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The Endless Struggle · Original Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
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In-between the worlds
"Where should I live?" The girl across the table looks to me for answers. Customers within earshot have long turned dead silent. Whether out of fear or respect, most of them have opted to not look our way.

In her eyes and in her voice
I see a bleeding cowardice
To see her want and still submit
It kills me just a bit


In front of me sits what seems to be a woman, perpetually in her youth. Her name is Foria, and she is a special kind of beautiful.

"Why are you asking me? You'll be free to go wherever you want and do whatever you want to do. It's not like anything is stopping you once your contract runs out."

"I figured that much." She rolls eyes with a false look of annoyance. Some habits never die. Her act though, if you can even call it that, is betrayed by how obvious it is that she's ready to break into tears.

"So what are you asking?"

She fidgets and wipes her eyes. A gas fills the air here that elongates one's sense of time, so there is no rush. She could take however long she wants to answer, but social conventions I guess prompt a speedy response.

"I don't know. Don't you care even a little?" The edge in her voice pushes it louder. "I've been with you for god knows how many perceptual years, and you're fine with me just leaving?"

"You know that's not how it works. I would have pushed to keep you around forever if it weren't for the legal issues."

"Well the law is fucked up!" A few heads turn briefly before turning back, once again pretending to not be eavesdropping. "Sorry," she says after a moment.

"What do you want, Foria?"

"Stop asking me that!" She immediately follows it up with a wince causing a tear to escape. "Sorry!" she says as she wipes it away. "Sorry." She waits a moment for me to say something, but then decides to continue. "I just want to do my part to make the world a better place. I want to have some role in building a future that matters. I was hoping I could do it with you."

I look into her one human eye. "Really? You still think that’s what you want?"




I'll change the world and change its heart
I'll tear its frozen soul apart
I'll change the world and find my place
No matter what it takes


No matter what it takes.

"This isn't real, is it, Foria?"

I sigh. "No, it's not. What does it matter?"

"I'm not going to let you keep indulging. Please, just think about what it is you want, really think about it. And please, wherever you choose to spend your life, don't let it be he—"

I cut him off and clear the room so I can be alone. I think my self-pity has been sufficiently mixed with indignation, and I no longer want to continue the simulation. I take a moment to calm down and steady my breath.

Over the next few minutes, I find myself once again increasingly surrounded by monitors, graphs, equations, and news feeds. Whatever it is I'm supposed to want, it can wait until my work is done.
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#1 · 2
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I've read this three times and still am not sure what this story is about. I'll come back to it later and see if I can make more sense of it, but I think the author is trying to compress too many ideas into too short a space
#2 · 2
· · >>FrontSevens
This is weird with a lot of awkward phrasings. I’m not certain the verses add anything substantial to the story.

The sudden turn of PoV in the last section is somewhat unsettling.

What I get is that this is some sort of fake dialogue in a computer generated world between an AI entity and a human who has projected herself into that world. But I'm not even sure if this is right or what the takeaway is.
#3 ·
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Hm. I'm not entirely sure what it is about yet, but it does seem to hint at some good stuff. I like it, but will have to come back later.
#4 ·
· · >>FrontSevens
Vague, vague, vague. The entire first part is a vague conversation, in the second part we learn that it was all a virtual simulation, but it doesn't clear things up at all.

Like... Why is Foria described as "what seems to be a woman"? What "contract" are they talking about? What "legal issues" force her to leave, and where exactly is she leaving from? Why does she have just "one human eye"? Nothing of it is even hint

I can sort-of understand that Foria is trying to "improve the world" in some way, but I don't know how does the conversation fit into it. The driving question seems to be "what does Foria really want?", but I have no idea who Foria even is, or why should I care about her life at all.

Also, if this dialogue is just a simulation, then how can the entire first part be written from the POV of her conservation partner? Isn't he virtual, i.e. nonexistent, and so non-sentient? And if he's some kind of an advanced AI, then why does he take so long to realize that the conversation is just a virtual simulation? Is this set in a world where AIs can temporarily forget their nature and believe that they're real humans?
Post by Shadowed_Song , deleted
#6 ·
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Mostly agreed with >>JudgeDeadd here. Too vague for me to get invested in, and I feel like I didn't have an opportunity to care about the characters. I also feel like I didn't have enough time/words to absorb what was going on, exactly, and I don't really have the time or energy for story-puzzles.

Agreed with >>Monokeras about the POV change in the middle. I had to double- and triple-take the start of the scene because I assumed it was still the original narrator and it wasn't clear that it was Fiora.