Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Show rules for this event
Articulated Partnership
I have a twin who lies within,
He's always got a happy grin.
He's tall as me but much more thin.
He's got my back, he's staunch and true,
And what I do, he does it too.
My silent partner, out of view.
I know that there will come a day
When we will part, each to his way,
And he'll lie down and there he'll stay.
But till that time I shall not grieve,
I see his smile and apperceive
That he's with me and will not leave.
He's always got a happy grin.
He's tall as me but much more thin.
He's got my back, he's staunch and true,
And what I do, he does it too.
My silent partner, out of view.
I know that there will come a day
When we will part, each to his way,
And he'll lie down and there he'll stay.
But till that time I shall not grieve,
I see his smile and apperceive
That he's with me and will not leave.
I like the rhymes and rhythms; it's got a jaunty feel. I just don't understand it. I could see it being about an imaginary friend, or someone with multiple personalities. Originally I thought it might be a reflection, but that wouldn't jive with one of them dying first. So I'm just left a little mystified.
Through exercise and happy sport
With rackets at the tennis court,
I have my twin for close support.
We're knitted close, or maybe sewn,
From back to breast my wish is shown.
Though one, we never are alone.
With rackets at the tennis court,
I have my twin for close support.
We're knitted close, or maybe sewn,
From back to breast my wish is shown.
Though one, we never are alone.
I really like the bone clone poem.
Can't put my finger on why, but there's something joyful in this "my friend the skeleton" idea. The childish-pure kind. At least to me.
As far as negatives go, the fourth stanza felt weaker than the others to me. I'm not convinced the poem would lose more than it'd gain by cutting it.
Can't put my finger on why, but there's something joyful in this "my friend the skeleton" idea. The childish-pure kind. At least to me.
As far as negatives go, the fourth stanza felt weaker than the others to me. I'm not convinced the poem would lose more than it'd gain by cutting it.
I think the most interesting part of this poem is the line "I see his smile and apperceive". This is mysterious. Presumably, the speaker isn't looking at his/her own skull (unless by x-ray, but that is a bit silly), so they must, like Hamlet, have a likeness in front of them--though the interpretation couldn't be further apart.
>>Griseus, >>Pascoite, >>Corinna, >>Heavy_Mole
Articulated Partnership
Thanks for the gold and the kind comments!
This is sort of a riddle to which the answer is 'skeleton'. I was striving for a playful and not dismal mood and it seems I succeeded.
The teeth are the only part of the skeleton visible from the outside, so this is what I referenced by 'I see his smile'. I suppose the speaker was looking in a mirror. I agree the last stanza is weak and should be reworked or removed; I may add one from the fake review I composed.
Thanks again, to all reviewers and participants. I am pleased that we are keeping the spark alight.
Articulated Partnership
Thanks for the gold and the kind comments!
This is sort of a riddle to which the answer is 'skeleton'. I was striving for a playful and not dismal mood and it seems I succeeded.
The teeth are the only part of the skeleton visible from the outside, so this is what I referenced by 'I see his smile'. I suppose the speaker was looking in a mirror. I agree the last stanza is weak and should be reworked or removed; I may add one from the fake review I composed.
Thanks again, to all reviewers and participants. I am pleased that we are keeping the spark alight.
>>GroaningGreyAgony
Oh. I didn't see this as a riddle. I just thought it was supposed to be poetic. If this was a riddle I had to answer at a door, I would just get a buddy and we would kick it in at the same time. Anyhow, again, I liked this a lot.
Oh. I didn't see this as a riddle. I just thought it was supposed to be poetic. If this was a riddle I had to answer at a door, I would just get a buddy and we would kick it in at the same time. Anyhow, again, I liked this a lot.