>>devas
Knowing our recent track record, we'll end up with "Ot"...

I doubt someone from the world crumbling during apocalypse would have time to write a poem about that, but I guess that's the author's poetic (pun not intended) licence. Also, depending on how long the message travelled across space, not being good at poetry would be the last thing to worry about when writing a reply (addressee being long dead would be my bigger concern). Still, it's a nice story.

“I was living the right way. The natural way. Then they despoiled themselves.”

So, Chrysalis thinks her way was right, but then says the other changelings "despoiled" themselves. Implying the way wasn't quite right, after all. Chrysalis also seems to be in a reformed changeling form – the narration describes her as "brightly-colored", while canon Chrysalis is anything but; and yet, she's apparently starving, somehow. From a technical standpoint, I spotted some superfluous commas and, especially by the end, repeated use of the same "the changeling (verb)ed" construction to describe Chrysalis' actions.

I wonder if the author read my story called The Campfire at the Edge of the Universe, but I don't think anyone actually read this one so the chances are slim.

Also, as others mentioned, the opening line is rather awkward, but what follows is one of the better stories I read so far in this round. Aside from one missing period, I didn't spot any technical flaws, and Luna sounds pretty in character. The description of Flurry's dream is pretty atmospheric and the story doesn't spoil too much of the mystery.

This one tries to cram so many ideas into the story that it ends up being a chaotic mess of half-baked ideas. While Pinkie is often very chaotic, I don't think that's the way to write her.

It's "Apple Bloom". Two words. But then, I think Granny Smith died, so it's not the time to complain.

Eh.

So, that's, uhh... a really weird setting for something that basically boils down to Twilight telling someone "I'm asexual. Let me educate you on the subject". Like, what was the point of this whole sci-fi stuff, aside from boosting the word count?

Risk, Diplomacy, and Monopoly – most definitely the easiest to test your friendship (but I guess Monopoly would end with everyone hating each other).

And, uh, bring a towel. In fact, bring two.

Let's hope she knows where her towel is.

Also, while I feel the immortality/immorality typo is a horse that's been ridden to death at least twice, the story is still pretty enjoyable.

>>Dubs_Rewatcher
>>GroaningGreyAgony
>>Bachiavellian
>>Miller Minus
I'd write some retro, but the only interesting thing I have to say about this is the list of objects I was considering to put there instead of the rat:
- baseball bat;
- an assault rifle;
- the rest of the body (or just some loose bones);
- a pack of cigarettes;
- empty bottle.

Little details suddenly made sense: the zodiac sign in her Tinder profile and the thumb-sized amethyst pendant necklace.

Well, to be frank, I wouldn't notice either. Though I guess after chatting on Tinder and three days the guy would already have this figured out.

All I'm Saying Is, It Could Work had millenials, this one has Florida men. And, as others already pointed out, orca gladiators. Nice work with the ending, though, I rather liked this one.

>>Baal Bunny

April seems to be saying that having a treatment to remove a person's love and concern is just as bad in her eyes as having a treatment to remove a person's fear and hatred. If that's the point the story's trying to make, I'm gonna need some more discussion of it...

Maybe it'd be explained better if the whole conflict of the story wasn't diffused in six lines. Like, April drops the bomb about Sarah's brother, Sarah snaps, April apologises and they're best pals again. End of story, even though this is where it should start, if the author wants to make a lasting impression.

>>Monokeras

The dialogue feels like talking heads, because nothing really much happens aside from it.

I'd say this story could use a few less characters. Every line, I got a new name (I think there was the narrator, Gus, Steve, Sharon, and Meghan, and most of them were pretty much interchangeable).

Also:

"Just to be clear, we're doing this to kill ourselves, not to restore the wasteland, right?" I said.

I got a round of yeses.

Everyone who survived the apocalypse is a millenial... xD

This story is rather sparse when it comes to details. We never know what kind of business those guys are going for at first, what are their names, and whatnot. As Miller put it, talking heads. Also, the house-painting guy has some kind of accent at first, which he mysteriously loses in the second act.

Also, paint or not, the dude doesn't seem very wise to begin with, throwing a suit in the washer like that. I'm not sure how about him, but all suits I ever owned were dry-cleaning only.

>>No_Raisin

What even is the People's Republic of New Czechoslovakia, and what does it look like?

As a frequent visitor to Slovakia, I can attest that they're the closest to genocide when they kill a beer. Also, it's spelled "Auschwitz".

I also question the supposed lethality of a drone the size of a dog with a single submachine gun as its armament. I mean, Russians during WWII were experimenting with putting tons of PPSh's on a plane, but WWI planes were more heavily armed than this drone. Not to mention that even these days submachines are being replaced in military use by compact assault rifles and personal defense weapons such as FN P90. Unless that's why it's so cheap (but then it wouldn't be as lethal as the guy claims).

For a story about dentists, I'd say the humour here lacks teeth.

>>Monokeras
I'm torn between abstaining and pointing out that some rhymes are really painful and basing my rating on this. Will probably abstain, though.

The Wolf.

Dear God, not this again...

Seriously though, it's not badly written, but it seems to me that it's just a generic description with some colours thrown in to fit the prompt. Probably the middle of the slate for me.

This seems like one of the tricks people use in minific rounds: rather than write a minific, they write something that seems like a fragment of a longer story (I'm pretty sure I'm guilty of that too). In this case it's a rather unimportant part of the story, I'm afraid.

>>Anon Y Mous

Of course it’s Cali. If it was any other state this would become quite unrealistic.

Florida, on the other hand, produces its villains illegaly...

I fear to think what supervillains can emerge from California... Dr. Social Justice?

Retrospective? What retrospective?

>>Miller Minus

Also, I totally whiffed on what the PTSD joke was supposed to mean. Moral fibre? What does that have to do with post-traumatic stress?

It's an actual WWII term for pilots who, due to stress, refused to fly.

It's quite intentionally gross, instead, which doesn't do you many favours.

Frankly, I didn't like the prompt so I decided to go with "let's write Sunset throwing up and see where it goes". It's still not as bad as it could be, since my first idea was to have Pinkie die of overdose and, unlike Fluttershy whom we barely see, that description would be rather graphic.

>>AndrewRogue

the cop and Lyra interludes don't really end up adding much

Eh, what'd be driving with the body in the trunk without the thrill of getting caught...

Pinkie on the other hand felt surprisingly understated and honestly a bit mean the way she snipes a couple times

Well, I'd be understated and mean too if I spent a night lying in cold water under the shower, not to mention the hangover... But also, as you can see above, Pinkie was supposed to be the corpse in this story. Since I changed my mind and she survived, I was kinda stuck with her and let me tell you, there's no other character I struggle with more than Pinkie (Fluttershy is a close second, hence why she's dead).

the Starlight bit goes by real fast given the way you paced earlier scenes

Running out of time, I'd say. I'm currently making rewrites on it.

>>Posh
In search of a starting point, I based the whole setting on my older story Springtime for Shimmer. For the love of God, don't read it. This one is rather tame in comparison.

>>Rao

Now as for the story itself, I think I agree that you don't quite lean hard enough into the absurdity with Fluttershy's suicide.

She kills herself because she witnessed Rainbow Dash punching Sunset during a discussion about proboscis monkeys. Frankly, I'm unsure how is that considered not absurd enough.

>>scifipony
I'm pretty sure the author meant the canon character named Raven, though... Depending on the episode, she either works for Mayor Mare or Princess Celestia.