its own.
That face is kinda haunting tho....
Looks like a pen drawing to me. It really makes me wonder just how big the original was with that line thickness. Anyway, this is a wonderful example of how to use the human brain to your benefit, particularly with the person. If you really look at it, there are surprisingly few lines actually drawn for how good this looks. I love it. I can't really comment on how well it matches the story, since I have no plans to read it, but it's pretty darn cool on its own.
That face is kinda haunting tho....