Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Show rules for this event
A talk with Celestia
Princess Twilight’s first gala was a tremendous success.
Well, technically speaking, it had only started an hour ago, but Rarity firmly believed her friend’s event would be terrific. Any party Rarity attended always was.
She made her way through the crowds of ponies, smiling at them as though this was her gala. And it was, in a way, since Twilight had practically begged for her to keep watch and make sure everything went swimmingly.
After a lovely chat with Fancy Pants, she made her way to the ‘VIP Section’. In other words, the enclosed spot where the princesses were supposed to mingle during the gala. Only the crème de la crème could enter, and Rarity supposed she would grace them with her presence in a little while.
Right now, however, she noticed Princess Celestia was missing, and she assumed that was the cause of Twilight’s look of concern.
Maybe she’s fashionably late, Rarity thought, trotting off and settling down in a nice solitary spot near the bar.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk, but why move around when ponies would come to her naturally?
“May I sit here?” a voice said.
Rarity turned. “But of cour—Princess Celestia?!”
Celestia did say anything at first, patting down on her dress – one of Rarity’s own designs, thank you very much – before sitting down and taking a sip of her tea. Eventually, she finally turned to Rarity.
“Who?”
Rarity blinked. “…Princess Celestia...?”
“Oh no, I’m not a princess,” she replied, levitating her invitation over to Rarity. “I am only Celestia.”
Indeed, looking it over, Rarity realized it was addressed to “Celestia”, and no princess title was included. No doubt a miss-sight at the time of printing. Even more so, when Rarity looked up to return the invitation, she noticed Celestia was lacking her usual lovely crown.
“I see...”
Celestia cleared her throat. “How are you, Rarity?”
Rarity cleared her throat as well, eager to wash away how disconcerted she felt. “I’m quite alright, Princ—“
“Who?”
Rarity bit down on her lip. “I’m quite alright… Celestia,” she said, and she felt both shamefully thrilled by being on first name basis with Princess Celestia. So many nobles would be green with envy!
“Princess Celestia!”
Rarity turned around to find Twilight rushing towards them.
“Princess!” she exclaimed upon reaching them. “There you are! I’m so sorry! Spike made a mistake with your invitation, and forgot your title! Did you have to wait outside?!”
“Twilight,” Celestia said, her voice kind yet stern, “As my invitation states, I am not a Princess, just a pony and I am having a lovely conversation with Rar—“
“I’ll go print you a new one right away!” Twilight blurted out, rushing away.
Celestia sighed in reply, and Rarity laughed.
“Dare I venture you’d like a day as a ‘normal’ pony?”
Celestia frowned. “I’d like take away my title and give it to somepony else, yes.”
Rarity gasped theatrically. “Really?! That's why you're here, isn't it? Oh, Princess, I'm honored! You don't even have to give me the wings or the walk through limbo! Just the crown will do!”
“Is that what Twilight said it was? Limbo?” Celestia asked, laughing. She brightened up and asked, “What do ‘normal’ ponies discuss at galas?”
Rarity hummed thoughtfully. “Well, you know, our daily lives, the news, gossip. Nothing special, frankly.”
“Gossip?” Celestia looked conspiratorially to her sides before leaning down and whispering, “You know… Raven told me she saw Duke Tulip Sword getting on a train to Puerto Caballo last weekend with Countess Lavender Hoof.”
Rarity nearly snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s dating Lilly Garden, and besides, everypony knows he was too sick that weekend to even attend the fashion festiv...” She gasped, jumping away from Celestia. “No! He didn’t!” She put her hooves on her mouth. “…Did he?”
Celestia sat up straight and took a long sip of tea.
“Do you even realize what this means?!”
“Yes, I imagine it’ll be quite the social disaster to deal with for Princess Celestia,” the mare replied. She turned to Rarity and smiled. “I assume I have your complete discretion?”
“Yes, but—! You must tell me more! It'll be the scandal of the year!”
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight called, an invitation floating above her. “I’m back!”
No sooner had she arrived did Rarity take the invitation and stash it inside a nearby flowerpot.
“Rari—mmph!”
“Now, now, darling, be quiet!" Rarity chastised, magicking Twilight's mouth shut. "Celestia and I have criminally important affairs to discuss!”
