Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Show rules for this event
What a Drag it Is, Getting Old
The Tarnished Bit Pub & Grill was fairly empty as Sunset wandered through the winding maze of tables and booths. Warm late afternoon sunshine streamed through the windows, which highlighted the rustic timber furnishings that gave the tavern its homey charm. She tried to focus more on the relaxing atmosphere, and less on the tightness in her chest.
The traditional back corner booth came into view, and time seemed to slow down a bit as a wave of nostalgia washed over her. She paused to take in the sight of Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity listening as Pinkie Pie chattered away - something about texting while glazing donuts, from the sound of it. They laughed, a sound which should have sounded like music to her ears, but Sunset felt the noise was hollow.
The moment passed, and Sunset made her way over to them, trying to leave her anxiety in her wake.
“There she is,” Applejack said as Sunset sat next to her. A cheer chorused from the rest of the table.
“Hey, sorry girls,” Sunset said, “the bus ran late.”
“Uh-oh.” Rainbow Dash’s smile fell away. “What happened to your bike this time?”
Sunset sighed. “She threw a rod, I think. Took her to the shop earlier this morning.”
Applejack winced. “Ouch. It may be time to put her out to pasture, darlin’.”
“Yeah… Yeah.” Sunset tried not to sigh again, and failed. “If it’s actually that bad, I’m probably just going to sell her for parts. I can’t keep pouring money into repairs.”
Rarity reached over and put a hand over hers. “I’m sorry, Sunset. I know how much that bike means to you. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.”
Sunset gave her a tight smile. “I appreciate that, but AJ’s right. It’s probably time to, um, retire her.” She shook her head. “But enough about my bike. Where’s Fluttershy? I thought for sure I’d be the last one here.”
“I’m afraid you are, darling,” Rarity said. “The poor dear called me in tears last night. Apparently she needs to stay in Wyomare because some ruffian poisoned a family of wolves, and she’s doing her level best to nurse them back to health. It will be touch and go for the next few days, though, so she needs to stay at the wildlife rehabilitation center until things aren’t quite so dire.”
“Aw, poor thing,” said Applejack.
“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash. “She was really looking forward to seeing us this year.”
Sunset deliberately ignored the feeling of the ground lurching beneath her. She forced an upbeat tone into her voice as she said, “Well, it’s still good to see the rest of you girls. Let’s grab some drinks!”
“I believe that’s my cue,” said their waiter as he sidled up to the table. “What can I get you lovely ladies?”
“I’ll have a Tuppence Amber Ale, tall, please,” Sunset said.
“Sure, can I see some ID?”
A combination of smiles and snorts went around the table as the girls dug through their respective pockets and purses for their driver’s licenses. The waiter nodded at each of them, then looked to Applejack.
“Apple Family’s Finest, tall,” she said with no small amount of pride.
“Same,” said Rainbow Dash with a grin. “I can’t get enough o’ them Apples.”
Applejack made a face at Rainbow Dash. “You’re terrible.”
Rainbow Dash elbowed her in the ribs. “You love it.”
Rarity cleared her throat. “Silver Stallion Cabernet Sauvignon, please.”
“And a virgin strawberry daiquiri for me!” Pinkie Pie chirped.
Sunset stared at her along with the rest of the girls. “Who are you, and what have you done with Pinkie Pie?”
Pinkie Pie’s grin was somewhere between sheepish and coy. “What? Can’t a girl decide to take it easy once in a while?”
Rainbow Dash frowned at her. “Dammit, Pinkie Pie, are you pregnant again?”
Pinkie Pie burst into high-spirited laughter. “Yep! Baby number four, due in November!” She put a hand to her belly, which, now that she’d pointed it out, had a subtle bulge.
Applejack’s face lit up as though Hearth’s Warming had come early. “That’s wonderful news, Pinkie Pie! Congratulations!”
Sunset couldn’t help but smile at Pinkie Pie as well. “Wow, aren’t you the avatar of fecundity. You’re averaging what, a kid a year?”
“Well, yeah, this is the third year in a row Pinkie Pie’s gone sober on us because,” Rainbow Dash gestured vaguely at Pinkie Pie, “y’know, pregnant.”
Pinkie beamed as she shrugged. “What can I say? I love babies!”
Rainbow Dash smirked. “Psh, that’s not all you love.”
It was Applejack’s turn to elbow Rainbow Dash, even as she snickered. “Be nice, Rainbow.”
“Indeed,” Rarity said, primly. “I think that choosing to expand one’s family should take precedence over a single evening’s carousing with friends.”
“Nah, she’s right,” Pinkie Pie said, a glitter in her eye. “I really love the ‘D’, too.” She gave Rarity a friendly shove. “You know what I mean!”
Rarity blushed furiously as she pointedly buried herself behind her menu. “I mean, really.”
Rainbow Dash held up her hands with a laugh. “Hey, I’m not judging or anything. Different strokes for different folks, and all that.”
“Pffft hahaha, ‘strokes’!” Pinkie Pie snorted as she made a lewd gesture.
A fresh howl of laughter erupted around the table, and Sunset felt the tension of the day slowly ease from her shoulders. This was the way things were supposed to be. It felt so good to be surrounded by her friends again.
Most of them, at least.
Sunset buried the thought, but not before it smothered her laugh.
Three rounds of drinks and half a meal later, Sunset could tell everyone was feeling pretty good. Applejack and Rainbow Dash barely had any space left between them, and Pinkie Pie kept egging on Rarity as she ranted about the state of the fashion industry.
