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#21991 · 3
·
Pretty good prompts so far. Starting to get some ideas with the ones that has been posted as of right now (just brainstorming).
#21858 · 2
· on Old Flames
This story gave me a lot of Dark Souls vibes, and I actually liked it. I know the story is about passing the torch, but the dark atmosphere helped push this point home. Truthfully, I would like some more explanation, such as how everypony reacted to the sun dying, but it was great as is.
Final thoughts: it was brutal and unforgiving, as it should be, but it left a reminder that nothing last forever.
#21868 · 1
· on Cleanse · >>Baal Bunny
Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this story. I think most of it came from the points that Chris made, that being that Pinkie lost her voice through the story. I like that concept that Pinkie can't be cheery all the time, but she is very emotional. If she isn't cheery, then it is very noticeable. Whether it be from her words or facial expressions. Pinkie wears her heart on her sleeve, so it is easy to tell how she feels about something.

Other than that, I do like you chose Rarity as the character that gets to see this side of Pinkie Pie. Rarity is a drama queen, but she knows the struggles of having to look like that you know what you are doing. In a sense, Rarity and Pinkie both wear a mask. Rarity is fine with taking it off, but Pinkie isn't. Truthfully, Rarity would be the only character to understand what Pinkie is going through. This left me with a bittersweet feeling. Mostly due to that I have been in Rarity's position., so it hit close to home.
#21869 · 1
· on Where There's Smoke · >>Bachiavellian
Overall, I think it is a great story. However, I do agree with Chris about adding an extra scene in-between Drizzles first fire and first loss. It's pretty jarring. But everything else? I thought you handled pretty well. Honestly, I wasn't aware of when the story took place, but that happened to help the twist. I hope to see another story like this.
#21871 · 1
· on Tempest's Choice
Ah, a good back stabbing. No, but seriously, this was a very well executed story. At first I was afraid this would ruin Tempest's character. I'm so glad to be wrong here. If anything, this story actually would strengthen her character. It explains why she became so rough and battle-worn. Honestly, I love the fact that you decided to build upon how Tempest fights "smarter, not harder" and only joined the Storm King just to get her horn back. I really can't see any flaws. So with that being said, I rate this "I love a good back-stabbing!"
#21959 · 1
· on The Passing of the Torch · >>Bachiavellian
I agree with >>Bachiavellian for the most part. Celestia's proportions seem off, but having her original form is a good touch. You could improve your line work as well.

>>Bachiavellian I'm pretty sure that the sword is a Dark Souls reference. It looks like the sword from Dark Souls 3. The Dark Souls series is about Death and Rebirth, a cycle, and I think the artist drew parallels between the two.
#21960 · 1
· on τῇ καλλίστῃ · >>GroaningGreyAgony
"The forbidden fruit."

But seriously, this is very well crafted. There is a great balance here. Nothing fully stands out, and that is a good thing. I'm an artist as well (still training, but understands the basics) so I have a general understanding of how a piece should be composed. This piece is a good example, and one I will use in the future.
#21961 · 1
· on Drizzles the Firepony · >>Anonymous Potato
This is very impressive and I'm curious of how you made it. Do you use a reference or draw straight from your head? Either way, it is still good.

Compared to the other pieces, this is very simple. But sometimes simplicity is best. An artist needs to have balance, and needs to know when balance is needed. If too much is put into frame and it isn't balanced, then the piece fails.

I enjoy this piece, and if this what made by someone who submitted two pieces, then congrats. You managed to add two great pieces that didn't suffer any time constraint. You know what you are doing and I hope to see more art from you in the future.
#21962 · 1
· on ...But Not Through Glass · >>GroaningGreyAgony
As >>Bachiavellian said, it feels like this piece was made out of cotton (or felt) and it is pretty cool. But I can't understand what anything is (besides Philomena), and I can't draw connections to the stories you have listed.

I'm assuming the design choice was to have the other objects be pretty vague, but there has to be a balance. For example, let's take the big green mound. I'm assuming it is the mountain from "Ascension", but that is just a shot in the dark. You could put a pony-like figure on top of the mountain to solve this, but "that makes it obvious". There would be a pretty easy fix for that. Change the color of the mound to brown with black patches, and have some clouds hang above it. Is it "Golden Oaks" or the mountain from "Ascension"?

Again, this assumption is drawn from how vague the objects were. The big lesson of art (and writing) is learning how to get the viewer (or reader) to correctly infer your intent behind the piece. Art is a story with pictures, so it is natural that the two share the same ideals.

Anyways (I was going on a tangent, but that was a very important point), I will restate I like the piece, but you should make it a little clearer. Abstraction pieces work better when you blur the lines between connected things. Instead of making you viewers wonder what an object is, make them wonder which interpretation is correct. (Blur the lines, don't obscure.)
#22085 · 1
· on Club
First rule about Fight Club, you don't talk about Fight Club.

Now with the basics out of the way, here are my thoughts.

I thought it was pretty good, but as >>Pascoite said, the dialogue seemed too planned. I mean, if Stephen knew about Steve beforehand (before the story started) it would be fine, but he didn't so the prepared dialogue doesn't make sense here. I do like that Stephen was aware that Steve was his Alter Ego before Steve enacted any crazy plans. Steve finding out sooner changes how the story could play out, and I want to see it now.

This story needs some polish (as others have said), but I want to see where you will take this.

>>No_Raisin (Character Identities, or my opinion of them anyway)
Steve= The Alter Ego
Stephen= The Actual Main Character