So the narrator dreams about killing a girl who laughs at him (or her friends do)? I have no context as to why he'd secretly fantasize about killing her, though, so unless I just like a dark tone, the default will be to assume he's in the wrong. or, more likely, that they both are, but him about a more consequential thing.

The rhymes are good, but the rhythm is a little off. It's not steady, but it's also not the kind that you have to force into unnatural stress patterns to fit, so it's not egregious. On the one hand, I appreciate when poetry doesn't feel it necessary to put the rhymes at natural pausing places, but on the other, that exacerbates the feeling that the rhythm is irregular and more often made me reread lines to figure out what their rhythm was supposed to be.

Free verse right? Except you have a couple rhymes near the end in irregular positions, so I'm not sure if that was deliberate.

I also can't tell what tone this is striking. That all the life functions occur internally and out of view but could cease at any time, yeah, but then lists several methods how. It struck me as odd that the surgery one got special emphasis, and the use of "keen" makes it sound more involuntary on the narrator's part, and I couldn't tell if there was some meaning behind that. Then the use of "verse" confused me, too, since it hints at metafiction, and there hadn't been a theme of poetry up to that point. This isn't something you can really help, but just visually, the similar line lengths made me expect at first glance this would be a metered poem. Plus it's kind of shaped like Minnesota...

Mostly nice word choice, and it keeps up a good atmonsphere.

I read this as an ode to our bodies' inner workings - not to its awe-inspiring magnificence, but to it just being pretty neat.

There's no rhythm or rhyme (except at the end) that I noticed, but it still feels reverent to me. And I'd be shocked if that really came "just" from your somewhat flowery wording.

I like it.