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Here at the End of all Things. · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000
Show rules for this event
The First Princess
As soon as she saw the puffs of white smoke over the horizon, Rainbow Dash landed back on the wooden platform.

“They’re coming!” she announced to her friends.

After a brief pause, Twilight resumed trotting in circles despite Starlight’s attempts to calm her. Pinkie bounced in excitement. She seemed to completely ignore the seriousness of the situation. Did she pay attention when they read out loud Cadance’s letter back in the castle? Twilight loved Pinkie’s unending optimism and positivity, but sometimes she wished her friend could take things more seriously.

The sound of screeching steel and gasping engines approached. As the train slowed down, it gave plenty of time to everypony to look at it and realize how dire the situation was. The wagons were so full of Crystal ponies that some had to sit on the roofs or cling to the railings. Cadance wasn’t exaggerating when she wrote that the whole Crystal Empire was evacuating.

Soon the train unloaded a stream of distressed ponies that quickly filled the train station.

“Rainbow Dash, lead everypony to Ponyville. Fluttershy, take care of anyone injured. Rarity, make sure all the tents can accommodate everypony. Applejack and Pinkie Pie, you’re in charge of the food.”

While struggling to give instructions among the crowd, she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“Twilight!“ said Shining Armor. Cadance and Sunburst followed close behind, holding Flurry Heart and some dusty books respectively.

She rushed to hug them.

“I was so worried! What’s happening?”

“The Crystal Empire is… gone,” said Cadance.

“What do you mean… gone? Is Sombra back again?”

“No. It is not the same curse that made the Empire vanish for a thousand years. We don’t know what it is. But everything north of Equestria has just… disappeared. Forests, mountains, lands, even the sky. There’s nothing but emptiness.” A chill ran down through Twilight’s back.

“It is as if a bookworm ate a story, with us inside the book,” said Sunburst

“Uh, I’m pretty sure I know what you mean. But we’re not inside a book now, right? Does it mean there is a… even bigger bookworm?”

“We call it the Void. For lack of a better name.” Sunburst floated one of his books and searched through its pages. “I didn’t have much time to do exhaustive research, and I couldn’t save all the books. But I brought a few that may have something to do with it. I think this one may have the key to bring everything back to normal.”

Sunburst showed the book to Starlight. “Here, look at this. Your Old Ponish is better than mine. What does it say?”

A time will come / when everything shall be gone / only one mare will bring life / into... the empty Void? I’m sorry, the translation doesn’t do justice to the rhyme,"
she read.

“It sounds like a prophecy,” said Sunburst. Twilight snorted.

“Don’t be silly. There are no such things as prophecies!” she said.

“We both know that time can be re-written, Twilight,” replied Starlight. “It could have been written by somepony who traveled back in time to prevent this… Void thing from happening. Whoever wrote this may be trying to help us.”

“If you are right, then that pony could have been more specific about this mare who is supposed to save the day. We have no name, no cutie mark, how are we supposed to find her?” Twilight ranted.

“There is something else in the book. But it looks gibberish to me,” said Starlight. Twilight was about to reply but was interrupted by Cadance:

“We should go to Canterlot at once. We’ll ask Celestia and Luna for help, and maybe you’ll be able to find more about this prophecy in the Royal Library.”

She handed her baby to Shining Armor with a kiss and a whisper.

“Be safe,” he replied.




Silence fell again in the throne room after Starswirl read out loud the book Sunburst handed him. It was a chance that Starswirl was in Canterlot at the moment while the Pillars wandered across Equestria. The old wizard stared at the words before him, stroking his beard. For a few moments nopony dared to disturb his deep pondering.

“Do you have any idea who may have written this… prophecy?” asked Starlight.

“Oh, yes, I do,” Starswirl answered. “I did. I wrote it.”

He didn’t seem to notice the general reaction that his answer caused. Even Celestia and Luna were surprised.

“You did? Does that mean you’ve already seen this happening?” Twilight asked.

“No, unfortunately.” Starswirl sighed. He sat on the ground, posed the book gently next to him, and closed his eyes. “I only wrote what I heard. Somepony else warned me, a very long time ago, that sooner or later this day would come. The day of the world’s end. I wasn’t told much, but I have been given instructions. I know what must be done.”

“Tell us what to do. I am ready to do whatever it takes." Twilight stepped up. Starswirl lifted his gaze, showing a brief smile hidden under his beard.

