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Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
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The Day I Met my Double
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#1 ·
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Yeah, well, maybe?

I know that obvious prompt is obvious, but this one doesn't seem to make any effort to stand out. We have the usual story with the double coming to gather forces against an evil and powerful force. There is nothing really bad, but nothing rally good either. There is no new perspective, no joke or twist to make the story fresh and new.

As for the narrator being a cook, it doesn't play a role at all in the story. In longer stories, adding 'useless' informations about a character isn't that big of a deal because it merges into the story as details. Since it's MiniFic, almost every word has to count.

So overall, it was from being unpleasant to read. Unfortunately, with nothing to stand out, this won't score very high for me. Thank you nonetheless for sharing.
#2 ·
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The idea is good, but it seems optimistic to the point of silliness.

There are some English issues, but you probably know this. A proofreader might help.
#3 ·
· · >>Monokeras
is he gonna cook em to death? Chef vs the Eaters. that sounds like a silly, fun adventure. I wish I got to read that instead of the origin story.
#4 ·
· · >>Ranmilia
So, I sometimes say that something is a setup for a story and not an actual story itself. So what generally defines that is having a complete narrative arc, some situation that is being struggled with and then overcome. To a degree, this actually does succeed at that by having our hero answer the call to adventure, but the problem is that that wasn't really presented as something more incidental. It's a big decision, but it only emerges part way through the story as a disruption of the status quo.

You try to set the conflict up at the beginning with him being on the up and up, but the problem is the end doesn't really address that struggle (should I have my successful life or do this) because, for one, the choice is really an illusion given he'll just die anyway and two you call in a rallying against the haters (which I had no idea existed given how hype he was at the beginning of the story), rather than calling back to the idea of him giving up all his successes to help save the multiverse.
#5 ·
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As other noted, the conflict is solved too quickly. Guy walks in the street, sees a double of him showing up with a big gun – doesn't faint or run away or yell in terror – and is talked round to join by really glib explanations. What kind of a simulation? What special this particular incarnation of him has got that justifies his importance? These are legit questions that are raised by the story, but not answered, so we're left hanging.

And I agree with >>Haze in that a chef vs the Eaters would've been much more fun to read than what tastes like a mere appetizer.
#6 ·
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I hurt my arm, so I'm recording reviews instead of typing them.

Listen at this link.
#7 ·
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>>AndrewRogue
These are my thoughts nearly word for word.

Pretty clearly a low experience entry, but certainly not a bad one. I could follow this easily, despite the weak arc and shaky technical execution, and wasn't turned off. Keep at it, and thanks for writing!