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Colour Contagion · Original Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
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All I'm Saying Is, It Could Work
"Well, what do we think?" Gus said.

I shook my head. "What do you mean, 'what do we think?' It's obviously a trap."

And it was. The hill in front of us was a perfect dome. There was a tunnel in the side of it leading to a large room within. Both tunnel and room were paved with smooth concrete. In the center of the room, was the trap: a pedestal with a big red button on top. What clinched it was the sign. Big letters on the walls said "Emergency GECK: in case of nuclear apocalypse, press button to restore civilization."

"Come on, who would be stupid enough to press that?"

"Us," Gus replied.

I couldn't argue that one. From the sound of it, neither could anyone else.

"Sooo, should we press it?" Steve said.

I swear to God. "Yep, come on everybody, let's go press the button that will kill us."

"I mean..." Sharon said, "It depends. How is this thing going to kill us?"

"It's not going to kill us, guys. Look at the sign. Where do you see anything about killing?"

I, being the leader here, actually answered Sharon's question. "Bomb probably. Somebody filled that pedestal up with a bunch of old land mines or some shit like that. Press the button and it all goes boom.

"And Steve, first, it's too good to be true; second, it's impossible; third, and you should get this, it's a Fallout reference, what makes you think anything Fallout is going to do good things."

Sharon kept on staring at the button. So did everyone else.

"You're not being serious here, are you? You're not really thinking about pressing it?"

"Well what's the worst that could happen?"

I threw my hands in the air.

"Eh, there's worse ways to go," said Meghan. "It's better than the wasteland."

I sighed. I did have to admit, post-apocalyptic wastelands really aren't fun places to live.

Sharon raised a finger. "You know, it might not be a bomb."

"Sure," I said. "You're right, maybe it will do what the sign says."

"Well, what if it just locks us in instead? What if was set up by a bunch of raiders to trap people, and then they'll come back and do things to us."

"Okay, great. So here are our choices then. We can press the button, and have a 50/50 chance of getting blown up or eaten by raiders, or we could just get the hell out of here like normal people."

"Like all the normal people who decided that nuclear war was a good idea?" Gus said.

"Goddammit, let's get this over with, then." I walk into the room and stand in front of the button. Everyone else did the same.

"Just to be clear, we're doing this to kill ourselves, not to restore the wasteland, right?" I said.

I got a round of yeses.

"I still think there's a chance it will do that," Steve said. "But if it doesn't—hold on a sec."

He shrugged his pack off and started digging in it. We all groaned as he retrieved a battered trilby and set it on his head.

"For the millionth time, there is no such thing as classy in a nuclear wasteland," Meghan said.

"I know that. This isn't for you philistines. This is for when I get to Equestria."

I can't wait to blow myself up.

"Steve, I don't know how to tell you this, but you don't go to Equestria when you die," Meghan said.

He huffed. "Look, if you know somewhere that still has internet that I can go to to shitpost, I'd love to hear about it. Besides, believing that's a whole lot better than reality."

Meghan wouldn't let it go. "There hasn't been TV or internet in a decade. It's still ridiculous."

"Says the one who thinks people go to Japan when they die," Steve fired back.

"Okay, look—"

"Guys, guys," I said. "Let's focus. Please." I held my hand out over the button. One by one the others did too. "Goodbye, you idiots," I said as we all brought out hands down.

It exploded as soon as we touched it. There was a bright flash, and I was thrown backwards. I assumed the others were too, but I couldn't see anymore. Or hear.

That was a bomb, all right.

Unfortunately, I was still alive.

"Jesus Christ," I thought as I passed out.
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#1 · 1
So I found this pretty funny. I mean, it's not my favourite comedy premise I've ever seen, and I haven't played fallout so that may have hurt (or helped?) my experience, but the dialogue is good, and the jokes are evolving in a way that flows pretty well. I don't know how well this will do on my slate or on others', but I still enjoyed it. So thanks for writing!
#2 · 1
· · >>Samey90
Well, first, paving a room with smooth concrete sounds a bit odd to my ears. "Paved" evokes cobbles, not concrete. Layered? Covered? Coated? W/e, anyway who cares?

The dialogue feels like talking heads, because nothing really much happens aside from it. Also, please, avoid Equestria in OF rounds. It’s like you can’t get rid of your pony plushie when getting out in the real world.

Otherwise… It’s pretty linear and one-track. I mean, we know pretty much from the start they’ll be stupid enough to push the button, because otherwise the end would be quite bland, wouldn't it?

So, yeah, there’s some good lines in this, but it’s not super peachy either.

PS: Cassius had to explain me the video game references that I obviously didn't get. Let it be repeated here that you’re not supposed to write for a clique or a happy-few. If you put “dog-whistle” like sentences in your fic, that’s bad. Subsequently demoted the ranking by a few notches to account for this :/
#3 ·
· · >>axxuy
The dialogue feels like talking heads, because nothing really much happens aside from it.

I'd say this story could use a few less characters. Every line, I got a new name (I think there was the narrator, Gus, Steve, Sharon, and Meghan, and most of them were pretty much interchangeable).

"Just to be clear, we're doing this to kill ourselves, not to restore the wasteland, right?" I said.

I got a round of yeses.

Everyone who survived the apocalypse is a millenial... xD
#4 ·
Alternate Title: That ain't it, bro.
#5 · 4
I'm not going to lie: this wasn't my most inspired story. I mean, it's basically a 700 word suicide joke. If I was going to post this anywhere else, the synopsis would basically be what >>Samey90 said:
Everyone who survived the apocalypse is a millenial

Thanks for reading it though.