“Sequins!” Rarity gesticulated wildly with one hand while she held her wine with the other. “Can you believe the tackiness of it? I honestly don’t know what this world is coming to.”
Rainbow Dash furrowed her brow. “Wait, didn’t your winter line, like, two years back revolve around sequins?”
Rarity leveled a finger at her. “Precisely! Suri Polomare is trying to revitalize a fad that came and went years ago! A fad which I started!” She folded her arms across her chest with a huff. “The unmitigated gall!”
“Ooh, she’s really gotten under your skin this time,” Pinkie Pie said. “What are you going to do to get back at her?”
“Absolutely nothing,” Rarity said. She paused to take another swig of wine, then said, “My line of boutiques has twice the market share of hers. This blunder will only cost her in the long run. No reason for me to sully my brand by deigning to acknowledge hers.” As if on cue, her phone buzzed, and after a brief glance she began feverishly typing a response.
Applejack looked out the window as the nearby streetlight flared to life. “Not to cut this shindig short or anythin’, but don’t you need to get home soon, Pinkie Pie? Your husband’s probably buried under a mountain of toys by now.”
Sunset felt the blood drain from her face. It was too early for that kind of talk. It still felt like she’d only just arrived, and to lose her friends again so soon–
“Nah, I’ve still got time. Joe actually looks forward to these get togethers almost as much as I do. It’s not too often he gets to play with the kids on his own. It’s really sweet.”
Sunset breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Crisis averted.
Pinkie Pie suddenly sniffed, eyes glistening. She caught Rarity’s startled expression and said, “Heh, sorry. I just really do love that big lug.”
“Oh.” Rarity patted Pinkie Pie on the shoulder. “There there, sweetheart. You have nothing to apologize for.”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak, hesitated, then said, “Nevermind. Sunset, can you and AJ scooch your butts, I need to hit the restroom.”
Sunset chuckled as she stood to let Applejack and Rainbow Dash out. “‘Scooch your butts’? You really have gone country–”
There was a muffled pop as Rainbow Dash stood, and she staggered to the side with a grimace. She grabbed the end of the booth to stabilize herself.
In a blink, Applejack was at her side. “Hey, you okay?”
“I’m fine, AJ.” There was an edge to Rainbow’s voice that vanished when she added, “Thanks. Be right back.” She strode away, slightly favoring her right leg as she rounded a corner.
“If that ain’t the most pernicious lie of them all,” Applejack grumbled as she slid back into the booth.
Sunset blinked at her. “What is?”
“‘I’m fine,’” Applejack spat. “Thing is, she ain’t fine. Poor girl’s knee is almost completely shot. Hardly any cartilage left in it anymore, just bone grinding on bone.” She mashed her fists together for emphasis. “She puts on a brave face, but it’s getting harder for her to help out with chores around the farm. I keep tellin’ her to wear a brace or something, but she’s as stubborn as I am.”
“That sounds like full blown osteoarthritis,” said Sunset as she kept her voice low. “She’s not even thirty!”
Applejack’s expression soured. “Yeah, well, when you take a hit like she did in college, and then keep wearing that damn rock–”
Rainbow Dash rounded the corner again, and Applejack immediately stopped talking.
Sunset covered for her by standing to let Rainbow Dash reclaim her seat. “After you, RD.”
“Thanks,” Rainbow Dash said, sidling back over to sit in the middle of the booth.
At that moment, Sunset suddenly realized two things, both of which reinforced a creeping dread at the back of her neck. The first was that there was now a sizeable gap between Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
The second was that out of all of them, only Rarity was still wearing her geode.
At last, the dreaded hour came when Sunset, moderately tipsy, stood with her friends out front as they said their goodbyes. She did find it gratifying that nobody seemed keen on actually leaving – at least, not yet.
Pinkie Pie suddenly spoke. “Has anybody–” She looked at Sunset, then fell silent.
Sunset knew what was coming, but braced herself and asked, “What is it?”
Pinkie Pie stared at her shoes, then looked up at the rest of them and asked, “When was the last time anybody talked to Twilight? Not a text or an email, but like, actually spoke?”
Sunset felt heat rising to her cheeks as the rest of her friends stole furtive glances at her, then pointedly looked away again. She sighed and said, “I know I’m not the last one who talked to her. She and I haven’t spoken in years.” She flinched at the unintentional level of honesty in those words, so she clarified, “Not since the night she arrived in Geneighva.”
Another awkward pause, which Pinkie Pie broke again. “The last time I talked to her was a few days after Strawberry Rhubarb was born.” She stared at them, increasingly alarmed. “But that was in July, like, almost a year ago. That can’t have been it, can it?”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “She and I nerded out over the last Daring Do book, uh, last September, I think.” She chuckled. “She kept going on about how the different translations in, uh…” She caught the look on Sunset’s face. “In, uh, yeah. September.”
Silence descended once more. Sunset looked around at them, then said in a flat voice, “So, that’s your answer, Pinkie Pie. Eight months ago.”
Rarity cleared her throat. “Well, she is doing very important work for HORN, still, right? That’s got to take a lot out of her.”
Sunset simply shrugged, thoroughly unwilling to maintain the facade that she wanted this conversation to continue.
Pinkie Pie nodded. “Okay, then. I just miss her voice sometimes, is all.”
Applejack snorted. “Well, it ain’t like she’s dead. Give her a call sometime!”
“I have.” Pinkie Pie said in a small voice.
“Let me guess,” said Sunset, not unkindly. “Straight to a full voicemail box?”
Pinkie Pie nodded again. “Yep.”
