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The Beautiful Deity
Starlight Glimmer closed her eyes and followed Sunset Shimmer into the portal. She felt her entire body move into an entire separate realm of existence, stretching her and—
Plopping her down in the middle of nowhere.
Of all the places she had expected to see, it had not been an ethereal plane with an Alicorn Rarity standing in the middle of it.
“Hello Starlight, darling! It’s so nice to see you!”
Starlight stared at Rarity. She was wearing a gorgeous lilac dress that seemed to swirl like star dust all around her. It somehow matched the universe of stars and smoke around them perfectly. But it almost felt like the dress had been designed to match the ethereal plane and not the other way around.
“Uhh…” said Starlight Glimmer. “I take it this isn’t the human world?”
“No, not yet,” said Rarity, her amethyst mane twinkling and somehow ebbing and flowing like water. “But I know you’re anxious to get there, so let me get started!”
“Uhh…” said Starlight again. She knew she ought to have a million questions, but seeing Rarity as an Alicorn had thrown her so completely for a loop that her brain had not even begun processing what to ask. This was not helped any when suddenly her body began shifting and contorting in awkward ways.
“What’s happening to me!?” shouted Starlight.
“Sorry, this takes a bit of prodding, darling. Not to worry though, I’ll have you looking like a beautiful human version of yourself soon.”
Starlight couldn’t exactly feel what was happening to her. It was as if her entire body had been numbed. She knew something was happening to her hooves, torso and everything in between. Only Rarity’s mutterings every so often like: “No… that nose isn’t nearly cute enough,” made Starlight aware that anything was happening at all.
“And done!” said Rarity.
“Done?” said Starlight.
“With phase one, I mean,” said Rarity. "Now comes the best part, CLOTHES!”
“Clothes?” said Starlight.
“Well of course, interdimensional travelers deserve to look their best!”
Rarity brought out a dazzling array of outfits, shifting her eyes back and forth between the clothes and Starlight.
Starlight's brain finally caught up enough to ask a question: “How did you even get here?”
“Peer pressure,” said Rarity without skipping a beat.
“Wha—“ Starlight barely uttered before Rarity’s horn glowed and her entire body was encased in fabric.
“Okay, look. You started it,” said Rarity, still teleporting clothes onto Starlight. “There was this crazy thing that you made happen where time compressed all at once into a single moment and you became a Goddess of Time. And then Twilight became the Goddess of Knowledge, and then Fluttershy became a God of Harmony, and you know Discord was already a God of Chaos, and then Spike’s debacle where he became a God of Death. Basically everypony was becoming Gods and I wasn’t about to abandon my friends—no matter how strange their new hobby of collecting godlike power was. Oh! That hat looks good—just need to figure out the outfit that will go with it.
“Well anyway, I caved to peer pressure and due to time compression shenanigans, I am—and have somehow always been—the Goddess of Space,” said Rarity, who's horn flashed and Starlight felt herself wearing what must have been the tenth outfit in the last thirty seconds. “Really, there's not much for me to do besides monitor the constant expansion of the multiverse. Space will be rather boring until Spike kills the last star and commences the end and rebirth of all things. Until then, I spend most of my time making outfits for interdimensional travelers to worlds that have a nudity taboo.”
“I— wha…?” said Starlight.
“Speaking of which, you’re going to need a nudity taboo spell for your human form,” Rarity's horn flashed. “There, that’s better.”
Starlight’s entire brain seemed to have evaporated and her only desire left was to stare. With a flash, she felt her body encased in yet another outfit.
Rarity squealed in sheer delight. “Perfect! You look magnificent darling, take a look!” Rarity held up a mirror.
Starlight took one glance and then started screaming.
“You’ll have to get over the shock of becoming human a few seconds from now,” said Rarity. “You’ll be forgetting this whole thing, anyway.”
“Forge—?“ was all Starlight managed to get out before Cosmic Rarity shoved her into a portal to the human world.
Plopping her down in the middle of nowhere.
Of all the places she had expected to see, it had not been an ethereal plane with an Alicorn Rarity standing in the middle of it.
“Hello Starlight, darling! It’s so nice to see you!”
Starlight stared at Rarity. She was wearing a gorgeous lilac dress that seemed to swirl like star dust all around her. It somehow matched the universe of stars and smoke around them perfectly. But it almost felt like the dress had been designed to match the ethereal plane and not the other way around.
“Uhh…” said Starlight Glimmer. “I take it this isn’t the human world?”
“No, not yet,” said Rarity, her amethyst mane twinkling and somehow ebbing and flowing like water. “But I know you’re anxious to get there, so let me get started!”
“Uhh…” said Starlight again. She knew she ought to have a million questions, but seeing Rarity as an Alicorn had thrown her so completely for a loop that her brain had not even begun processing what to ask. This was not helped any when suddenly her body began shifting and contorting in awkward ways.
“What’s happening to me!?” shouted Starlight.
