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#16099 ·
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Crap. I've got a perfect story idea for this prompt. And I've written it TWICE, in different formats.. and NEITHER of them is fitting the word limit, or really gelling together perfectly. And I'm running out of time. :/
#15334 ·
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>>horizon
Ah, there may have been an hour left in the contest! But alas, I had to depart to this place called "work." It is a terrible land of misery and suffering. It's sole redeeming quality is that it provides me the bits needed for viewing ponies on the interwebs. And a few other amenities such as food, water, and housing. ;>
#15267 · 2
· · >>horizon >>Fenton
BWHAHAHAHA! Submitted! Submitted at the last minute with no time for any proof reading or polishing, but submitted none the less!

I was rather upset that I was going to miss two Write Offs in a row, but the story idea I initially began working on just wouldn't come together and kind of sucked. But then this idea came to me as I was driving, and I managed to hammer it out just in time!

It's not super or anything. And as I said, I hammered it out. So it's rather rough. But hey, at least I finished it! :)
#14562 · 1
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Blech. Almost done trimming this piece down to fit... But really not one of my better works. I should have stuck with my idea with the Wendigos.... :/
#14481 ·
· on The Woes of a Second Year Associate Reaper
Okay, this one definitely made me smile! And kudos on an interesting (and rather literal) interpretation of the prompt! Thumbs up!
#14480 · 1
· on To Save the Other · >>Dolfeus Doseux
Based on the generally positive tone of the previous reviews, it is clear thatr I am missing something here. Because I am totally not getting this story. We have a (freed?) sex droid of some sort, and a man who is a 'luddite,' yet has cybernetic parts, is making films and is rescuing? Rehabilitating? Something? Sex droids. And he hates humanity for what they've been doing to their creations. (But he clearly doesn't hate the creations, despite being a 'luddite.') And in the end he's setting off a bomb... Of some sort. About which we're given no details or scale so as to know how concerning this is. But his friend the sex droid blows them both up first, preventing... what exactly?

The characters are interesting, yet apparently inconsistent on the surface (a cybord luddite? There's an interesting story to be told there) But we're not shown the full scope of the conflict, or really given reason enough to care...
#14479 ·
· on In Sparking Skies · >>Ion-Sturm
I really liked this one. A nice little view in a very different, very strange world.. Yet one where the characters are still completely relatable. Thumbs up!
#13739 ·
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Ugh.. My initial idea just isn't working out.. I have little time left to write... And my replacement idea is just too vague...

I HATE missing a single round, let alone two in a row.. But I'm just not sure I'm going to be able to manage this one. :/
#13733 · 1
· · >>CoffeeMinion
Damn it all! I've got an idea that fits this prompt really well.. But I just can't seem to sit down and get it to flow out! :/
#13382 ·
· on Apple Bloom Says a Bad Word
You know, it took me far too long to figure out what word Cherilee was objecting too? Other than that, I enjoyed this one. You go AJ! Show them big govement types that they can take your life, but you'll never take your accent! Freeeeedom!

It'll be kinda hard for them to go off grid though, seeing at to how they seem to feed half of Ponyville...
#13380 ·
· on Explorers We · >>Ranmilia >>Monokeras
Ahhhhhhhhhh! Our main characters are Hasboro Executives! Suddenly the story makes more sense! Well, it doesn't make more sense in so far as it was incomprehensible earlier. It just seemed a bit... pointless? Nebulous? Directionless? "Hey, people found hieroglyphics! Alien ponies visited us! The end!" Having this be the origin of the TV show, as a way to introduce the concept to humanity, is really quite clever! There's just one problem with this story:

If I hadn't read through the comment, I'd have had no idea that was what it was about.

So, in short, a very interesting idea very cleverly executed. With the caveat that it may have been a bit TOO clever, and pass right over many people's heads.
#13379 ·
· on Triumph the Insult Comic Dog in Equestria
Okay. I'm not particularly familiar with "Triumph the Insult Dog." Just familiar enough to know that I don't like him. And while this story did have a few random amusing bits, I spent the majority of it waiting for the little puppet turd eater to get it's comeuppance. Needless to say I was disappointed on that score.

I'm sorry, but whatever audience Triumph is geared towards, I am clearly not a part of.
#13377 ·
· on How Do Ponies Use a Computer? Just Use Your Imagination, Please
Light, silly, and funny. Poor Apple Bloom, just trying to load some apples... Anyway, don't have much to add besides that I liked it. Two thumbs up!
#13376 ·
· on Little by Little
Light, fluffly, and clever. I'd say that there's not all that much to the story, but this is a mini-fic round. It's solidly written and entertaining. I don't have much to add except give it a thumbs up.
#13375 ·
· on Paper Trail
Having to work with a giant, pointless, inefficient, illogical bureaucracy every day, I totally understand the sentiment behind this story. My only issue is with how over the top it, and the disconnect between the level of destruction and Luna's attitude. I know it's being played for laughs here, but for some reason it just doesn't quite work for me. If the level of disaster / apocalypse was just a notch or two lower, or Luna's refusal to help a bit less vigorous, I think it would feel a bit more reasonable. As it stands, Luna sitting there watching the world burn makes her seem less like a clever protagonist giving her foolish sister her comeuppance... And more like a heartless, arrogant bitch.