Well, technically speaking, it had only started an hour ago, but Rarity firmly believed her friend’s event would be terrific. Any party Rarity attended always was.
She made her way through the crowds of ponies, smiling at them as though this was her gala. And it was, in a way, since Twilight had practically begged for her to keep watch and make sure everything went swimmingly.
After a lovely chat with Fancy Pants, she made her way to the ‘VIP Section’. In other words, the enclosed spot where the princesses were supposed to mingle during the gala. Only the crème de la crème could enter, and Rarity supposed she would grace them with her presence in a little while.
Right now, however, she noticed Princess Celestia was missing, and she assumed that was the cause of Twilight’s look of concern.
Maybe she’s fashionably late, Rarity thought, trotting off and settling down in a nice solitary spot near the bar.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk, but why move around when ponies would come to her naturally?
“May I sit here?” a voice said.
Rarity turned. “But of cour—Princess Celestia?!”
Celestia did say anything at first, patting down on her dress – one of Rarity’s own designs, thank you very much – before sitting down and taking a sip of her tea. Eventually, she finally turned to Rarity.
“Who?”
Rarity blinked. “…Princess Celestia...?”
“Oh no, I’m not a princess,” she replied, levitating her invitation over to Rarity. “I am only Celestia.”
Indeed, looking it over, Rarity realized it was addressed to “Celestia”, and no princess title was included. No doubt a miss-sight at the time of printing. Even more so, when Rarity looked up to return the invitation, she noticed Celestia was lacking her usual lovely crown.
“I see...”
Celestia cleared her throat. “How are you, Rarity?”
Rarity cleared her throat as well, eager to wash away how disconcerted she felt. “I’m quite alright, Princ—“
“Who?”
Rarity bit down on her lip. “I’m quite alright… Celestia,” she said, and she felt both shamefully thrilled by being on first name basis with Princess Celestia. So many nobles would be green with envy!
“Princess Celestia!”
Rarity turned around to find Twilight rushing towards them.
“Princess!” she exclaimed upon reaching them. “There you are! I’m so sorry! Spike made a mistake with your invitation, and forgot your title! Did you have to wait outside?!”
“Twilight,” Celestia said, her voice kind yet stern, “As my invitation states, I am not a Princess, just a pony and I am having a lovely conversation with Rar—“
“I’ll go print you a new one right away!” Twilight blurted out, rushing away.
Celestia sighed in reply, and Rarity laughed.
“Dare I venture you’d like a day as a ‘normal’ pony?”
Celestia frowned. “I’d like take away my title and give it to somepony else, yes.”
Rarity gasped theatrically. “Really?! That's why you're here, isn't it? Oh, Princess, I'm honored! You don't even have to give me the wings or the walk through limbo! Just the crown will do!”
“Is that what Twilight said it was? Limbo?” Celestia asked, laughing. She brightened up and asked, “What do ‘normal’ ponies discuss at galas?”
Rarity hummed thoughtfully. “Well, you know, our daily lives, the news, gossip. Nothing special, frankly.”
“Gossip?” Celestia looked conspiratorially to her sides before leaning down and whispering, “You know… Raven told me she saw Duke Tulip Sword getting on a train to Puerto Caballo last weekend with Countess Lavender Hoof.”
Rarity nearly snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s dating Lilly Garden, and besides, everypony knows he was too sick that weekend to even attend the fashion festiv...” She gasped, jumping away from Celestia. “No! He didn’t!” She put her hooves on her mouth. “…Did he?”
Celestia sat up straight and took a long sip of tea.
“Do you even realize what this means?!”
“Yes, I imagine it’ll be quite the social disaster to deal with for Princess Celestia,” the mare replied. She turned to Rarity and smiled. “I assume I have your complete discretion?”
“Yes, but—! You must tell me more! It'll be the scandal of the year!”
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight called, an invitation floating above her. “I’m back!”
No sooner had she arrived did Rarity take the invitation and stash it inside a nearby flowerpot.
“Rari—mmph!”
“Now, now, darling, be quiet!" Rarity chastised, magicking Twilight's mouth shut. "Celestia and I have criminally important affairs to discuss!”
Any party Rarity attends is terrific, huh? I think that first Grand Galloping Gala disproves that assertion.