“Sorry, this takes a bit of prodding, darling. Not to worry though, I’ll have you looking like a beautiful human version of yourself soon.”
Starlight couldn’t exactly feel what was happening to her. It was as if her entire body had been numbed. She knew something was happening to her hooves, torso and everything in between. Only Rarity’s mutterings every so often like: “No… that nose isn’t nearly cute enough,” made Starlight aware that anything was happening at all.
“And done!” said Rarity.
“Done?” said Starlight.
“With phase one, I mean,” said Rarity. "Now comes the best part, CLOTHES!”
“Clothes?” said Starlight.
“Well of course, interdimensional travelers deserve to look their best!”
Rarity brought out a dazzling array of outfits, shifting her eyes back and forth between the clothes and Starlight.
Starlight's brain finally caught up enough to ask a question: “How did you even get here?”
“Peer pressure,” said Rarity without skipping a beat.
“Wha—“ Starlight barely uttered before Rarity’s horn glowed and her entire body was encased in fabric.
“Okay, look. You started it,” said Rarity, still teleporting clothes onto Starlight. “There was this crazy thing that you made happen where time compressed all at once into a single moment and you became a Goddess of Time. And then Twilight became the Goddess of Knowledge, and then Fluttershy became a God of Harmony, and you know Discord was already a God of Chaos, and then Spike’s debacle where he became a God of Death. Basically everypony was becoming Gods and I wasn’t about to abandon my friends—no matter how strange their new hobby of collecting godlike power was. Oh! That hat looks good—just need to figure out the outfit that will go with it.
“Well anyway, I caved to peer pressure and due to time compression shenanigans, I am—and have somehow always been—the Goddess of Space,” said Rarity, who's horn flashed and Starlight felt herself wearing what must have been the tenth outfit in the last thirty seconds. “Really, there's not much for me to do besides monitor the constant expansion of the multiverse. Space will be rather boring until Spike kills the last star and commences the end and rebirth of all things. Until then, I spend most of my time making outfits for interdimensional travelers to worlds that have a nudity taboo.”
“I— wha…?” said Starlight.
“Speaking of which, you’re going to need a nudity taboo spell for your human form,” Rarity's horn flashed. “There, that’s better.”
Starlight’s entire brain seemed to have evaporated and her only desire left was to stare. With a flash, she felt her body encased in yet another outfit.
Rarity squealed in sheer delight. “Perfect! You look magnificent darling, take a look!” Rarity held up a mirror.
Starlight took one glance and then started screaming.
“You’ll have to get over the shock of becoming human a few seconds from now,” said Rarity. “You’ll be forgetting this whole thing, anyway.”
“Forge—?“ was all Starlight managed to get out before Cosmic Rarity shoved her into a portal to the human world.
"Rarity, I expected better of you," Cookie Crumbles said with an admonishing tone that still left the bubbling pride in her come through, "Just because all your friends trascend the bounds of mortal existence doesn't mean you have to do it as well."
But yeah, this is some really nice headcanon, makes sense and fills plotholes. I like the idea of Rarity being basically the multiverse's patron saint of fashion. I wonder how Spike reacted to that when he was getting his doggie collar.
Oh, well. I don't have anything negative to say. Nicely done.
Also, before anyone else makes the obvious joke: Princess of Apples.
But yeah, this is some really nice headcanon, makes sense and fills plotholes. I like the idea of Rarity being basically the multiverse's patron saint of fashion. I wonder how Spike reacted to that when he was getting his doggie collar.
Oh, well. I don't have anything negative to say. Nicely done.
Also, before anyone else makes the obvious joke: Princess of Apples.
Headcannon shoved right down to my throat. While it was tasty, it was also a bit sour.
Tasty because why not? After all, this isn't more absurd than anything else and you tell enough to make it stand on its own. Moreover, the little glances we have about what happened to the other characters are both enough to build your world and to get my curiosity to see more about them.
Sour because, in a way, the whole story is pointless. Just like in the first pokemon movie (fear my cultural references 1!1!!), the characters simply forget what happened. Any lesson they could have learned, any progression they could have, any challenge they could have overcome, everything is forgotten. Thus the story feels pointless. If a character don't remember his adventure at the end, I don't know why I should, since it's mainly empathy that drives reader to care for a story.
Moreover, Starlight doesn't learn or overcome anything and that makes the story more like "Look at my headcannon!".
So, to quote others, "Almost there."
Thank you for your work.
Tasty because why not? After all, this isn't more absurd than anything else and you tell enough to make it stand on its own. Moreover, the little glances we have about what happened to the other characters are both enough to build your world and to get my curiosity to see more about them.
Sour because, in a way, the whole story is pointless. Just like in the first pokemon movie (fear my cultural references 1!1!!), the characters simply forget what happened. Any lesson they could have learned, any progression they could have, any challenge they could have overcome, everything is forgotten. Thus the story feels pointless. If a character don't remember his adventure at the end, I don't know why I should, since it's mainly empathy that drives reader to care for a story.
