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Long Story Short · Original Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
Show rules for this event
Doggy Style
The contents of this story are no longer available
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#1 · 3
· · >>AndrewRogue
I can only assume Hunter was immediately mauled off-screen, but hey, at least he embraced his inner furry.
#2 · 2
· · >>AndrewRogue
Pretty much underwhelming. I mean, as Quill put it, the premise is good, but you do nothing with it.

The fic just drags on about the guy being stumped and staggered and the girl spitting out feeble excuses. It comes across to me as “I got this idea, I don’t know what to do with it, so I’ll just get away by padding a lot and shoving a halfhearted joke at the end.”

That’s a pity, because at least you could have ended like this:

“He clasped his GF in his arms so tightly he didn’t even move when she bit his head off.”

Wasted material.
#3 · 2
· · >>AndrewRogue
A short sharp drama? Maybe it's because I've only had jokefics so far, but this went over pretty well for me. I feel like you lost the opportunity to make a 'bitch' joke somewhere (although maybe that wouldn't have fit the mood) and I'd have liked to see a few more personal points instead of general worldbuilding stuff, but on the whole, I liked it.
#4 · 3
· · >>AndrewRogue
I thought the character voicing and dialogue was strong in this one! It wraps up too neatly with Hunter suddenly feeling guilty just because Ylva starts doing the werewolf equivalent of crying (come on Ylva, what did you think would happen?), but that's my only quibble with this and a pretty minor one tbh.
#5 · 1
· · >>AndrewRogue
A cute little dramedy with some great character and voicing.

Unfortunately, said character and voicing basically eats up the entire word count and really interferes with getting any real detail out of things. Neat ideas are hinted at and the conflict is solid, but there ends up being no room to actually do anything with them. The emotional arc is only barely there and the wrap up is a little too pat for what -is- still a big deal. I mean, even if he still loves her, the matter of sexual attraction and a whole magical world still exists.

Its a simple ending, which is good for the heart, but not necessarily for the brain.

Also be careful with this sort of thing. I don't think the metaphor is too much intended here (and the situation has enough differences to be a bit disconnected), but this has some unfortunate overlap with the ol' trans individual sleeps with someone without actually talking to them about it trope. Just something to watch for, since that is bad territory.

Really consider your voicing choices in minifics. You have limited words. Using rambly characters is cute and stalled dialogue is fitting, but you have a hard word limit you're working with, and that stuff is ultimately fluff. You have to be willing to make hard choices in minis, and sometimes that is going to be avoiding particular characterizations.
#6 · 3
· · >>AndrewRogue
The "nerd" aspect is pushed too hard, I feel.
#7 · 2
· · >>AndrewRogue
Well, that was cuter than what the title implied.

To put my serious face on, I actually thought this worked for the most part. The dialogue really reflects on how awkward of a situation this is, and it helped me feel bad for both parties in this situation. The humor was also decent enough that I could buy the way the story ended. But most of all, I thought both characters were sweet enough to make this story have more emotional resonance than the situation should by all logic provide. Turns out having people amicably resolve their problems can still be interesting to read!

But with that in mind, the conflict often overwhelms the characters themselves at many points. Granted, discovering your girlfriend is a creature of lore is a big deal, but that doesn’t mean characterization should be skimped upon. Telling us character attributes (like the protagonist’s “nerdery” or Ylva’s gaming obsession) doesn’t work as well as showing them. This lack of characterization, along with the story’s relatively positive ending, makes the story feel somewhat inconsequential. A minor inconvenience happens, then they get over it. Realistic, to be sure, but not incredibly interesting without said lycanthropy.

I liked this story, but it needs stronger characters and narrative if it’s to entirely work. But I definitely think you’re on the right track.

P.S. Is it just me, or does this story seem like it was inspired by that episode of Johnny Bravo where Johnny dates a werewolf?
#8 · 3
·
Congrats to everyone, particularly our Gold and Silver winners!

Well, it’s been about a year since I accidentally stumbled over the Writeoff via… I don’t even remember. Blog post from Horizon, maybe? Something like that.

Anyway, it has been about a year, so I figured since we’re doing the whole new year thing, I might as well do a super special ultra unique post mortem. Not just this round, but my last year (and some change) in the Writeoff thus far.

But let’s start with this round, since that’s easy.

Doggy Style

I forget where or why I even came up with the idea. Probably because Catherine remake was announced so waking up next to something unexpected was on my mind, and I felt doing a supernatural werewolf route was far enough removed from the real world versions that it would be safe.

Title was originally my working title and I decided I wasn’t going to come up with anything better, so after checking with a friend, I decided to leave it in place. Otherwise the fic is more or less what it seems, just a cute little dramedy piece. Long story short, the supernatural exists. You just found out in the most awkward way possible. What do?

