Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Show rules for this event
I'm Discord, I'm Helping
“Now don’t take this the wrong way,” began Fluttershy. “It’s just that… well…”
“If you want ponies to like you, ‘helping’ them is the last thing you should do,” concluded Rainbow.
“What’s wrong with my help?” demanded Discord.
“Well darling, when I complained I had nopony modeling for me, you decided to help by making my ponniquins more ‘lifelike.’ I had to spend the whole day chasing them down.”
“And even if they harvest themselves, Ah can’t convince nopony that ‘jumpin’ apples’ are like jumpin’ beans. Nopony wants to buy them.”
“But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help!” interjected Twilight. “But maybe run your ideas by somepony else first.”
“I’d be happy to help you help ponies, Discord,” offered Fluttershy.
“You sure Flutters?” asked Rainbow.
“Of course. But I have to go feed my animal friends now, Discord. Maybe you could think of some ideas and tell me them later?”
*Thump*
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
The tea inside Fluttershy’s teacup rippled.
*THUMP*
Suddenly her cottage’s door flung open, and a draconequus flew in the window.
“Fluttershy, what are you doing under the table?”
“I heard these giant footsteps and-” Fluttershy froze as she saw what was outside her door. “AAAAAHH! Dragon!”
“Oh don’t be silly Fluttershy. Rexy’s not a dragon. He’s a tyrannosaur.”
“Aren’t dinosaurs extinct?”
“They were,” chuckled Discord.
“Why did you bring a tyrannosaur back to life?”
“Well, you wanted me to come up with ideas to help ponies. Then I got to thinking about your animal friends, and how you love making new ones. And how you are a pony. So I decided to help you make some new animal friends. Thus, Rexy!” reasoned Discord.
“Oh, Discord. While I do like your idea of bringing back animals from extinction, how about something a bit smaller.” Fluttershy took another look at Rexy. “And less toothy. Plus to bring back a species, you’d need at least a breeding pair, preferably more.”
“Hmmm, something smaller and less toothy.”
“What are these things?” yelled Applejack as she bucked a timberwolf-sized bird through a produce cart.
“MY CABBAGES!”
“Titanis walleri,” responded Twilight, blasting a pair with her magic. “But they’re supposed to be extinct!”
“Well tell them that!” shouted Rainbow as she tackled another one.
Pinkie shot confetti into the face of a bird sneaking up behind Rarity. “Has anypony seen Fluttershy?”
“How do you like my terrorbirds?”
“They’re destroying the town!”
“I actually think it looks better-”
“Discord!”
“Oh, fine,” Discord humphed. A snap of his talons and the terrorbirds found themselves in the Everfree. “I’m not helping, am I?”
“I’m sure if you keep trying, you’ll get it. How about something even smaller. And without terror in the name. And remember, tell me first.”
“Do you love it?”
Fluttershy stared at the Attercopus. “Uhh… some ponies… nope,” she stammered.
Discord’s face fell. “I already put one in everypony’s basement,” his mouth stated from the floor.
“Thank you for restoring Ponyville, Discord. Oh! You helped!” exclaimed Fluttershy, who promptly morphed into a certain draconequus. “It’s not helping if I’m the reason Ponyville was burned to the ground!”
Discord stopped as he heard the sound of a mare crying. Somepony he could help? Investigating, he discovered the sobbing crystal mare on a train station bench, with a stallion by her side consoling her. “The specialist may not have been able to help, honey, but we can always apply for adoption.”
One snap of his tail, and he was cradling an infant foal. The colt’s white crystal coat, while letting light through, failed to sparkle or shine, making him nearly invisible.
*Buurrrp*
The foal belched, releasing a huge gust, leaving Discord’s face comically frozen in a look of surprise until he shook off the ice. “We’re going to have to keep that under control, or you’ll be discovered much too soon.” With a tap of his claw he prevented any more surges.
With that done, he transformed into a stork and placed a foal-containing bundle in front of the foal’s new mother. Shocked, the couple failed to put together a response as Discord tipped his cap and flew away.
“All aboard for the Crystal Empire!”
As he lit down behind some bushes to watch the new family board their train, he was startled by a voice.
“See Discord, you can help.”
“You saw that Fluttershy?”
“Mhmm.”
“I did help, didn’t I? And I even got to bring back a (sub)species!”
“When did you bring back- how do you speak parentheses?”
“If you want ponies to like you, ‘helping’ them is the last thing you should do,” concluded Rainbow.
“What’s wrong with my help?” demanded Discord.
“Well darling, when I complained I had nopony modeling for me, you decided to help by making my ponniquins more ‘lifelike.’ I had to spend the whole day chasing them down.”
“And even if they harvest themselves, Ah can’t convince nopony that ‘jumpin’ apples’ are like jumpin’ beans. Nopony wants to buy them.”