Sunset took a deep breath. Twilight had always been terrible at keeping her voicemail cleaned out. It was one of her more endearingly frustrating qualities, wanting to hang on to snippets of her friends’ voices as though they were memories she didn’t want to lose. It was certainly something Sunset could sympathize with, were she still capable of sympathy for Twilight.
It was a long time before anyone spoke. Rarity received another text, to which she typed furiously in response.
“Yeesh,” Rainbow Dash finally said, “talk about a buzzkill.”
Sunset gave her a weak smile. “No reason we can’t keep working on that buzz, right?”
Applejack returned the smile in kind. “No can do, sugar. We’ve got chores in the mornin’.”
Rainbow Dash merely grunted.
Rarity looked up from her phone. “I’d love to, darling, but I’m afraid I can’t. My flight back to Manehattan leaves at six o’clock sharp tomorrow morning.”
Out of force of habit, Sunset looked to Pinkie Pie
She simply rubbed her belly with a sheepish grin. “I mean…”
Sunset chuckled, then, to hide her sudden welling tears, she wrapped Pinkie Pie in a hug. One by one, she felt her friends throw their arms around them as well. She discreetly rubbed away the moisture in her eyes with a free hand, then let go. “Well, I best get to the bus station. Same time next year?”
There was a chorus of agreement, and with that, they bid each other farewell, and went their separate ways.
Sunset stared into the empty void of her studio apartment ceiling. It had been an hour since she’d crawled through the door, and removing her pants had taken her last reserves of motivation. Now her mind endlessly whirled, ever downward into a bitter pit of resentment.
It didn’t help that it was so very quiet. Nor did it help that she was sobering up, with a hangover already draping itself over her exhausted form.
Her friends all lived such rich, full lives compared to her. The last decade of her life had been spent shuffling from one failed tech co-op to another, and all she had to show for it now was a broken bike and a shitty downtown apartment.
It had started with Twilight. She was the first domino to fall. There were a number of excellent reasons why she hadn’t come to celebrate the anniversary of their graduation these past few years. Sunset counted herself among them.
Now, it was Fluttershy. An idle fluke? Or a precedent for future excuses? Sunset immediately felt ashamed of herself for thinking so poorly of a friend as dear as Fluttershy, and a wave of guilt washed her further down the spiral, deeper and darker.
One by one her friends would fall away as their own lives claimed them. Who would be next? Rarity, probably - she’d been absent most of the night, dealing with one crisis or another through her phone, and clearly had one foot out the door already. Perhaps Applejack and Rainbow Dash would get a divorce, and that would be the end of seeing at least one of them, if not both. Perhaps Pinkie Pie would just keep cranking out children until there were too many to handle by one beleaguered man.
Perhaps Sunset would be the one to leave, so that she wouldn’t be the one who was left behind.
Perhaps she would die, damned to become naught but dust, forgotten, forever.
Perhaps she should get up and brush her damn teeth.
Suddenly, the void was lit by a lavender glow, and a rattling noise came from her bookshelf. Sunset groaned as she sat up, then sprang to her feet as she realized what it was.
There, coated with a thick layer of dust, shuddered the glowing two-way journal she shared with Princess Twilight.
It had been so, so long since Sunset had written to Princess Twilight. Or had Princess Twilight been the last to write her? She honestly couldn’t remember. She couldn’t even remember when she had last thought about her, or thought about Equestria in general for that matter.
Next to the book, also coated with dust, sat a lone picture frame. Eight smiling teenage faces beamed at her in the wan glow.
Guilt piled on top of guilt as Sunset pulled the tome free. She wiped off the cover with her shirt, then, with no small amount of trepidation, cracked it open.
Sunset stared at the page, numb. After a quiet minute, she closed the book and returned it to the shelf. She crawled into bed, where she failed to do anything more than dampen her pillow with silent tears.
The traditional back corner booth came into view, and time seemed to slow down a bit as a wave of nostalgia washed over her. She paused to take in the sight of Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity listening as Pinkie Pie chattered away - something about texting while glazing donuts, from the sound of it. They laughed, a sound which should have sounded like music to her ears, but Sunset felt the noise was hollow.
The moment passed, and Sunset made her way over to them, trying to leave her anxiety in her wake.
“There she is,” Applejack said as Sunset sat next to her. A cheer chorused from the rest of the table.
“Hey, sorry girls,” Sunset said, “the bus ran late.”
“Uh-oh.” Rainbow Dash’s smile fell away. “What happened to your bike this time?”
Sunset sighed. “She threw a rod, I think. Took her to the shop earlier this morning.”
Applejack winced. “Ouch. It may be time to put her out to pasture, darlin’.”
“Yeah… Yeah.” Sunset tried not to sigh again, and failed. “If it’s actually that bad, I’m probably just going to sell her for parts. I can’t keep pouring money into repairs.”
Rarity reached over and put a hand over hers. “I’m sorry, Sunset. I know how much that bike means to you. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.”
Sunset gave her a tight smile. “I appreciate that, but AJ’s right. It’s probably time to, um, retire her.” She shook her head. “But enough about my bike. Where’s Fluttershy? I thought for sure I’d be the last one here.”
“I’m afraid you are, darling,” Rarity said. “The poor dear called me in tears last night. Apparently she needs to stay in Wyomare because some ruffian poisoned a family of wolves, and she’s doing her level best to nurse them back to health. It will be touch and go for the next few days, though, so she needs to stay at the wildlife rehabilitation center until things aren’t quite so dire.”
“Aw, poor thing,” said Applejack.
