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Whelp, really did not think I'd finish eighth. Figured I'd get eighth to last or something like that. Anyway, restrospect!
So, the basic idea of this was that it takes place right before the fires of friendship get lit. Pretty much every track, magic, weapons, armies, and so on have failed against the windigos, but despite all this, the three of them form up a team to try and kill them. Logically, conventional weapons fail and they promptly begin to get consumed by the winter. The general idea was that the windigos overwhelmed them, at least at the end of this scene, because they still could feed off of hatred (something that was definitely lost), and that when they're being consumed, the three of them just talk before they die. The rest is history.
Windigos, and monsters in general, are a fascinating topic to write about for me, mostly because I think that the truly terrifying ones are the ones that mirror us to a certain extent. That's the main reasons I ended up finding myself writing about the windigos. I think they represent something truly horrific in Equestria, a land that emphasizes trust, friendship and working together as one. The windigos are, in my opinion, the antithesis of said principle- a manifestation of the apathy and hatred the tribes had for one another.
The story itself has been a concept I've been toying with for ages, i.e. killing immortals. I considered doing this with Discord originally, but then realized that given that I had three, four hours at max, that'd require a lot more work-around with OCs and such than I had time to do. As such, I decided to make use of the show's resources, adapting an old tale and setting this story just before the conclusion of that tale, which allowed me to focus on emphasizing the sheer terror of the windigos' magic and winter.
>>Trick_Question The decisions for focusing mainly on those the windigoes had claimed vs the living was one that I toyed with for a little while, but at the end, I wanted to hammer home the sense of not many options being left. The basic idea was that the windigos' victory was nigh complete, and that's why things look so grim for Pansy, Clover and Cookie. As for side-canon and the like, I don't really have access to that kind of information, so I mostly just roll with what the show hands me, using whatever else I happen to stumble upon in my madness.
>>TheCyanRecluse>>FanOfMostEverything Glad you two liked it. Although I never really realized that this really qualified as 'classic fantasy' (although now I'm going to start doing so, because I love classic fantasy).
>>Baal Bunny I didn't realize that the story could be viewed as combat being what stopped the windigos until you pointed it out. I'll be honest, my basic concept was more along the lines of even violence failing, and then they just talk before they die, and that's what triggers the fire. My idea was to take the moment before the scene everyone knows, and try to tell a story how it would have been for them in the final minutes or so.
>>Ceffyl_Dwr>>Monokeras Blegh. Resolution. I knew I forgot something. Had I possessed another three hundred words (which, incidentally, is enough for this to hit Fimfic), I would have almost certainly included the moment the windigos beat them, and a bookend with the beginning. A bookend was actually in the original conception, but either I was dumb enough to not include it or too sleepy to remember. Really glad that the story could manage without it for now.
>>TitaniumDragon>>Exuno Not really sure what to add. Given the content and the wordcount, I can definitely see that side of the argument. Historical fiction and the like suffer from this a lot in my opinion, because as long as you know the event it's set during, you have a basic understanding of what'll happen. The same rings true for stories set during historical events in Equestria.
>>georg georg gave me a really positive review. I can die happy.
So, the basic idea of this was that it takes place right before the fires of friendship get lit. Pretty much every track, magic, weapons, armies, and so on have failed against the windigos, but despite all this, the three of them form up a team to try and kill them. Logically, conventional weapons fail and they promptly begin to get consumed by the winter. The general idea was that the windigos overwhelmed them, at least at the end of this scene, because they still could feed off of hatred (something that was definitely lost), and that when they're being consumed, the three of them just talk before they die. The rest is history.
Windigos, and monsters in general, are a fascinating topic to write about for me, mostly because I think that the truly terrifying ones are the ones that mirror us to a certain extent. That's the main reasons I ended up finding myself writing about the windigos. I think they represent something truly horrific in Equestria, a land that emphasizes trust, friendship and working together as one. The windigos are, in my opinion, the antithesis of said principle- a manifestation of the apathy and hatred the tribes had for one another.
The story itself has been a concept I've been toying with for ages, i.e. killing immortals. I considered doing this with Discord originally, but then realized that given that I had three, four hours at max, that'd require a lot more work-around with OCs and such than I had time to do. As such, I decided to make use of the show's resources, adapting an old tale and setting this story just before the conclusion of that tale, which allowed me to focus on emphasizing the sheer terror of the windigos' magic and winter.
>>Trick_Question The decisions for focusing mainly on those the windigoes had claimed vs the living was one that I toyed with for a little while, but at the end, I wanted to hammer home the sense of not many options being left. The basic idea was that the windigos' victory was nigh complete, and that's why things look so grim for Pansy, Clover and Cookie. As for side-canon and the like, I don't really have access to that kind of information, so I mostly just roll with what the show hands me, using whatever else I happen to stumble upon in my madness.