"I admire your bravery, young princess. And I believe you are very talented. But I'm afraid there is nothing you can do to stop such an event."

"She won't be alone, Starswirl." Cadance and Starlight stepped next to Twilight. The more Twilight watched Starswirl, the more she realized that he wasn't the great wizard that she thought he was. His knowledge of spells and magical prowess were certainly unmatched, but he ignored the true power of friendship. Realizing that she had surpassed her idol, the greatest wizard in all history of Equestria, came with a bittersweet taste, a mix of pride and fear.

Her confidence shattered as the old wizard shook his head. He rose up and approached the royal sisters.

"I am sorry, but the stakes are too high. I can only trust the Royal Highnesses to carry on this crucial task. Celestia, Luna, come with me. I have to speak to you privately. I will tell you what Princess Fyreflye told me so long ago."

"Mother?" the sisters gasped at once.

"There is much you don't know about your mother. You were still too young when she left." Starswirl's voice was filled with melancholy as he headed to the corridor with the two siblings.

"Wait!" Twilight stomped on the ground. It echoed through the hall as everyone turned their head. "You're underestimating the power of friendship. A power that was unknown to you and the Princesses a thousand years ago, but can help us now. And I'm not going to wait until the end of the world, not if there is chance we can prevent it. Please Starswirl, let us help."

Twilight waited for the wizard's response without ever dropping her gaze. After what felt like an eternity, Starswirl conceded.

"Very well. If we want to save the world, we'll need all the help we can get. There is something you must do, Twilight Sparkle, but you won't like it," the old unicorn said. "There is only one creature who showed some kind of resistance to the Void. You need to bring him back here."

"And who's that?"

"Lord Tirek."




The six mares paused to look at the three immense and sharp stone pillars that rose before them. Despite being higher than the skyscrapers in Manehattan, plenty of room surrounded the pillars in the vast underground cave. A chill wind echoed as they stood heads up, failing to see the ceiling. The only one looking down was Fluttershy, a few hoofsteps behind the other six, still intent on scratching the belly of the three-headed guardian of Tartarus.

The group proceeded on the steep stairway until they reached Tirek’s cage. The fiendish centaur greeted them behind the bars with a smirk on his gaunt face.

“We’ve come to offer you a chance to help. We will bring you to Canterlot. But don’t even think about trying to escape, Tirek. We have already defeated you, we won’t hesitate to do it again,” said Twilight.

“Why should I help you, little ponies?” asked Tirek.

“The world is ending. The Void is erasing everything from existence. And that will include you, Tirek. Unless you tell us how to stop it,” replied Starlight.

“I don’t know what that Void is, little pony. I have never heard of it, and I don’t know how to stop it.”

“There is no point in lying, Tirek. Starswirl told us you can resist the power of the Void,” said Twilight.

“Then Starswirl is the one lying to you.”

“He would never-” Twilight was about to snap back at the prisoner when Applejack hold her.

“Hold on, sugarcube. He’s just messing with ya. Let’s just bring him back to Starswirl. We’ve lost enough time already.”




The way back took much more time than expected. Not only climbing up to the surface from the lower depths of Tartarus took more effort, but everypony moved slowly to keep an eye on the chained prisoner. It was only when they welcomed the sunlight on their faces that they realized how long they had spent underground. As soon as they stepped on the first patches of grass and lifted their heads, a shocking sight welcomed them.

“We’re too late,” whispered Twilight.

Right in front of them, on the horizon, was an endless wall of white nothingness that stretched in all directions. It was a giant hemisphere that engulfed everything it touched: valleys, mountains, clouds. And cities. With horror, they recognized the familiar towers of Canterlot’s citadel in the distance. The yellow and purple domes stood all too clearly on the white background. The Void was closing in.

“I’ve got this.” Rainbow Dash zoomed to the sky without hesitation. She pushed herself to the top of her limits. She could see Canterlot getting closer and closer… until she couldn’t see it anymore. It was gone. In the blink of an eye, Canterlot was no more. She stopped in mid-air disoriented. Could it be it? Everything was meant to end like that? She looked around, helpless. It was the turn of the waterfall and of the Royal Canterlot Park to vanish into nothingness. Next would be the railway tunnel and… Her eyes widened as she spotted the train traveling at full speed on the winding cliff sides. Not too far away, she saw a flock of pegasi led by Luna and Cadance. They were headed towards Ponyville.