“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash. “She was really looking forward to seeing us this year.”
Sunset deliberately ignored the feeling of the ground lurching beneath her. She forced an upbeat tone into her voice as she said, “Well, it’s still good to see the rest of you girls. Let’s grab some drinks!”
“I believe that’s my cue,” said their waiter as he sidled up to the table. “What can I get you lovely ladies?”
“I’ll have a Tuppence Amber Ale, tall, please,” Sunset said.
“Sure, can I see some ID?”
A combination of smiles and snorts went around the table as the girls dug through their respective pockets and purses for their driver’s licenses. The waiter nodded at each of them, then looked to Applejack.
“Apple Family’s Finest, tall,” she said with no small amount of pride.
“Same,” said Rainbow Dash with a grin. “I can’t get enough o’ them Apples.”
Applejack made a face at Rainbow Dash. “You’re terrible.”
Rainbow Dash elbowed her in the ribs. “You love it.”
Rarity cleared her throat. “Silver Stallion Cabernet Sauvignon, please.”
“And a virgin strawberry daiquiri for me!” Pinkie Pie chirped.
Sunset stared at her along with the rest of the girls. “Who are you, and what have you done with Pinkie Pie?”
Pinkie Pie’s grin was somewhere between sheepish and coy. “What? Can’t a girl decide to take it easy once in a while?”
Rainbow Dash frowned at her. “Dammit, Pinkie Pie, are you pregnant again?”
Pinkie Pie burst into high-spirited laughter. “Yep! Baby number four, due in November!” She put a hand to her belly, which, now that she’d pointed it out, had a subtle bulge.
Applejack’s face lit up as though Hearth’s Warming had come early. “That’s wonderful news, Pinkie Pie! Congratulations!”
Sunset couldn’t help but smile at Pinkie Pie as well. “Wow, aren’t you the avatar of fecundity. You’re averaging what, a kid a year?”
“Well, yeah, this is the third year in a row Pinkie Pie’s gone sober on us because,” Rainbow Dash gestured vaguely at Pinkie Pie, “y’know, pregnant.”
Pinkie beamed as she shrugged. “What can I say? I love babies!”
Rainbow Dash smirked. “Psh, that’s not all you love.”
It was Applejack’s turn to elbow Rainbow Dash, even as she snickered. “Be nice, Rainbow.”
“Indeed,” Rarity said, primly. “I think that choosing to expand one’s family should take precedence over a single evening’s carousing with friends.”
“Nah, she’s right,” Pinkie Pie said, a glitter in her eye. “I really love the ‘D’, too.” She gave Rarity a friendly shove. “You know what I mean!”
Rarity blushed furiously as she pointedly buried herself behind her menu. “I mean, really.”
Rainbow Dash held up her hands with a laugh. “Hey, I’m not judging or anything. Different strokes for different folks, and all that.”
“Pffft hahaha, ‘strokes’!” Pinkie Pie snorted as she made a lewd gesture.
A fresh howl of laughter erupted around the table, and Sunset felt the tension of the day slowly ease from her shoulders. This was the way things were supposed to be. It felt so good to be surrounded by her friends again.
Most of them, at least.
Sunset buried the thought, but not before it smothered her laugh.
Three rounds of drinks and half a meal later, Sunset could tell everyone was feeling pretty good. Applejack and Rainbow Dash barely had any space left between them, and Pinkie Pie kept egging on Rarity as she ranted about the state of the fashion industry.
“Sequins!” Rarity gesticulated wildly with one hand while she held her wine with the other. “Can you believe the tackiness of it? I honestly don’t know what this world is coming to.”
Rainbow Dash furrowed her brow. “Wait, didn’t your winter line, like, two years back revolve around sequins?”
Rarity leveled a finger at her. “Precisely! Suri Polomare is trying to revitalize a fad that came and went years ago! A fad which I started!” She folded her arms across her chest with a huff. “The unmitigated gall!”
“Ooh, she’s really gotten under your skin this time,” Pinkie Pie said. “What are you going to do to get back at her?”
“Absolutely nothing,” Rarity said. She paused to take another swig of wine, then said, “My line of boutiques has twice the market share of hers. This blunder will only cost her in the long run. No reason for me to sully my brand by deigning to acknowledge hers.” As if on cue, her phone buzzed, and after a brief glance she began feverishly typing a response.
Applejack looked out the window as the nearby streetlight flared to life. “Not to cut this shindig short or anythin’, but don’t you need to get home soon, Pinkie Pie? Your husband’s probably buried under a mountain of toys by now.”
Sunset felt the blood drain from her face. It was too early for that kind of talk. It still felt like she’d only just arrived, and to lose her friends again so soon–
“Nah, I’ve still got time. Joe actually looks forward to these get togethers almost as much as I do. It’s not too often he gets to play with the kids on his own. It’s really sweet.”
Sunset breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Crisis averted.
Pinkie Pie suddenly sniffed, eyes glistening. She caught Rarity’s startled expression and said, “Heh, sorry. I just really do love that big lug.”
“Oh.” Rarity patted Pinkie Pie on the shoulder. “There there, sweetheart. You have nothing to apologize for.”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak, hesitated, then said, “Nevermind. Sunset, can you and AJ scooch your butts, I need to hit the restroom.”
Sunset chuckled as she stood to let Applejack and Rainbow Dash out. “‘Scooch your butts’? You really have gone country–”
There was a muffled pop as Rainbow Dash stood, and she staggered to the side with a grimace. She grabbed the end of the booth to stabilize herself.
In a blink, Applejack was at her side. “Hey, you okay?”