“But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help!” interjected Twilight. “But maybe run your ideas by somepony else first.”
“I’d be happy to help you help ponies, Discord,” offered Fluttershy.
“You sure Flutters?” asked Rainbow.
“Of course. But I have to go feed my animal friends now, Discord. Maybe you could think of some ideas and tell me them later?”
*Thump*
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
The tea inside Fluttershy’s teacup rippled.
*THUMP*
Suddenly her cottage’s door flung open, and a draconequus flew in the window.
“Fluttershy, what are you doing under the table?”
“I heard these giant footsteps and-” Fluttershy froze as she saw what was outside her door. “AAAAAHH! Dragon!”
“Oh don’t be silly Fluttershy. Rexy’s not a dragon. He’s a tyrannosaur.”
“Aren’t dinosaurs extinct?”
“They were,” chuckled Discord.
“Why did you bring a tyrannosaur back to life?”
“Well, you wanted me to come up with ideas to help ponies. Then I got to thinking about your animal friends, and how you love making new ones. And how you are a pony. So I decided to help you make some new animal friends. Thus, Rexy!” reasoned Discord.
“Oh, Discord. While I do like your idea of bringing back animals from extinction, how about something a bit smaller.” Fluttershy took another look at Rexy. “And less toothy. Plus to bring back a species, you’d need at least a breeding pair, preferably more.”
“Hmmm, something smaller and less toothy.”
“What are these things?” yelled Applejack as she bucked a timberwolf-sized bird through a produce cart.
“MY CABBAGES!”
“Titanis walleri,” responded Twilight, blasting a pair with her magic. “But they’re supposed to be extinct!”
“Well tell them that!” shouted Rainbow as she tackled another one.
Pinkie shot confetti into the face of a bird sneaking up behind Rarity. “Has anypony seen Fluttershy?”
“How do you like my terrorbirds?”
“They’re destroying the town!”
“I actually think it looks better-”
“Discord!”
“Oh, fine,” Discord humphed. A snap of his talons and the terrorbirds found themselves in the Everfree. “I’m not helping, am I?”
“I’m sure if you keep trying, you’ll get it. How about something even smaller. And without terror in the name. And remember, tell me first.”
“Do you love it?”
Fluttershy stared at the Attercopus. “Uhh… some ponies… nope,” she stammered.
Discord’s face fell. “I already put one in everypony’s basement,” his mouth stated from the floor.
“Thank you for restoring Ponyville, Discord. Oh! You helped!” exclaimed Fluttershy, who promptly morphed into a certain draconequus. “It’s not helping if I’m the reason Ponyville was burned to the ground!”
Discord stopped as he heard the sound of a mare crying. Somepony he could help? Investigating, he discovered the sobbing crystal mare on a train station bench, with a stallion by her side consoling her. “The specialist may not have been able to help, honey, but we can always apply for adoption.”
One snap of his tail, and he was cradling an infant foal. The colt’s white crystal coat, while letting light through, failed to sparkle or shine, making him nearly invisible.
*Buurrrp*
The foal belched, releasing a huge gust, leaving Discord’s face comically frozen in a look of surprise until he shook off the ice. “We’re going to have to keep that under control, or you’ll be discovered much too soon.” With a tap of his claw he prevented any more surges.
With that done, he transformed into a stork and placed a foal-containing bundle in front of the foal’s new mother. Shocked, the couple failed to put together a response as Discord tipped his cap and flew away.
“All aboard for the Crystal Empire!”
As he lit down behind some bushes to watch the new family board their train, he was startled by a voice.
“See Discord, you can help.”
“You saw that Fluttershy?”
“Mhmm.”
“I did help, didn’t I? And I even got to bring back a (sub)species!”
“When did you bring back- how do you speak parentheses?”
The concept is fun, I grinned a couple of times and as Fluttershy said smaller and without terror in the name (great line by the way) I was almost certain her would bring back the pony equivalent of smallpox.
That said it would probably have worked better if you added a few more descriptions and used one scene less. The word-count is a terrible tyrant, so you'll have to make every little thing count. If you want to write (almost) pure dialogue, then it would work better if it escalated through a longer build up in which the characters give us a bit more context in the scene. It is a very difficult format to manage and it can easily happen that the rhythm of the story suffers greatly even because only one or two slightly sub-par lines.
That said it would probably have worked better if you added a few more descriptions and used one scene less. The word-count is a terrible tyrant, so you'll have to make every little thing count. If you want to write (almost) pure dialogue, then it would work better if it escalated through a longer build up in which the characters give us a bit more context in the scene. It is a very difficult format to manage and it can easily happen that the rhythm of the story suffers greatly even because only one or two slightly sub-par lines.
I'm calling out your research: Attercopus are very small, less than a centimeter in span, which is much smaller than the spiders who have appeared on the show. They wouldn't be scary to ponies who weren't highly arachnophobic, and everypony's basement is already teeming with spiders anyway.
