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I have to echo what >>Trick_Question said here. It would have been more powerful for me if the end was left open. Still, I thought this was great! Like others have said, Dash's ignorance on the subject matter was a bit hamfisted. But still, I loved the premise, and enjoyed how you pulled it off for the most part.
Love dark fics. Love authors exploring difficult emotions and situations (not that I don't like light-hearted reads, too). Loved this. Pony or not, the conversation between your two characters was great. The truth never had to be said out loud in the end.
With all of that said, her doctor's name was kinda cringeworthy.
With all of that said, her doctor's name was kinda cringeworthy.
Oh, man. I was about to call bullsh** on this one because Chrysalis? Love? Ha! And then the ending slapped me in the mouth. Loved that ending! I kinda do want to know what the heck is/was up with the prisoner pony, but I guess it doesn't matter??
The beginning was hilarious, but midway through I found that I stopped understanding the jokes as well as the story. And Luna's claim that she wasn't stealing was buried under the barrage of attempts at jokes. This whole thing could use just a touch of expository description.
This was okay. By the end, the typos seemed to be popping up every few seconds though. Hmm. It felt like it was missing a few elements to make it a story. The meat of the writing was just Gilda and Limestone being angry at each other. Nothing else besides that really happened. Then the last line made it feel like there was more to come. If you were going for an open ended ending, I think perhaps talking about Gilda's emotional connection to Griffinstone might help the 'Soon she'd find out," feel like more of an ending since we would already feel connected to what she's connected to. I don't know if that is clear in the slightest. Probably not.
Hmm. This one was an odd read for me, and I think it's solely because I don't really care for changelings or LyraBon (I have no idea what is called. Bonra?). Don't get me wrong, I liked the story for its solid theme and followthrough, but the subject matter just wasn't my cup of tea. Also, I found "Doubt crept into Lyra's indignation" a rather odd turn of phrase. But perhaps that's just me.
I will never understand why, to some, "open endings" are a bad thing or mean that the story isn't complete. I thought this ending was great! Very ominous. Looking deeper, there is also a more profound implication for earth pony strength, especially those earth ponies who actually do work with earth and vegetation. It almost implies that a major aspect of their magic is becoming obsolete.
With all that said, the story didn't really catch me until near the end. I got the implication that all of the farmers were beginning to use the cider squeezy contraption, but the implications didn't feel weighted or emotional until the end.
With all that said, the story didn't really catch me until near the end. I got the implication that all of the farmers were beginning to use the cider squeezy contraption, but the implications didn't feel weighted or emotional until the end.
The timing is fine, the story reads fine, but I'm getting a feeling of disconnect here because the setting doesn't quite mesh with the setup for me. I get that it is supposed to be absurd in its own way, but something about holding a public event to air out a close friends' private affairs doesn't seem like something Dash would do. The whole time, I was assuming that she was going to lament to the world that she finally lost at a competition or something, but instead I think the joke went too out there for it to feel like she would do that. Also, why would Applejack show up to this when she already knew what was going to happen?
Paging WIP