“I’m fine, AJ.” There was an edge to Rainbow’s voice that vanished when she added, “Thanks. Be right back.” She strode away, slightly favoring her right leg as she rounded a corner.
“If that ain’t the most pernicious lie of them all,” Applejack grumbled as she slid back into the booth.
Sunset blinked at her. “What is?”
“‘I’m fine,’” Applejack spat. “Thing is, she ain’t fine. Poor girl’s knee is almost completely shot. Hardly any cartilage left in it anymore, just bone grinding on bone.” She mashed her fists together for emphasis. “She puts on a brave face, but it’s getting harder for her to help out with chores around the farm. I keep tellin’ her to wear a brace or something, but she’s as stubborn as I am.”
“That sounds like full blown osteoarthritis,” said Sunset as she kept her voice low. “She’s not even thirty!”
Applejack’s expression soured. “Yeah, well, when you take a hit like she did in college, and then keep wearing that damn rock–”
Rainbow Dash rounded the corner again, and Applejack immediately stopped talking.
Sunset covered for her by standing to let Rainbow Dash reclaim her seat. “After you, RD.”
“Thanks,” Rainbow Dash said, sidling back over to sit in the middle of the booth.
At that moment, Sunset suddenly realized two things, both of which reinforced a creeping dread at the back of her neck. The first was that there was now a sizeable gap between Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
The second was that out of all of them, only Rarity was still wearing her geode.
At last, the dreaded hour came when Sunset, moderately tipsy, stood with her friends out front as they said their goodbyes. She did find it gratifying that nobody seemed keen on actually leaving – at least, not yet.
Pinkie Pie suddenly spoke. “Has anybody–” She looked at Sunset, then fell silent.
Sunset knew what was coming, but braced herself and asked, “What is it?”
Pinkie Pie stared at her shoes, then looked up at the rest of them and asked, “When was the last time anybody talked to Twilight? Not a text or an email, but like, actually spoke?”
Sunset felt heat rising to her cheeks as the rest of her friends stole furtive glances at her, then pointedly looked away again. She sighed and said, “I know I’m not the last one who talked to her. She and I haven’t spoken in years.” She flinched at the unintentional level of honesty in those words, so she clarified, “Not since the night she arrived in Geneighva.”
Another awkward pause, which Pinkie Pie broke again. “The last time I talked to her was a few days after Strawberry Rhubarb was born.” She stared at them, increasingly alarmed. “But that was in July, like, almost a year ago. That can’t have been it, can it?”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “She and I nerded out over the last Daring Do book, uh, last September, I think.” She chuckled. “She kept going on about how the different translations in, uh…” She caught the look on Sunset’s face. “In, uh, yeah. September.”
Silence descended once more. Sunset looked around at them, then said in a flat voice, “So, that’s your answer, Pinkie Pie. Eight months ago.”
Rarity cleared her throat. “Well, she is doing very important work for HORN, still, right? That’s got to take a lot out of her.”
Sunset simply shrugged, thoroughly unwilling to maintain the facade that she wanted this conversation to continue.
Pinkie Pie nodded. “Okay, then. I just miss her voice sometimes, is all.”
Applejack snorted. “Well, it ain’t like she’s dead. Give her a call sometime!”
“I have.” Pinkie Pie said in a small voice.
“Let me guess,” said Sunset, not unkindly. “Straight to a full voicemail box?”
Pinkie Pie nodded again. “Yep.”
Sunset took a deep breath. Twilight had always been terrible at keeping her voicemail cleaned out. It was one of her more endearingly frustrating qualities, wanting to hang on to snippets of her friends’ voices as though they were memories she didn’t want to lose. It was certainly something Sunset could sympathize with, were she still capable of sympathy for Twilight.
It was a long time before anyone spoke. Rarity received another text, to which she typed furiously in response.
“Yeesh,” Rainbow Dash finally said, “talk about a buzzkill.”
Sunset gave her a weak smile. “No reason we can’t keep working on that buzz, right?”
Applejack returned the smile in kind. “No can do, sugar. We’ve got chores in the mornin’.”
Rainbow Dash merely grunted.
Rarity looked up from her phone. “I’d love to, darling, but I’m afraid I can’t. My flight back to Manehattan leaves at six o’clock sharp tomorrow morning.”
Out of force of habit, Sunset looked to Pinkie Pie
She simply rubbed her belly with a sheepish grin. “I mean…”
Sunset chuckled, then, to hide her sudden welling tears, she wrapped Pinkie Pie in a hug. One by one, she felt her friends throw their arms around them as well. She discreetly rubbed away the moisture in her eyes with a free hand, then let go. “Well, I best get to the bus station. Same time next year?”
There was a chorus of agreement, and with that, they bid each other farewell, and went their separate ways.
Sunset stared into the empty void of her studio apartment ceiling. It had been an hour since she’d crawled through the door, and removing her pants had taken her last reserves of motivation. Now her mind endlessly whirled, ever downward into a bitter pit of resentment.
It didn’t help that it was so very quiet. Nor did it help that she was sobering up, with a hangover already draping itself over her exhausted form.
Her friends all lived such rich, full lives compared to her. The last decade of her life had been spent shuffling from one failed tech co-op to another, and all she had to show for it now was a broken bike and a shitty downtown apartment.
It had started with Twilight. She was the first domino to fall. There were a number of excellent reasons why she hadn’t come to celebrate the anniversary of their graduation these past few years. Sunset counted herself among them.
