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V7b9
Gold medal
On the Verge
FiM Short Story
1st
100%
464
First of Fall
Gold medal
Crossing Over
Friendship is Short Shorts Short Story
1st
100%
455
The Memory
Mortarboard
Under the Surface
Original Short Story
6th
58%
251
ASCII of a Wave
Silver medalLightbulb
Let's Make It Quick
Friendship is Short Shorts Short Short
2nd
83%
195
Expert Amateur
Bronze medal
Under New Management
Original Minific
3rd
80%
155
Lifestyle Gadgets
Bronze medal
Discrepancy
Friendship is Short Shorts Short Short
3rd
71%
152
It Screams
Ribbon
No Such Thing as an Unimportant Day
Original Minific
5th
60%
99
The Trip
Ribbon
I Did My Best
Original Short Story
5th
33%
81
Bartown, USA
Confetti
Through A Mirror, Brightly
FiM Minific
8th
46%
67
Endless Lawns Below
Ribbon
They Stood Against the Sky
Original Short Story
14th
24%
60
Man Molded Over
#21764 · 4
·
Hype train's a'rolling! Good luck everyone.
#23021 · 4
· on First of Fall
Thank you all very much for your compliments and critique! >>Trick_Question and >>Miller Minus, I shared your doubts about the ending as-is. I think taking your advice and doing a little bit more in the way of tightening up the "who's learning what" moral is gonna lead to a much more satisfying conclusion.
#12881 · 3
· on Cheap Easy Portalfare
>>horizon
>>Trick_Question
>>AndrewRogue
>>Dubs_Rewatcher
>>Ranmilia
>>Monokeras
>>libertydude

Thank you all so much for such a wealth of critique! I'm absolutely blown away by all the wonderful feedback you've been kind enough to leave.
#22970 · 3
· on It Wasn't Alive in the First Place... · >>PinoyPony
It's been awhile since I've read a fanfic that could legitimately be a show episode. The character interactions, while a bit wooden at times, are really cute. You've got your characters dialed in!

The whole premise, while fascinating, is delivered in a lukewarm way. The drama of changeling melts coming to life doesn't feel like the main point of the story, partially on account of how the first scene with Rarity takes up half the total story (Bach's comment touches on that very well!). I would even say you could take out the beginning scene with Rarity, perhaps replacing it with a more streamlined exposition-y bit with Twilight and Ocellus (or any of the students working on the molt exoskeleton in the beginning). There's a ton of potential for that "freak out, then realize everything is okay" kind of bait and switch I think you're going for. Just keep looking for new angles and this story will come together really well.
#16323 · 2
·
Finished in the nick of time! Good luck to everyone still hammering away. You're almost there!
#22734 · 2
· on Overseeing Her Domain · >>GroaningGreyAgony
The texture really deals the deal here. Pinoy's description of tv static is spot-on. That plus the nice dollop of asymmetry between sun and moon make for a really killer picture.
#23197 · 2
· on Callback
Big thumbs up from me on this one! Choosing not to name the protagonists during their sections and using "friend" instead was a excellent mood-elevator. It gives everything an extra layer of dreaminess. I would love to see Discord's crafting of the rope expanded on--as it sits right now, it's coming off as out of left field, especially considering how there was no mention of it in the prior storm scene.

Excellent work!
#23862 · 2
· on Unhappy Accident
THIS GIRL ANGERY

On the whole this piece is really solid. Scribbling over the horn like you did was a genius move. It's so meta and it captures Tempest's anger in such a clever way.
#24411 · 2
·
>>CoffeeMinion I think the time change is a good move! Those Sunday night/Monday morning hacking sessions can be brutal. Now there's no excuse to get it done at a reasonable hour.
#24448 · 2
· on One Thousand Years of Solitude · >>Meridian_Prime
Very brave choice to add the kiss! It's right on the edge of acceptability, but in my opinion you made it work. The lack of romance lends it an air of desperation, or maybe resignation. At any rate, it was a gamble that paid off.

Thank you for sharing!