This one was interesting. It took me a moment to realize that the narrative voice was third-person Rarity, especially given the moment of explicit internal monologue. At first, the voice seemed weirdly stilted or affected. Once I grasped that it was Rarity and understood how to properly emphasize it in my mind, it flowed a lot better. You may benefit from making this first-person to clarify that. Plus, once you don't have to worry about the word limit, you'll be able to set the scene better. I assume they're in Twilight's castle, but I'm not entirely sure.
This story was quite enjoyable once I properly wrapped my head around it. Very fun little character piece for both Rarity and Celestia.
This one was interesting. It took me a moment to realize that the narrative voice was third-person Rarity, especially given the moment of explicit internal monologue. At first, the voice seemed weirdly stilted or affected. Once I grasped that it was Rarity and understood how to properly emphasize it in my mind, it flowed a lot better. You may benefit from making this first-person to clarify that. Plus, once you don't have to worry about the word limit, you'll be able to set the scene better. I assume they're in Twilight's castle, but I'm not entirely sure.
This story was quite enjoyable once I properly wrapped my head around it. Very fun little character piece for both Rarity and Celestia.
Quite fun slice of life, even if Rarity seems to be a bit trapped in her season one vision of high society. I usually think that she matured a bit in the meanwhile, but then that may be more my own head-canon of the character than reality.
The chat with Celestia was delightful and felt right. The third person narration worked fine in my opinion, and will work even better when you have enough space to set the scene.
Nice story that will benefit from an expanded word-count.
The chat with Celestia was delightful and felt right. The third person narration worked fine in my opinion, and will work even better when you have enough space to set the scene.
Nice story that will benefit from an expanded word-count.
Hmmmm. I rather like this story. A nice bit of slice of life. I do have a few quibbles though... First off, Rarity seems a touch OOC... Just a bit too... I don't know? Conceited? Arrogant? Self absorbed? Every party she attends is wonderful? It's practically her gala? She'd grace the VIP section with her presence when she was good and ready? Princess Celestia says she'd like to give her position to someone else, and her response is, even jokingly, to accept? I'd expect Rarity to be a bit more, I don't know? Subtle? Coy? Self effacing? She wasn't horrible, or majorly OOC... But just enough to distract me from the story.
Secondly, I can't imagine Twilight Sparkle, Princess of CDO (It's like OCD, but alphabetized!) to mess up her mentor's invitation. Though I can hit the "I Believe" button on that without too much difficulty.
Princess Celestia, on the other hand, I can completely see acting just like that. My only quibble with her is that nopony else is swamping her when she shows up.
Don't take those criticisms as too harsh though, because over all I thought this story was quite good and enjoyable. :)
Secondly, I can't imagine Twilight Sparkle, Princess of CDO (It's like OCD, but alphabetized!) to mess up her mentor's invitation. Though I can hit the "I Believe" button on that without too much difficulty.
Princess Celestia, on the other hand, I can completely see acting just like that. My only quibble with her is that nopony else is swamping her when she shows up.
Don't take those criticisms as too harsh though, because over all I thought this story was quite good and enjoyable. :)
My one quibble here is the ending. I mean, it ends just so suddenly. Up to that? Rarity feels like Rarity, Celestia feels like Celestia, and I was enjoying everything quite well. As I say so often, I'd like another few thousand words set in this storyline, it's a fun one.
Post by
Morning Sun
, deleted
I can't help but feel this takes rather too long to really get going.
Once it does, though, it's fun and interesting character piece, with a few good jokes in there. Though with the way Rarity is talking herself up, I had to read her 'acceptance of the crown' twice to be sure she was actually joking there. I mean, I know she's proud, but really...
Once it does, though, it's fun and interesting character piece, with a few good jokes in there. Though with the way Rarity is talking herself up, I had to read her 'acceptance of the crown' twice to be sure she was actually joking there. I mean, I know she's proud, but really...
“miss-sight” should perhaps be “oversight.”
“I’d like take away my title and give it to somepony else, yes.” < Dropped a word in the rush.
I like the dialogue and characterisation. Well done.
“I’d like take away my title and give it to somepony else, yes.” < Dropped a word in the rush.
I like the dialogue and characterisation. Well done.