Now, it was Fluttershy. An idle fluke? Or a precedent for future excuses? Sunset immediately felt ashamed of herself for thinking so poorly of a friend as dear as Fluttershy, and a wave of guilt washed her further down the spiral, deeper and darker.
One by one her friends would fall away as their own lives claimed them. Who would be next? Rarity, probably - she’d been absent most of the night, dealing with one crisis or another through her phone, and clearly had one foot out the door already. Perhaps Applejack and Rainbow Dash would get a divorce, and that would be the end of seeing at least one of them, if not both. Perhaps Pinkie Pie would just keep cranking out children until there were too many to handle by one beleaguered man.
Perhaps Sunset would be the one to leave, so that she wouldn’t be the one who was left behind.
Perhaps she would die, damned to become naught but dust, forgotten, forever.
Perhaps she should get up and brush her damn teeth.
Suddenly, the void was lit by a lavender glow, and a rattling noise came from her bookshelf. Sunset groaned as she sat up, then sprang to her feet as she realized what it was.
There, coated with a thick layer of dust, shuddered the glowing two-way journal she shared with Princess Twilight.
It had been so, so long since Sunset had written to Princess Twilight. Or had Princess Twilight been the last to write her? She honestly couldn’t remember. She couldn’t even remember when she had last thought about her, or thought about Equestria in general for that matter.
Next to the book, also coated with dust, sat a lone picture frame. Eight smiling teenage faces beamed at her in the wan glow.
Guilt piled on top of guilt as Sunset pulled the tome free. She wiped off the cover with her shirt, then, with no small amount of trepidation, cracked it open.
Dear Sunset Shimmer,
Hey, it’s been a while! Things have finally calmed down here in Equestria, at least for the time being. Who knew diplomatically staving off international catastrophe could be such a pain in the neck, am I right?
I’m sorry it’s been a few years since I’ve written you. I guess in the chaos of moving the capital city to a new castle, this book got misplaced. A lot has happened on this end, but, well, that can wait.
Anyways, what’s new with you? How’s my counterpart doing? How are the rest of the girls? Tell me everything!
Sunset stared at the page, numb. After a quiet minute, she closed the book and returned it to the shelf. She crawled into bed, where she failed to do anything more than dampen her pillow with silent tears.
But now I've forgotten all of that
And I'm living each day like I'm being chased by something
Even if I look back (In the forgotten photo album)
I can't go back to those times (Photos of myself doing stupid things)
Anymore (Laughing with friends)
The growing blues, always good for a kick in the gut. I think you did a pretty good job portraying that feeling of melancholy one gets when you feel life is leaving you behind and you don't know how to cach up. The girls all feel in-character, as do the changes they've had in their lives. Even Sunset.
My only real complain is that, even though we've witnessed her slow descent into deppression, the final stretch seems like a rush to a bittersweet ending. I would have bought it if Twilight writing had been the final straw which finally sent her over the edge, but the story ends just under forty words after that.
Besides, there's no overall message other than "people tend to drift apart as they grow", and while it's a valid message, you don't take it further than that. You didn't go as deep in Sunset's feelings as I thought you would, nor is there more thought put into her nebulous, grey future. I feel it comes short of giving a better rounded ending, but the lead up to that is fantastic. A bit of work would make it shine much more.
And I'm living each day like I'm being chased by something
Even if I look back (In the forgotten photo album)
I can't go back to those times (Photos of myself doing stupid things)
Anymore (Laughing with friends)
The growing blues, always good for a kick in the gut. I think you did a pretty good job portraying that feeling of melancholy one gets when you feel life is leaving you behind and you don't know how to cach up. The girls all feel in-character, as do the changes they've had in their lives. Even Sunset.
My only real complain is that, even though we've witnessed her slow descent into deppression, the final stretch seems like a rush to a bittersweet ending. I would have bought it if Twilight writing had been the final straw which finally sent her over the edge, but the story ends just under forty words after that.
Besides, there's no overall message other than "people tend to drift apart as they grow", and while it's a valid message, you don't take it further than that. You didn't go as deep in Sunset's feelings as I thought you would, nor is there more thought put into her nebulous, grey future. I feel it comes short of giving a better rounded ending, but the lead up to that is fantastic. A bit of work would make it shine much more.
The other day I was trying to come up with a word that I had forgotten. It's a unique word that's used to describe someone who's quiet yet effective. I was picturing a man in a suit—he speaks quietly, he always asks what other people are thinking, and only talks about himself if asked, and even then he doesn't dwell on what's only really important to him. But at the same time, it's not like he's hiding anything. He just says what he needs to say in as few words as possible, and moves on.
I was telling my friends it was like reserved, or soft-spoken, or something, but not those. Even thesaurus.com had no answers for me.
As I was reading this story, though, I remembered what it was. Understated. This story is great at being understated. But I should be clear: sometimes it's really not.
I can tell this comes from a real place for you. Or at least I assume it does. But then, this is a feeling everybody feels in life, and it's powerful. Everybody's been dragged away from their friends by the thoughts of:
How much longer will this last?
What the hell am I doing with my life?
Have they grown up without me?
Sunset's anxiety at the bar is so relatable it hurts. But whenever the narrator tells us exactly why Sunset is worried about her friends leaving (It was too early for that kind of talk. It still felt like she’d only just arrived, and to lose her friends again so soon–), the story shows its whole hand to me. If you'll allow me to stretch the metaphor, it's like playing poker with a really good player, and right when I'm thinking, "I'll bet this guy has a full house based on how he's playing," he winks and shows me his full house. I mean, I'm glad I'm right, but it's less exciting now.