Still quite enjoyable though, and going towards the top of my slate!
#13373 ·
· on Black / Flightcamp
Well, this was a bright, cheery piece, wasn't it?

I very much enjoyed it though. It built up nicely, setting up the atmosphere. Making it clear just what a monster Spitshine is, and just how desperate Windy is. My only issue is that I can't quite pin down the ages of the characters. They have to be fairly young, since Windy seems to believe some of the tails about monsters on the ground, and Spinshine calls him a foal. Their behavior isn't the sort of thing you generally see from older teenagers. More like younger children or tweens perhaps. Yet it's hard to imagine a child that age resorting to violence/murder like this.

In any case, despite being dark as the bottom of a mineshaft, this was quite entertaining. Definitely goiung towards the top of my slate.
#13371 ·
· on Release Note
Okay, this was cute, clever, and entertainingly formatted. And it really does explain the entire system! Definitely at the top of my slate.
#12483 · 5
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Well, it's stupid. And silly. And campy. And probably still filled with typos. But, most importantly of all, it is submitted.

May god, and the poor, unfortunate readers, have mercy on my soul.
#12131 · 1
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I think that I will have to, regretfully, bail out on this month's competition. Just not enough time, or a good enough idea.
#11845 · 5
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Ha HA! It's in! And just in time too!

And I resisted the urge to try to write 2000 words around a horrible, horrible pun that would have gotten me booed out of the Write Off! So go me! ;>
#10948 · 2
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*sigh* Alas, today I had both time to write, and a semi decent idea. Yet somehow I have completely failed to write anything. For some reason I just can not get my writing groove on. So, to my immense dissatisfaction, I shall be sitting this one out. :(

Good luck to everyone still writing!
#10645 ·
· on The Panopticon
Ooooh. the Stanford Prison Experiment as a corporate model... Very interesting, and very dark. thumbs up!
#10644 ·
· on Fridge · >>Garnot
Okay. Well. Um.....

I totally don't get this one. O.o

Is this some sort of pop culture reference I'm simply oblivious to? Because I am totally lost here.

I'll keep an eye out for other reviews on this one. Maybe someone else can explain it to me...
#10473 · 1
· on The Path · >>Novel_Idea
Okay, let me start off by saying that, being a serial procrastinator, I am reading my entires at the last minute and rather late in the evening. As such I am finding it difficult to slog through a few of the stories on my slate. Either because the subject matter doesn't catch my interest, or the writing itself is... not of the highest caliber. Making it through a few without just skimming has been a struggle for some of them.

This story is not one of them.

I found the whole thing quite engaging. It's a delightful bit of world building. I love the way each flashback and labeled, and each one moves backwards in time, while the story moves forward. It's an impressive bit of pacing. I'll agree with some of the earlier complaints that Zecora's rhymes are sometimes a bit.. lackluster. But considering how difficult it is to write rhyming prose, I'm more than willing to let that slide.

I really don't have much else to say about this, except to say that it's definitely going to be at or near the top of my slate. Good work!
#10472 ·
· on Sunset Shimmer and Discord Go BACK TO THE FUTURE · >>Oroboro
Okay, I personally thought this was pretty clever, and I definitely enjoyed it. I especially liked the interactions between Sunset and Discord. The way Sunset just kinda.. rolled with things was great!

I have to agree with many of the previous reviews one two items however. First, the more minor one: The whole "Hey, it's the 80's!" thing with Sunset being clueless/ambivalent about the pop culture stuff is kind of funny. But your time skip is rather... abrupt and awkward. You start off with some bits of "Hey, look! 80's nostalgia stuff!" And then you literally skip a day with a sentence or two talking about "Hijiinks" and "Pop culture references." It feels a bit, I don't know, lazy. Like the author is saying "I had this idea for a bunch of 80's stuff, but I'm bored with it now, so let's just skip it all." Even a few lines expanding on that time skip would have worked better. Perhaps a noodle incident or two that isn't quite explained, and/or Sunset being puzzled over some bit of 80's era slang or technology or whatnot.

The second issue was how abrupt the ending was. Sunset just kinda... Gives up. Says "Screw this, I'm going home." and heads back to the future without really trying to fix anything. Maybe if you had her reassuring herself that Discord is reformed and 'harmless' and wouldn't actually cause anything terrible to happen it would be more reasonable for her to run off. As it stands it just seems a bit out of character for her to cut and run like that.

All in all though I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It was a great omage to Back to the Future. and poor Sunset is going to have a very awkward conversation in her future... ;>
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