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1414///2577
Standing up tall
Now we can’t get any rest
Those were the terms;
The conditions were set.
So let’s dance around the parasite
And tell ourselves that it’s alright
She’s not coming back tonight
No, she’s not coming back tonight
So let’s sing a song for the olden days
And not give a shit if it goes both ways
And when our atoms all get replaced
We’ll meet again in that other place
Little white lies are just grains of sand
Biden to the oceans’ command
I hope I speak in a way you understand
This wasn’t what I planned
The serpent rose from the water deep
And put the costal shelves to sleep
And opened up its mouths to speak--
What was heard made my heart leap
“The tragedy of man
Is they did it with their own hand
And if given another chance
They’ll surely do it again.”
And in the valley of my slowly flooding memory
The storm couldn’t put out the heat
A white lie for the poor guy--
He dead, he dead.
And all the computer started talking--
As all the serpents came together--
And as all the lines were measured--
Every word was in its place.
Now we can’t get any rest
Those were the terms;
The conditions were set.
So let’s dance around the parasite
And tell ourselves that it’s alright
She’s not coming back tonight
No, she’s not coming back tonight
So let’s sing a song for the olden days
And not give a shit if it goes both ways
And when our atoms all get replaced
We’ll meet again in that other place
Little white lies are just grains of sand
Biden to the oceans’ command
I hope I speak in a way you understand
This wasn’t what I planned
The serpent rose from the water deep
And put the costal shelves to sleep
And opened up its mouths to speak--
What was heard made my heart leap
“The tragedy of man
Is they did it with their own hand
And if given another chance
They’ll surely do it again.”
And in the valley of my slowly flooding memory
The storm couldn’t put out the heat
A white lie for the poor guy--
He dead, he dead.
And all the computer started talking--
As all the serpents came together--
And as all the lines were measured--
Every word was in its place.
I'm guessing:
From the titles, structures, and imagery--water, lizards, apocalypses--that this poem, this poem, and this poem are, if not a triptych, then are at least by the same author. And while I hate having to say it, they all three strike me as jigsaw puzzles with most of the pieces missing.
I'm just not getting anything from them other than water, lizards, and apocalypses. In this one, though, unless it's somehow a political poem, I think "Biden" should probably be "Bidden", and unless it's got something to do with cartilage in the ribcage, "costal" should maybe be "coastal." But after several read-throughs of each, nothing's conveying any real meaning to me....
Mike
From the titles, structures, and imagery--water, lizards, apocalypses--that this poem, this poem, and this poem are, if not a triptych, then are at least by the same author. And while I hate having to say it, they all three strike me as jigsaw puzzles with most of the pieces missing.
I'm just not getting anything from them other than water, lizards, and apocalypses. In this one, though, unless it's somehow a political poem, I think "Biden" should probably be "Bidden", and unless it's got something to do with cartilage in the ribcage, "costal" should maybe be "coastal." But after several read-throughs of each, nothing's conveying any real meaning to me....
Mike
This does share a lot of the water imagery the first one of this set I read did, and it also has that irregularity/absence in rhyme and meter that make it feel more like song lyrics than a poem to be read.
I'm not sure if "Biden" was supposed to be "bidin'," or if you're making a political statement. I kind of like this one better than the first, as I think it has more of a message than just a mood. I may be reading too much into it, but it seems to have nods to other literature as well. Like the "he dead" makes me think of Heart of Darkness, and the "white lie for the poor guy" sounds a lot like "penny for the old guy." Though I haven't taken the time to think about those sources and decide if their themes bring any extra meaning here. I do feel like this one is kind of generically lamenting. To draw a parallel with a common story plot, it's like having a character die and expecting the reader to be sad about it just because deaths in general are sad, without showing me why this character's death in particular is sad.
I'm not sure if "Biden" was supposed to be "bidin'," or if you're making a political statement. I kind of like this one better than the first, as I think it has more of a message than just a mood. I may be reading too much into it, but it seems to have nods to other literature as well. Like the "he dead" makes me think of Heart of Darkness, and the "white lie for the poor guy" sounds a lot like "penny for the old guy." Though I haven't taken the time to think about those sources and decide if their themes bring any extra meaning here. I do feel like this one is kind of generically lamenting. To draw a parallel with a common story plot, it's like having a character die and expecting the reader to be sad about it just because deaths in general are sad, without showing me why this character's death in particular is sad.
Another worm from out the grass
Is threatening to strike my ass.
"How raw the world will be! How trite
Our efforts, faced by parasite!"
We placed it all into a can,
The sad vile history of man
And wrapped it up with plumber's tape
Too low for angel, high for ape.
Is threatening to strike my ass.
"How raw the world will be! How trite
Our efforts, faced by parasite!"
We placed it all into a can,
The sad vile history of man
And wrapped it up with plumber's tape
Too low for angel, high for ape.
