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The Worst Medicine
#8364 · 3
· on Sentinel
So yeah, Sentinel is my story. Consensus seems to be the writing is all right, but that there's no tension (which I agree with).

I planned on giving a reason for the guardian being there, something like the grave he guards being that of a close friend or family member. I also thought about giving him an internal conflict of wanting to die but being unable. But it was late and I was tired so I went to bed instead :P

Thanks for the reviews, and good luck with the final to those of you still in the game.

ps. For those of you with weak google-fu, Anapa is the Egyptian vocalisation of ı͗npw, the name of Anubis.

>>RawCringe >>JudgeDeadd >>Not_A_Hat >>Monokeras >>Monokeras >>Shadowed_Song >>AndrewRogue >>FrontSevens
#8143 · 2
· on Greatness
Not a story, feels like the author venting. I wasn't hooked at all, and besides, this kind of thinking comes across as pretty ridiculous to me, so not a big fan of this one.
#3546 · 1
>>Baal Bunny
Or perhaps a spectral phantom

Before I knew spectral could also mean ghost-like, I used the alias Spectral Shade - "colourful shadow" (edgy, right?). Of course, it could also mean "Ghostly Ghost".
#8052 · 1
· on Third Law of Motion · >>Fenton
I don't understand what you're going for here. The first paragraph and last two lines feel out of place, and there's some spelling/grammatical/formatting errors.
#8053 · 1
· on The Castle in the Clouds
Too bad it wasn't finished. I liked the lore in the beginning - wasn't very interested in the climbing man, however. If you ever revisit this, I say write more about the fairies.

the Castle in the Clouds is where you can catch a fairy of your very own

And then you go on to say you have to be invited to even get there.

edit: If the stuff about fairies didn't really matter and the whole point was the ending, that's pretty clever, but not really a story and a bit too meta.
#8190 · 1
· on Hammerfall
I like it, then again I am a fan of this kind of fiction. The technobabble wasn't that bad, imo.
#10607 · 1
· · >>The_Letter_J
Someone please explain what Ot means. I never learned, and I've been afraid of asking.
#83 ·
· · >>Spectral >>John Cena
Tbh, I think this is way too barebones at the moment. No notifications, no pages, no avatars, no way of finding replies to a comment, finding out which comment someone is replying to makes you lose track of the comment you were reading. Also no avatars, no emoticons, and no "alias pages" - I'd love to find my way back to people's fimfiction pages from here - perhaps by letting every alias include a link. Also no comment preview.

Images maybe work? Testing below:

Can I edit a comment? Yepp.
#84 ·
· · >>Trick_Question
Forgot to mention: this is a step in the right direction, of course. Expecting people to sign up for fimfic accounts for general fiction contests is dumb.
#91 ·
· · >>gardrek >>Trick_Question
I was confused by this, too, until I realised. Maybe hide the thumbs until voting begins?