But the greater majority of the story felt just subtle enough to me. As opposed to the kick to the gut that >>Zaid Val'Roa mentioned, I'm feeling more of a weight in my gut that's being added to and added to as Sunset's night draws to a close, and it finally drops when she follows through on her decision to be the next domino to fall.
And I was about to complain that Sunset didn't feel very well fleshed out to me. But then I realized it was because of how much character is added to the Mane... Four. And that fits the story. The feeling that everyone else is living more interesting lives than her.
I kind of wish this were an original story, honestly. A group of women who graduated high school together at their latest annual reunion, telling tall tales that are more new to me than AJ having chores on a farm. And then there's that one of them who's had a terrible thought that she cant let go of. And the rest of the night she's just having it reinforced. And all she can think, is when will the next domino fall, and will it be me?
Thanks, Author! Both for writing and helping me remember understated. What a great fuckin' word. Good luck in the contest!
I was telling my friends it was like reserved, or soft-spoken, or something, but not those. Even thesaurus.com had no answers for me.
As I was reading this story, though, I remembered what it was. Understated. This story is great at being understated. But I should be clear: sometimes it's really not.
I can tell this comes from a real place for you. Or at least I assume it does. But then, this is a feeling everybody feels in life, and it's powerful. Everybody's been dragged away from their friends by the thoughts of:
How much longer will this last?
What the hell am I doing with my life?
Have they grown up without me?
Sunset's anxiety at the bar is so relatable it hurts. But whenever the narrator tells us exactly why Sunset is worried about her friends leaving (It was too early for that kind of talk. It still felt like she’d only just arrived, and to lose her friends again so soon–), the story shows its whole hand to me. If you'll allow me to stretch the metaphor, it's like playing poker with a really good player, and right when I'm thinking, "I'll bet this guy has a full house based on how he's playing," he winks and shows me his full house. I mean, I'm glad I'm right, but it's less exciting now.
But the greater majority of the story felt just subtle enough to me. As opposed to the kick to the gut that >>Zaid Val'Roa mentioned, I'm feeling more of a weight in my gut that's being added to and added to as Sunset's night draws to a close, and it finally drops when she follows through on her decision to be the next domino to fall.
And I was about to complain that Sunset didn't feel very well fleshed out to me. But then I realized it was because of how much character is added to the Mane... Four. And that fits the story. The feeling that everyone else is living more interesting lives than her.
I kind of wish this were an original story, honestly. A group of women who graduated high school together at their latest annual reunion, telling tall tales that are more new to me than AJ having chores on a farm. And then there's that one of them who's had a terrible thought that she cant let go of. And the rest of the night she's just having it reinforced. And all she can think, is when will the next domino fall, and will it be me?
Thanks, Author! Both for writing and helping me remember understated. What a great fuckin' word. Good luck in the contest!
Hmm, a reunion episode?
The girls all seem... I guess about right. "Future versions" are always hard to judge, as people can change quite a bit, so "off character" doesn't mean the same thing.
Definitely a lot of melancholy here, despite some of the more upbeat lines. I'm wondering where the hook comes in.
“She’s not even thirty!” Okay, now we finally got at least some better sense of how far in the future this is. I wasn't sure if they were 25 or 50 until this point, which made it hard to picture some of this.
"were she still capable of sympathy for Twilight." Is that what's been eating at Sunset this whole time? That's a really late reveal.
If she could take the bus, why is it she only seems the others once a year? I get some are out of town, but... it seems like not THAT far away.
And she puts the book back?
I wanted to like this story. I really did. A glimpse into a "normal" future of friends drifting apart and stuff... that part is well written. But the story relies too much on things we didn't see. What happened between Sunset and Twilight (assuming SciTwi)? What's with none of them wearing the geodes? These are seeming plot hooks set up as important, then given no resolution.
The ending is also... Well, what should've been a moment of brightness... Princess Twilight, at least, is reaching out, and obviously has the same trouble keeping in touch... Instead, Sunset ignores that? It seemed to almost literally be an answer to her prayers, and she ignores it. I get that this is a choice the author made, to end on something depressing, but it just stretches things too far. That doesn't feel like Sunset to do that, even if she is a bit older and more depressed. I would, of course, have loved to see WHY she doesn't answer, but nope.
Overall, this flowed nicely, and hit some emotional notes, but the teasing lack of information left me feeling adrift by the end, and so it didn't connect nearly as strong as it might have.
The girls all seem... I guess about right. "Future versions" are always hard to judge, as people can change quite a bit, so "off character" doesn't mean the same thing.
Definitely a lot of melancholy here, despite some of the more upbeat lines. I'm wondering where the hook comes in.
“She’s not even thirty!” Okay, now we finally got at least some better sense of how far in the future this is. I wasn't sure if they were 25 or 50 until this point, which made it hard to picture some of this.
"were she still capable of sympathy for Twilight." Is that what's been eating at Sunset this whole time? That's a really late reveal.
If she could take the bus, why is it she only seems the others once a year? I get some are out of town, but... it seems like not THAT far away.
And she puts the book back?
I wanted to like this story. I really did. A glimpse into a "normal" future of friends drifting apart and stuff... that part is well written. But the story relies too much on things we didn't see. What happened between Sunset and Twilight (assuming SciTwi)? What's with none of them wearing the geodes? These are seeming plot hooks set up as important, then given no resolution.