Rainbow Dash landed back among the wails of her friends. She lifted Twilight’s head from her hooves and tried to get some comfort through her veil of tears.

“They’re going to Ponyville, Twilight. There’s still hope.”




Everypony gathered in the Friendship Castle and stared in silence at the Cutie Map. Most of the large round table that used to show all of Equestria was empty. No more Crystal Empire and Yakyakistan. No more Dragon lands. No more Manehattan, Las Pegasus, and Somnambula. No more Appleloosa, Rock farm and Cloudsdale. The map only showed the surroundings of Ponyville.

“Where is Celestia?” asked Twilight.

“She will come back soon. Making a new alicorn takes time,” answered Starswirl.

“A new alicorn? Who?”

“I tasked Celestia to search for the mare who is foretold to bring life back into the Void. Princess Fyreflye told me the criteria that such mare must meet. She wanted a mare who displayed great artistic talent and that shared her own vision of Equestria. She wanted somepony that could carry on her legacy into the next world.”

“What do you mean… next world?”

“I’m afraid the world as we know it is doomed to end, Twilight. There is nothing we can do to stop it. But a new world will be created. It’s a neverending cycle of death and rebirth. It has happened before. Princess Fyreflye was the one chosen to create all Equestria as we know it.”

“But… what about Tirek? You told us he could help us save the world.”

“I lied. I knew that you would never give up and that you couldn’t accept the world’s fate, so I sent you to Tartarus to keep you busy. But even if we cannot save the world, Tirek can help you understand. Luna, you know what to do.”

As Starswirl spoke, Luna approached the chained minotaur, and her horn started to glow. Whatever spell she was trying to cast, it seemed to require a lot of effort.

“Tirek belongs to a previous Generation. Whenever a cycle ends, the souls of every living creature will reincarnate into the next Generation. We may not realize it, but deep inside of us we have something that belonged to a world now gone. Some, like Tirek, have a stronger connection to his past lives.”

A dark cloud started to form in the air. Luna searched into Tirek’s mind, beyond his dreams, beyond his deepest memories. Hidden and buried in the depths of his very soul, she found a brief moment of another past. A blurry image formed before her.

She is too small to pull the Chariot. Get back to Ponyland.” a voice boomed. Tirek was giving orders to what seemed to be Scorpan.

“Is that… Spike?” Twilight blinked as she tried to figure out the images conjured by Luna.

... if by midnight I do not have a fourth pony, a head will roll. His.

As the images faded away, a light blinded the room. Celestia appeared next to a young alicorn, with a pale amber coat and a dark brown mane. She patted her head and touched her new horn.

“Everypony, let me present you our latest, and last, Princess of Equestria, and the first Princess of the next Generation: Princess Wild Fire.”

Everyone gathered around her. Wild Fire could feel the stares of the whole generation of ponies, hungry for hope and comfort, and the overwhelming responsibility of creating a new world.

“I will treasure this," she said to the crowd. "All of this. All the memories. This beautiful land, its rainbows, its crowded cities, all the different creatures and races. Ponies, Zebras, Griffons, Dragons, Yaks, Sea Ponies, all of them. All of our rich history, and culture, and songs and legends. And all of you. I will create the best world we could ever live in. And I promise you this: we will meet again.”
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#1 ·
· · >>moonwhisper
Interesting. I wouldn't have thought to use the changing of generations as the "End of all Things" but it definitely fits the prompt. Very high-concept.

If I had any criticisms they would involve the pacing. The story seems to jump all over the place (at times literally) which, in my opinion, hurts the tone of the story. They go from combating the end to seemingly accepting it very quickly, which felt rather jarring, and characters like Tirek and Wild Fire showed up and didn't really do anything.

That being said, these faults are hardly egregious, and could be easily remedied given more time with the story—after all, 'I wish it was longer' is never a bad complaint to have.

From a technical standpoint the story was quite well written: no spelling errors that I noticed (though, admittedly, I'm not the best at spotting them), and, as mentioned above, I really liked the concept. Despite the fact that I criticized their not doing anything, it was a good idea to bring back important figures from past generations (Tirek) and speculate on ones for the next one (Wild Fire), I just wish it was better expanded on.