Speaking of, I actually had to revise a tiny bit after checking with Roger about whether a line pushed the boundaries of Writeoff T. It did, which is a shame, because it was a much punchier line. *shakes first*

Anyway, I did consider the joke ending possibilities, but eh. It was 2017, and my belief on the year was we needed more reminders of just be good to each other, love is love, and there’s a bright light at the end of the tunnel that isn’t a train. Then again, that’s generally my belief. But really, that’s always my belief. S’part of why I like pones. Sometimes it is good to be reminded of those classic lessons.

Plus it is way more amusing to me when it involves werewolves.

>>Zaid Val'Roa
Definitively. But hey, he embraced his outer furry too!

>>Monokeras
This is sorta what I was talking about the other day. Wasted material is a pretty hackle raising thing to say, because… well. Saying something is a waste is hugely insulting. :p Kinda the same for the second paragraph. I mean, it isn’t unreasonable to claim you think that, but at the same time, it turns into “Well, I did know what I was doing with it. Exactly what I put on the page. The point was that it would be a stammery and excusey and awkward conversation.” That’s obviously a fair thing to criticize (as noted in my own review even that my voicing choice was probably bad for a mini), but yeah, the phrasing could functionally use some work IMO.

Or not, I dunno. Like I said, I’m cranky lately.

>>Not_A_Hat
I thought about it, but was kinda unsure about it. I go back and forth on the use of bitch jokes in situations like this. Probably still should have done it to better portray that Ylva just works with bad jokes in general (“...found she was a real, literal bitch” or something).

And yeah, I can see it. Voice choice cause all sorts of problems.

>>Astrarian
To be fair, she thought she could control her shape in general. Soft implied, but I was working more off Discworld werewolves than normal ones.

>>AndrewRogue
I hate writing fake reviews.

>>Dubs_Rewatcher
I was gonna ask about this one, but on a reread I saw what you mean. I short-hand and long-hand it a lot. Not sure why I didn’t catch that.

>>libertydude
*nods* Debating direct and implied characterization is a real bitch sometimes.

Never watched much Johnny Bravo as I didn’t have Cartoon Network at home when I was a kid. =( That clip made me laugh though and I wish I had been inspired by that.

A Year (and some change) in the Writeoff

Pffft. This has been a long year. I joined the Writeoff because I am an awful person and not great at doing things without external motivation, and competitive timed writing is the sort of thing that allows me to get stuff done. Plus prompt driven material has forced me to reach outside my prebuilt rolodex of ideas (though not necessarily my comfort zones) and start getting used to generating new ideas.

All told, I haven’t leaned on my idea rolodex -too- often in the Writeoff, and that’s pretty cool.

I’ve met some interesting people and gotten to know quite a few of you a lot better. I’ve wrestled with what the Writeoff is on the scale of competition vs workshop and where. I’ve had my little spats, caused my own fair share of little dramas, and constantly wobbled on the see-saw of “Do I fit well in this group or should I pack it in?” and “Is this working for me?” I still dunno the answers to those questions, but I guess I’m still here. Maybe I’ll drop out of pony rounds to focus on my original work this year. I don’t know. Don’t want to. But argh. Welcome to the insecure mindscape of Andrew, eh?

Still, on the whole, I’d say y’all have been quite good for me. Hopefully I’ve been somewhat good for some of you too.

So, actual shit I’ve done.

I’ve written 22 entries since I joined back on October 10, 2016 (one for every single goddamn round). So that’s about 52K words, or one NaNoWriMo worth of writing. Of those, 5 have medaled (2 Gold, 1 Silver, 2 Bronze) and I’ve had a bizarre level of consistency in that only pony shorts or original minis have medaled for me. Still, consistency has its rewards, putting me at 3rd on the Original scoreboard and 4th (fuck you, Poshy >:|) on the Pony scoreboard, with an average fic placement of 63%.

Woo. Even better, several of these stories are things I think I’ll polish up or I’ll reuse the core idea from for something.

Oh, right, speaking of consistency, I may not be using rolodex ideas, but I definitely have what we might call motifs in my writing? What sort of motifs? Well…

TaviScratch: 6 Stories
Kemonomimi/Furry/Monster Girl: 6 Stories
Nerdism/Gaming: 8 Stories
Romance/Romantic Relationships: 11 Stories
Fantasy: 9 Stories (depending on how you count)
Gender Bending: 4 Stories

No wonder Cass guesses me every single fucking round.

I definitely feel like i’ve improved now that I’m writing far more regularly than I used to, so that’s cool. Not sure my critical skills have developed much. While I’ve posted 573 times since I started in Writeoff (approximately 26 times per round, which is a lot given I don’t bullshit that much), my ability to critique helpfully feels like it was about where it started. Probably need to work on that.

Breadth vs depth is a hard battle, and honestly commenting is one of the things that has really driven me up the wall in the Writeoff since I feel obligated to treat it like a workshop, but the timeframe we have is not super conducive towards it, especially as a working father. How will I deal with this? Still dunno.