>>TheCyanRecluse>>FanOfMostEverything Glad you two liked it. Although I never really realized that this really qualified as 'classic fantasy' (although now I'm going to start doing so, because I love classic fantasy).
>>Baal Bunny I didn't realize that the story could be viewed as combat being what stopped the windigos until you pointed it out. I'll be honest, my basic concept was more along the lines of even violence failing, and then they just talk before they die, and that's what triggers the fire. My idea was to take the moment before the scene everyone knows, and try to tell a story how it would have been for them in the final minutes or so.
>>Ceffyl_Dwr>>Monokeras Blegh. Resolution. I knew I forgot something. Had I possessed another three hundred words (which, incidentally, is enough for this to hit Fimfic), I would have almost certainly included the moment the windigos beat them, and a bookend with the beginning. A bookend was actually in the original conception, but either I was dumb enough to not include it or too sleepy to remember. Really glad that the story could manage without it for now.
>>TitaniumDragon>>Exuno Not really sure what to add. Given the content and the wordcount, I can definitely see that side of the argument. Historical fiction and the like suffer from this a lot in my opinion, because as long as you know the event it's set during, you have a basic understanding of what'll happen. The same rings true for stories set during historical events in Equestria.
>>georg georg gave me a really positive review. I can die happy.
I really, really liked this one. I assume that the reason for naming him Kevin was due to the fan name for the changeling and Cranky and Matilda's wedding, aye? Anyway... my general thoughts on this are that it's really well done. Made fantastic use of the prompt, both with concept and execution. I enjoy the idea of Luna having a protege, but I feel like adding that last sentence in is unnecessary. We can already gather that much from what's already presented, so the final sentence feels redundant with what's already been said. Regardless, this is finishing really high up on my ballot. Good job.
This is sort of weird. For starters, this feels totally unrelated to the prompt. I get that there are lots of ways one can interpret various prompts, but the whole 'time machine to present' deal doesn't really feel like that. It doesn't help either that it doesn't really fit Starlight or Twilight's characters (admittedly, Starlight's character is sort of lacking in the show, so it's hard to tell), but this doesn't really feel like something Twilight would try to build, nor does her method of going about it really feel like that. In many regards, it more feels like something Pinkie would be involved in, as opposed to Twilight. My other major issue is that Starlight doesn't really feel like she belongs in this. I guess you might have just picked her because she seems to live at the tree, but aside from that it feels like she could just as easily be replaced with any other pony.
Seconding what everyone else has said. I adore your portrayal of the dragons, really, really well done, but it ends up going nowhere in particular. The character part of it- excellent. The story part feels like it was a setup, as opposed to an actual conflict. If this ever goes up on Fimfic and expanded, I'll certainly give it a read, but the fact that it doesn't go too far forward holds it back.
I like this concept, but it feels like too much happened in this space for us to really enjoy it. I know there's a limit on words, but that felt like it would work much, much better if it even had twice as many words. Otherwise, it amounts to 'turn good.' 'okay.' There's very little substance for us to understand the struggle. I enjoyed the setup, but the resolution went back too fast for it to be impactful.
My biggest gripe with this is that the montage sequence is a different tense than the rest of the story. Pretty jarring, in my opinion, but aside from that I've got not much else to say. You've got excellent characterization, pretty good ending, and it was pretty entertaining overall. I loved your way of presenting Discord as well.
>>Trick_Question The story relies on bookends. The whole idea, I think, is that the spell was experimental, and instead of slowing time it put them back at the beginning, because they were dealing with magic out of their depth. The first and last sentence are identical, meaning that the spell failed and they're likely in some kind of time loop.
P.S. Do not under any circumstances tell Fluttershy about this or what you’re doing.Lines like this were what made the humor enjoyable. It felt like Monty Python in some regard- so much dark material, yet presented in a really funny manner. It never really went anywhere, though, which I think was holding it back to some extent. Mostly felt like a joke fic in terms of story. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it means that's there's not much substance aside from the overarching joke.
I spent this week reviewing some OC characters being involved with Canon back on Fimfic this week, so this is a nice change of pace from seriousness to mocking said thing. Winking Star felt out of the blue, and the first paragraph or two feels like it isn't needed, or could simply be merged, but aside from that I enjoyed this. It wasn't magnificent, but it was enjoyable enough that I could look past the issues here and there.
Surprisingly dark. I saw a few typos here and there, and like >>Trick_Question I think it was incredibly dark for the Equestrian setting, but it was pretty good. The lack of dialogue and description allowed for a lot to be fit into that short space (seriously, birth to death. In less than seven hundred words), and it did a good job of voicing the prompt. Nice job.
Paging WIP