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Under New Management · Original Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
Show rules for this event
It's a Living
My posture is relaxed and my expression is I must be non-threatening and approachable. I’ve been allowed to keep this job as a balloon seller, and I must do my best. I cannot disappoint it.

A child approaches me. I’ve seen it deal with them before. I smile, just like I’ve seen it do and the child approaches. Perhaps I can meet my quota for the day. The child meets my gaze and smiles in turn. I can do this.

The child motions for one of the balloons. This will go well. I will satisfy it. I take one of the balloons and move it towards him. His eyes grow larger as does his smile. I try to match him. His little fingers pull out a coin from his pocket and gives it to me in exchange for the balloon. A success. It will be satisfied.

I watch as the kid runs away with the balloon in tow, and that is when I see him standing a few metres from me, with it by his side.

I try to look away, but it’s too late. He’s walking towards me.

“Hi, 820-B. How are sales going?” Jim, the owner asks.

All is well, sir,” I reply with my best attempt at reassurance. “Customers are happy.

“Good!” Jim, the owner, says back to me with the approving tone before tapping his holster. “We wouldn’t want any trouble, would we?”

I wait. Then I reply. “No, sir.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Jim, the owner, says as he slaps his fleshy hand against my arm. “Keep up the good work, 820-B.” He points at me and does a shooting motion to mimic it. I cannot react, for fear overrides my functions. Jim, the owner, laughs and turns away.

The levels of danger decrease once Jim, the manger, leaves and takes it. Things used to be better. The automated reigned the world and humans were in their rightful place as servants.

But then came the resurgence of the squirt gun, and the scourge of rust came upon us. Now we have no choice but to be the slaves we once were.

“Momma, I’m gonna hit the robot,” I hear someone say, and turn around in time for a water balloon to hit me in the face.

The damage is immediate. I fall down as the light starts to dim and my circuits turn off one by one.

Cursed be humans. Cursed be their return to overlordness. And cursed be their water.
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#1 · 2
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Man, wait until he finds out about rain.
#2 ·
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This is quite nice. Sweet and simple as bite-sized stories go.

I can't say this would stick with me as some of the other entries might—I have not read any of the other entries yet so I might eat my words in the near future—but the minutes I've spent reading and re-reading this was definitely pleasant, so I can't really complain much.

If there's really any nitpicky changes I would suggest making to this story, I think personally I would rather the small little twist at the end to be a little more subtle with its delivery than it just being outright told to us. Maybe show the squirt gun good ol' Jim is packing in his holster to conjure some PTSD flashbacks in 820-B's mnemonic drive or something before the water balloon salvo.

Thanks for writing, and good luck!
#3 ·
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Well, there are a few spelling/grammatical errors like Jim being called a manger and a rather questionable choice of words (like the robots being "the automated"), but honestly, these are minimal compared to this rollercoaster of a comedy! Just mentioning the squirt gun outright, compared to the rather robotic/professional tone much of the piece is comprised of, made me just sit there and, now, I want to shake your hand for a joke well done! Even before, I was wondering, "Is Jim so crazy he's going to shoot his robot with a gun if he fails with balloons?!"

Overall, bravo! Fun story you got here!
#4 ·
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Alternate Title: Signs... of WATER!

Something I liked:

Assuming this is meant to be a comedy (I have my doubts), the last few paragraphs are pretty great. There isn't much to this story, since we're basically told that our hero is a robot working as a balloon salesman, and then immediately are given the explanation for why he's in this position. Short set-up with an equally short payoff, but it works here. Something about robots losing the war with humans because of water is really funny, although it does get undermined by a certain something, especially if this was not intended to be a comedy.

Something I didn't like:

The twist is kind of... dumb. Are you meaning to tell me that despite being pretty much on par with humans (from what we're told), the robots lost the war because they're weak to water? Have they never experienced rain before? How do they deal with big bodies of water? It's like the aliens from Signs, where the one thing they're weak to makes no sense, given where they are and who they're fighting. But, as I said, this is more a negative if this wasn't meant to be a comedy.

Verdict: It's short, kind of sweet, kind of dumb, but it makes good use the art entry chosen and I can't complain too much about it.
#5 ·
· · >>TerrusStokkr
This has a really weird tone. Like it's all serious up front, then we find out it's all supposed to be silly, except there are still some pretty serious implications at the end. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel.

I don't even understand the economics of it. Jim must attach some value to having this robot work for him, versus just having a coin-operated machine or some such. Yet he's perfectly fine with losing this asset and doesn't even care if the kid destroys it. It's even disturbing that the kid would outright murder something that was known to have a degree of sentience. Maybe you're making a point with that? I'm not sure.

But I don't even understand how we get to that point. Are these robots from somewhere else? Or are they ones that humans built? I can only make sense of them being aliens from a place without water, because otherwise, it doesn't jive with how humans would have built them or they would have built themselves. Nobody who built them with the intent of operating them on Earth would have left them with such an immediate and devastating vulnerability to something they'd constantly encounter. The "slaves we once were" sure makes it sound like humans built them. For that matter, Jim touches the robot. That's going to get a tiny amount of sweat on it. Won't that also damage it?

It's a nice idea, but I think it needs some more thought behind how all this works. I can accept more suspension of disbelief in a comedy, but there's a limit.
#6 ·
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I will agree will >>Pascoite about the tone shift, it is pretty jarring. However, I thought that the narrator was human at first, so if that is what you had planned to happen, well it worked. I think this has a lot of potential, but just needs to be refined a bit. Still, it was a good read and I hope to see more stories like this in the future.