Moreover, Starlight doesn't learn or overcome anything and that makes the story more like "Look at my headcannon!".
So, to quote others, "Almost there."
Thank you for your work.
this is a pretty funny idea, explaining something that never needed to be explained by having it be even sillier than expected. how else do ponies get their fashionable clothes when stepping through the portal? (is there another goddess who handles the reverse portal?)
the exposition section explaining why Rarity is here drags on way too long, putting the brakes on the humor's momentum. it would've been better to explore more of the consequences of this weird situation going on, adding in extra humor.
the exposition section explaining why Rarity is here drags on way too long, putting the brakes on the humor's momentum. it would've been better to explore more of the consequences of this weird situation going on, adding in extra humor.
I can't see anything to recommend about this piece. I love every bit of it.
Wait, no, there is something. I really want to know about the other Mane characters you didn't mention, if only briefly and not by name (Goddesses of 'blank', 'blank', and 'blank'... where one can infer).
Wait, no, there is something. I really want to know about the other Mane characters you didn't mention, if only briefly and not by name (Goddesses of 'blank', 'blank', and 'blank'... where one can infer).
>>Morning Sun
You're an involuntary member of the Dickmare Central server on Discord, where our icon is Fluttershy with a horsecock for a nose.
You already know the answers to those questions. :fluttershyouch: :trollestia:
You're an involuntary member of the Dickmare Central server on Discord, where our icon is Fluttershy with a horsecock for a nose.
You already know the answers to those questions. :fluttershyouch: :trollestia:
Beautiful... Beautiful... I! Must! Become! Beautiful!
Become as gods -- Become as gods -- Become as gods -- Become as gods -- We'll all -- Dress up together and -- Become as gods --
Spike, floating in the background: "She still won't look my way..."
... Or is it Final Fantasy 8's Time Kompression that I should be quoting here?
Anyway, this is another one o' those Writeoff staples, the Vivid, Flashy "Wouldn't It Be Cool If" Concept Pitch That Doesn't Tell A Story. The piece is basically just expositing the god idea at us, showing some imagery, and telling the reader to enjoy the show. Most of you know the deal by now, I'm looking for pieces to execute a story in minific format, so these pure concept pieces are going to bat mid at best with me no matter how flashy they are.
The concept is amusing. Character voices are very nice. Imagery is indeed flashy and strong. It's a fun ride, there's tinges of humor and a lot of details. ("But," a little voice whispers, "it sure is easy to fit in more details than other entries if you don't spend any words on a plot!")
Like >>Fenton, I came away especially disappointed by the memory wipe at the end. Without that, there could be at least some argument for an arc going on here, but with it... why? Why do that? I don't get it.
So yeah. I did have fun with it! Good prose, fun read, I spammed the jokes it made me think of at the top of this review so you won't think I'm being totally negative here. But I would have preferred to see this idea taken and then used to actively tell some sort of story, instead of simply existing. It's hard, I know it's hard, but take this base and go further with it! Thanks for writing!
Become as gods -- Become as gods -- Become as gods -- Become as gods -- We'll all -- Dress up together and -- Become as gods --
Spike, floating in the background: "She still won't look my way..."
... Or is it Final Fantasy 8's Time Kompression that I should be quoting here?
Anyway, this is another one o' those Writeoff staples, the Vivid, Flashy "Wouldn't It Be Cool If" Concept Pitch That Doesn't Tell A Story. The piece is basically just expositing the god idea at us, showing some imagery, and telling the reader to enjoy the show. Most of you know the deal by now, I'm looking for pieces to execute a story in minific format, so these pure concept pieces are going to bat mid at best with me no matter how flashy they are.
The concept is amusing. Character voices are very nice. Imagery is indeed flashy and strong. It's a fun ride, there's tinges of humor and a lot of details. ("But," a little voice whispers, "it sure is easy to fit in more details than other entries if you don't spend any words on a plot!")
Like >>Fenton, I came away especially disappointed by the memory wipe at the end. Without that, there could be at least some argument for an arc going on here, but with it... why? Why do that? I don't get it.
So yeah. I did have fun with it! Good prose, fun read, I spammed the jokes it made me think of at the top of this review so you won't think I'm being totally negative here. But I would have preferred to see this idea taken and then used to actively tell some sort of story, instead of simply existing. It's hard, I know it's hard, but take this base and go further with it! Thanks for writing!
I'm with >>Fenton - I'm just not sure what the point of this is. it is mildly amusing, but doesn't really go beyond that.
>>Ranmilia
This cannot continue. :V
>>Ranmilia
This cannot continue. :V
A solidly written joke, but ultimately that's all it really is: a joke to explain away the appearance of clothes during transitions. I kinda feel like the Goddess of Space element just doesn't... quite land? The other divinity roles make sense (with Spike being an abrnormal punchline). Rarity apparently does nothing with her space powers. I kinda feel like the joke would be funnier if Rarity were goddess of something totally banal like pants or such to both justify why she's doing what she is and contrast against the other divinities would be funnier.