So, what do think of my last year of writing?

How about some super snarky descriptions, followed by my special award winners?

IN ORDER

Music After Midnight: Obligatory writing sucks story is an excellent way to introduce myself to the Writeoff. This trend of totally original concepts will continue to serve me well.

Open Invitation: Somewhat better than Sonic.exe. Probably.

An Advanced Lesson in Friendship: I remain baffled no one else actually did the direct story type for the prompt. Another example of my deep and intense love affair with totally original story concepts.

The Flame, the Fox, and the Frozen Blade: Derpy fantasy adventure fiction at its derpiest. There’s a much better story in here, probably.

The Destiny Trap: Slightly less derpy adventure fiction. When in doubt, ship it. It always works out. God I peaked early.

Heeding the Siren’s Call: It is riddled with flaws, but frankly I still think this is one of the better things I’ve written. Shouldn’t have copped out and just went with bad end when I lacked the space to do good end. Probably would have medaled. >:|

A Riveting (If Abridged) Tale of Galactic Conquest: I have no idea what the fuck I was thinking with this one.

Inevitability: I almost wish I’d just skipped this round. Or hadn’t been sick, I guess. Hot garbage at pretty much every level, though the lack of catching my high degree of thievery was surprising.

Ars Vivendi: Memento Mori: I wrote a decent TaviScratch fic. Go me. Still have not been able to bring myself to finish editing or publish it. I am literally the worst.

Off the Top: Mini round medals are mysterious. I blame fanservice.

The Honest Truth: My ship tastes are p. good.

A Distinct Lack of Regret: Seriously, what happened with the votes in Finals? Y’all suck. >:|

Tales from Another Time: A Cantata Mezzo Voce: Reminder for all you aspiring Writeoff folks - if you’re running out of time, just write something vaguely shaped like an ending and pretend it was your plan all along. It works.

Blind Dating in a World Gone Mad: Fox- and wolfgirls have largely squeezed into the space that catgirls used to fill in my heart, but when in doubt, always go back to the tried and true. At the very least, you’ll like your story. And maybe other people will too. ...fuck, I still need to paint my Seraphon.

Undirected Action: I have nothing to say about this story, so I will instead reiterate that I wish for the eyes of Haze and Sharpspark to be damned. Repeatedly.

The Sad Life of a Solitary Mage: It really is basically Ella Enchanted, just with gender bending and way more implied inappropriateness.

The Pink Beneath the Gray: I should actually write the shipfic I meant to write instead of this. Clear indicator that my method of never outlining is the best.

One Must First Step Into the Breach: He turns into a catgirl superhero. Bam. Let’s add this one to the numbers above.

What it is to be Haunted: Ghost sex probably would have better filled in the exposition spot, I bet.

A Heart Filled by Storms: Cass-senpai reviewed my story <3.

The Bonds You Choose, and Those You Leave Behind: The wounds are still too fresh.

Doggy Style: I have problems.

AWARDS

TOP STORY: A Distinct Lack of Regret
BEST SHIPPING: Ars Vivendi: Memento Mori
BIGGEST FAILURE: Inevitability
MOST QUESTIONABLE: Sad Life of a Solitary Mage
MOST SURPRISING FINISH: Blind Dating in a World Gone Mad
MOST DISAPPOINTING FINISH: Heeding the Siren’s Call
LEAST COMPLETE: Tales From Another Time: A Cantata Mezzo Voce

Now I’m sure you’re all thinking, “I sure enjoy Andrew talking about himself forever, but I do wonder what he thinks of my stuff.”

Well, given there were 22 goddamn rounds that I’m counting in the last year, I can’t cover you all individually, so I figure hey, how about I give out some special awards to other fics from the year? I’m mostly focusing on medalists because there are a lot of fics to remember.

GOLDIEST GOLD: The Color of Stars
BEST NON-STANDARD PROSE: Pinkamena’s Wake
SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENTS IN HORROR: The Archtypist
FIC I FEEL WORST ABOUT BEATING: The Eye That Floats Unblinking in Sunset Shimmer’s Kitchen
GOLDIEST SILVER: The Twilight Council
BEST TITLE: The Eye That Floats Unblinking in Sunset Shimmer’s Kitchen
GOLDIEST BRONZE: Moon Bright
I NEED TO GIVE AN AWARD TO SOMETHING FROM AN ORIGINAL ROUND: The Coup
I NEED TO GIVE AN AWARD TO SOMETHING FROM AN ORIGINAL ROUND TWO, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: Miskatonic Electronics

(Seriously bad luck on the Originals getting robbed out of all my awards)

So yeah. Fun year. Or not. I dunno. You all decide.

Happy 2018 and may the writing continue to happen and be good, eh?