The ending is also... Well, what should've been a moment of brightness... Princess Twilight, at least, is reaching out, and obviously has the same trouble keeping in touch... Instead, Sunset ignores that? It seemed to almost literally be an answer to her prayers, and she ignores it. I get that this is a choice the author made, to end on something depressing, but it just stretches things too far. That doesn't feel like Sunset to do that, even if she is a bit older and more depressed. I would, of course, have loved to see WHY she doesn't answer, but nope.
Overall, this flowed nicely, and hit some emotional notes, but the teasing lack of information left me feeling adrift by the end, and so it didn't connect nearly as strong as it might have.
Genre: Hello Darkness My Old Friend
Thoughts: I like this for being a mood piece. There's an early and prevailing theme of things wearing out and/or falling apart, and we just keep getting more of that throughout. (Related minor but distracting issue: calling the place “Tarnished Bit” makes me think we're in Equestria until hands etc. start appearing, because bits=Equestrian money.) I like the setup with the drinks and what it says about each of them. And I think the characterization of everyone stays really strong throughout.
Bonus points for cute and well-implemented pregnant Pinkie Pie. Though Author, who is this “Joe D.” who Pinkie is so enamored with? I think you must have misspelled “Cheese Sandwich.” :-p
Ok, so this ends on a down note. I'm mostly okay with that, though it does make the whole thing less satisfying from a plot progression perspective. As a fan, I definitely want to see Sunset find some kind of hope, and the journal thing seems like the perfect opportunity. Having her reject it (at least temporarily) drives home her despair and lets this resolve as a sadfic. Maybe what's missing, though, is a better sense of what Twiggy’s message might mean for her long-term. Sure she's sad now, but would she be willing to respond or seek help later?
Right now her response is purely numb, and that robs the moment of impact, because I can't get a sense of what it means. Like to consider an alternative example, if she'd just looked at the (silent) journal and lamented not hearing back for a long time, that would reinforce her feelings of despair and abandonment.
I hate to ding the rating on an otherwise well-crafted story, but I do think that lack of clarity at the end hurts this one a fair bit, even though I appreciate the overall mood it creates.
Tier: Almost There
Thoughts: I like this for being a mood piece. There's an early and prevailing theme of things wearing out and/or falling apart, and we just keep getting more of that throughout. (Related minor but distracting issue: calling the place “Tarnished Bit” makes me think we're in Equestria until hands etc. start appearing, because bits=Equestrian money.) I like the setup with the drinks and what it says about each of them. And I think the characterization of everyone stays really strong throughout.
Bonus points for cute and well-implemented pregnant Pinkie Pie. Though Author, who is this “Joe D.” who Pinkie is so enamored with? I think you must have misspelled “Cheese Sandwich.” :-p
Ok, so this ends on a down note. I'm mostly okay with that, though it does make the whole thing less satisfying from a plot progression perspective. As a fan, I definitely want to see Sunset find some kind of hope, and the journal thing seems like the perfect opportunity. Having her reject it (at least temporarily) drives home her despair and lets this resolve as a sadfic. Maybe what's missing, though, is a better sense of what Twiggy’s message might mean for her long-term. Sure she's sad now, but would she be willing to respond or seek help later?
Right now her response is purely numb, and that robs the moment of impact, because I can't get a sense of what it means. Like to consider an alternative example, if she'd just looked at the (silent) journal and lamented not hearing back for a long time, that would reinforce her feelings of despair and abandonment.
I hate to ding the rating on an otherwise well-crafted story, but I do think that lack of clarity at the end hurts this one a fair bit, even though I appreciate the overall mood it creates.
Tier: Almost There
Jesus fucking Christ, dude. I need a hug after reading that.
I think this is really good. It's second on my ballot right now. Be proud of yourself. Besides some issues with the way Princess Twilight's integrated into the story, and the way that it ends, I feel like it's a pretty good exploration of the thoughts and feelings that come with aging -- and how inevitable it is that friends, no matter how close, will drift apart.
Twilight's inclusion feels... iffy. I don't think she'd just stop talking to Sunset for years on end; if something ever happened to the journal, then she'd reach out to Sunset some other way. It's out of character for her to just leave Sunnybun hanging like that. I actually feel like it's more plausible that Sunset would have stopped talking to her, either because they fell out, or because Sunset was too depressed to keep reaching out.
Further: Including Twilight at the end opens the possibility that things could improve for Sunset. Sunset rejecting Twilight's offer for a dialogue makes sense, given how depressed she is, but it seems like the next logical step is to have Twilight seek her out directly.
If you want to continue this story, and take it to a somewhat brighter place (I mean, it's a downer, but it's a good downer), then that would be my suggestion. Use Twilight more than you currently do.
I think this is really good. It's second on my ballot right now. Be proud of yourself. Besides some issues with the way Princess Twilight's integrated into the story, and the way that it ends, I feel like it's a pretty good exploration of the thoughts and feelings that come with aging -- and how inevitable it is that friends, no matter how close, will drift apart.
Twilight's inclusion feels... iffy. I don't think she'd just stop talking to Sunset for years on end; if something ever happened to the journal, then she'd reach out to Sunset some other way. It's out of character for her to just leave Sunnybun hanging like that. I actually feel like it's more plausible that Sunset would have stopped talking to her, either because they fell out, or because Sunset was too depressed to keep reaching out.
Further: Including Twilight at the end opens the possibility that things could improve for Sunset. Sunset rejecting Twilight's offer for a dialogue makes sense, given how depressed she is, but it seems like the next logical step is to have Twilight seek her out directly.
If you want to continue this story, and take it to a somewhat brighter place (I mean, it's a downer, but it's a good downer), then that would be my suggestion. Use Twilight more than you currently do.
