Alright, alright! Settle down, everypony. I understand that many of you are upset. I’ve heard your complaints and I’ve read your letters, even the letters that contained anthrax or any number of deadly contact poisons. I think some other princesses would be upset by this, since technically it is attempted murder and also probably treason. Maybe even most other princesses. But not me. I take it as a sign of just how engaged the ponies of Ponyville are with their local government!

I mean, think about it. How many towns are there in Equestria that would resort to assasination over disagreement about a civic construction project? Not many! That’s real town spirit. You don’t see that much anymore.

That said, let’s talk about the Ponyville Dam.

I will be the first to admit, mistakes were made. While I think the dam is an excellent project and that it will provide great value to Ponyville over the coming decades, I could have communicated its benefits more clearly. The number of angry or possibly armed ponies in this room makes that clear that expectations were set too high. Ponies are disappointed. I see that now, and accept that some of this could have been avoided if I’d acted differently.

For instance, when I ran that article in Stallions Quarterly that hydroelectric power “gets mares totally wet,” I could have clarified that I was referring to the recreational water park built across the reservoir.

A water park that, I would note, gives Ponyville access to much needed entertainment options that will support it as it grows from a small to a mid-size town over the next five years.

I’m sure you all understand that politics is a delicate game. It’s not just about setting good government policy. I love policy. I love talking about policy. Sometimes I think that Equestria would be better if ponies who love policy were given direct control over local governments instead of being hampered by local government rights. But I digress.

The point is that policy alone doesn’t win referendums. You have to sell your idea to the people. And when building up expectations, sometimes it’s hard to know precisely where to draw that delicate line.

For example, in meeting with business leaders across Ponyville, I was careful to highlight the dam’s economic benefits. I think we can all agree this is a perfectly reasonable thing any pony in my situation would have done. But in hindsight, I could have talked about GDP growth, instead of winking and saying that maybe one particular firm would get a lucrative government contract if they could drive some votes my way.

Though I will emphasize that one particular firm did, after an open and unbiased bidding process. They aren’t based in Ponyville but they did a great job.
I notice that many of you are from the southern half of Ponyville. I understand there were no recording devices present at my meeting with the South Ponyville Homeowners Association, and so I do not recall precisely what I said. But if any of you did interpret my discussion of the dam’s benefits as a promise that it would wash away and destroy your arch-rivals in North Ponyville, I am sorry. I should also inform you that electrical death rays are not real.

Though if they were, the dam could easily power them, as it produces over one hundred megawatts of clean, environmentally sustainable baseline power.

Some ponies have also criticized my choice to use unconventional forms of political advertising. I remind you that the night sky is Luna’s personal demesne, and she can arrange it however she likes. I will also point out that I never said: “Vote for the dam or you’ll be devoured by timberwolves.” Ponyville’s astrologer Star Sign did.

I will be the first to urge him to apologize.

Some of you will not be satisfied by these answers. In the wake of any disappointing event, it is natural for ponies to ask questions. “Can we stop this from happening again?” “Was the dam really a good investment?” “Is Twilight nobility, and thus exempt from imprisonment for fraud?” The answer to all of these questions is yes, particularly since I can shoot lasers.

Still, I hope you will find forgiveness in your hearts. Anger, however justified it may seem, only holds us back and prevents us from seeing the good things all around us.

Like the new salmon migration spillway that ensures the dam doesn’t disrupt the local ecology.