I think I've gone into rambling mode, so I'll wrap it up. It was a nice story, and I hope that you don't take anything I've written here too harshly (because I promise it is not my intention to be harsh).
#2 · 1
· · >>moonwhisper
This reads like the Cliff's Notes version of an amazing adventure fic full of twists, turns and shocking revelations. Not so much as a standalone story.

Don't take it personally, author. I genuinely like what I see here, but it's not a full story. It's the pitch of a great one. I'll be the first to admit time constraints and real life can put a damper on one's efforts, so I won't fault you for that. The concepts and plot pints you have in here are interesting and I want to see them developed into a full fledged story where I can be at the edge of my seat wondering what will happen next and if Equestria can be saved.

Right now, though, I can't in good conscience give this full marks.
#3 ·
· · >>moonwhisper
This is a really great idea for a story, and given more time to expand upon that idea and flesh out the telling, I'm sure I'd love to add it to my favorites. But as it is right now, it feels a little weak in the storytelling department. I'm particularly bugged by the narrative short cut of someone bringing up a hitherto unheard of, non-cannon parental or historical figure by simple name dropping them, and having someone else respond with said person's canonical connection as a question.
I will tell you what Princess Fyreflye told me so long ago."

"Mother?" the sisters gasped at once.

It just feels like a cop out, and whenever I see it done, I instantly and unreasonably hate the new character through association.
#4 ·
· · >>moonwhisper
I won't waste too much time echoing what everyone else said. Cool idea, rushed pacing, needs to be fleshed out.

With that out of the way I just wanted to say how much I really hope you flesh this out into a full story after the writeoff. I've always loved stories that manage to mix a tragic forgone-conclusion with a semi-hopeful or at least non-depressing plot. So far this is the first 'End of All Things' fic I've come across that's really managed to nail that Seeking a Friend at the End of the World feel, and I would love to read it on fimfic in fuller form someday.
#5 ·
· · >>moonwhisper
I like the ideas but I'm not sure I like the story. There's no reason why things are ending right now, and there really needs to be. This is a story that should happen far in the future, not when the current Generation is at its peak of being fleshed-out with dozens of loose ends. I could get behind the story if it happened further off in the future.

The main issue I have with the writing is that a story this epic needs more than twenty-three hundred words to come alive. I assume time was a factor, but if this is fixed up for publication it needs significant expansion.

“It sounds like a prophecy,” said Sunburst. Twilight snorted. “Don’t be silly. There are no such things as prophecies!” she said.


Twilight and the other characters have quoted and used prophecy throughout the series. This is totally not something she would say.

Also, I've never seen Twilight snort.

It's difficult to believe that Star Swirl would lie to 'keep Twilight busy'. If she can't stop the end of the world, why would you need to keep her and her friends busy? It's not like she can muck things up.

Wild Fire is an odd choice. I realize she was created by a storyboard artist who left the show years ago, but I don't think this means her presence will be central in the next generation. If anything, Celestia or Twilight would be the genesis seed.
#6 ·
· · >>moonwhisper
I thought this was cute, belatedly, although the idea that Sibsy is making Gen 5 is an amusing one.

I don't know if that was intentional or not, but it seems a bit off base!
#7 · 4
· · >>Zaid Val'Roa
>>Cyrano
>>Zaid Val'Roa
>>Lamplighter
>>zaponator
>>Trick_Question
>>Morning Sun

Sorry for the late reply. Anyway, thank you very much for your feedback!

Just to be clear, I'll explain a few references.
The Tirek reference comes from the first Gen1 movie. I didn't watch it, btw, just made a quick research to describe the scene.
The bookworm is a reference to a IDW comic.
Fyre-Flye is Lauren Faust's nick on Deviantart. So yes, Princess Fyreflye is basically Fausticorn, only with a less obvious name.
Wild Fire is a OC created by Sibsy, who worked as storyboard artist on the show.

Why Wild Fire? I simply didn't know any other OC of artists who are still working on the show.

I wanted to integrate a bit of real-life, and the concept of show generations, as an in-world cosmology lore. I had this idea in mind for some time, but I had to find a way to translate it into a story.
I realize that Wild Fire is an odd choice, but if Celestia or Twilight was meant to create the next generation, the connection with the real-life G5 creation would be lost.

I will definitely try to improve this story, especially the scenes and the characters that were too rushed. I hope to publish it on FimFic someday.

Thank you for reviewing my story, see you next time!
#8 · 1
·
>>moonwhisper
Man, work on this right now and strike the G5 hype/fear train while it's still in the station.