I think Fluttershy's last line seems a bit uncharacteristic for her, even if her foil is Discord. Pinkie maybe, but Fluttershy wouldn't ask that even if she could.
I think Fluttershy's last line seems a bit uncharacteristic for her, even if her foil is Discord. Pinkie maybe, but Fluttershy wouldn't ask that even if she could.
Discord is one of my favorite characters. Pair with Fluttershy, and you automatically get my attention. The thing is, though, good Discord needs to have heart, not just randomness. While I can see the recurring joke here that in some strange way he thinks he's helping, it rubs me the wrong way to see him being quite this hardheadedly random. Still, I'll give the story credit for aiming at the juxtaposition of earnestness and missing-the-mark that tends to be a part of writing Discord.
Fun idea but, I dunno, there's a lot of dialogue without much description so the whole thing feels a bit too rushed for me.
And did Discord just... create life? I thought he was going back in time and plucking these extinct animals from their time zones but apparently not.
But... isn't creating life order? I, uh...
I'm thinking too deeply about this aren't I.
And did Discord just... create life? I thought he was going back in time and plucking these extinct animals from their time zones but apparently not.
But... isn't creating life order? I, uh...
I'm thinking too deeply about this aren't I.
My first thought is of Sealab 2021. Not at all a bad thing.
An amusing vignette with strong expansion potential. I think it may have been best to cut the Attercopus scene in this version, simply because you didn’t have enough room to describe them. Still, very nicely done, and I look forward to a larger version.
>>JaketheGinger
It could be argued that all acts of creation are acts of order, given that they manifest an organized structure. Discord clearly disagrees.
An amusing vignette with strong expansion potential. I think it may have been best to cut the Attercopus scene in this version, simply because you didn’t have enough room to describe them. Still, very nicely done, and I look forward to a larger version.
>>JaketheGinger
It could be argued that all acts of creation are acts of order, given that they manifest an organized structure. Discord clearly disagrees.
Okay, all of the other commenters' valid opinions taken into consideration, I liked this story for what it eventually aimed at (um, I think). Seriously, it's your funeral if you're going to trust Discord.
I suspected from the first (and how can you not: Discord, duh!) that he was perfectly in character right to the end.
Creation is the only possible means to chaos. You need something to hang that Chaos/Discord label on. So Discord - as always in the series - creates the means to the end here in some fashion, as he always does. It's his nature. Ponies are good people, and everypony goes along with it, because it's their nature to want to help — they feel good about helping Discord (apparently) feel good about helping—
—even if Discord re-creates the T-Rex. And terrorbirds. And Attercopii. And finally, a sweet little baby windigo. Thanks, Discord! You were so helpful.
The story does need a bit of work, but on the whole I feel like the author did a nice job with this.
Note: Thank you for the huge laugh I got out of Fluttershy's response to the Attercopus. That was priceless.
I suspected from the first (and how can you not: Discord, duh!) that he was perfectly in character right to the end.
Creation is the only possible means to chaos. You need something to hang that Chaos/Discord label on. So Discord - as always in the series - creates the means to the end here in some fashion, as he always does. It's his nature. Ponies are good people, and everypony goes along with it, because it's their nature to want to help — they feel good about helping Discord (apparently) feel good about helping—
—even if Discord re-creates the T-Rex. And terrorbirds. And Attercopii. And finally, a sweet little baby windigo. Thanks, Discord! You were so helpful.
The story does need a bit of work, but on the whole I feel like the author did a nice job with this.
Note: Thank you for the huge laugh I got out of Fluttershy's response to the Attercopus. That was priceless.
>>Southpaw
Hmm. That's actually a good point. I don't know if that changes my ranking of this, but that's probably one of the undercurrents to the story.
Seriously, it's your funeral if you're going to trust Discord.
Hmm. That's actually a good point. I don't know if that changes my ranking of this, but that's probably one of the undercurrents to the story.
>>Trick_Question
The Googling I did suggested 'half meter long spider' which would seem to suggest otherwise. Now, what subspecies did he bring back, if not another Crystal Pony? Glass pony?
The Googling I did suggested 'half meter long spider' which would seem to suggest otherwise. Now, what subspecies did he bring back, if not another Crystal Pony? Glass pony?
>>Morning Sun I interpreted the subspecies to be a baby windigo.
Edit: I also looked up the attercopus and couldn't find any reference to it's possible size, but many critters in that age were very large owing to the much higher level of atmospheric oxygen that existed back then. Since many such creatures did not have muscular breathing mechanisms, their breathing was passive. The greater percentage of O2 allowed for larger critters. My point being that it's not out of the realm of possibility for attercopus to have been much larger than a common house spider. Plus it makes that part of the story that much more hilarious.
Edit: I also looked up the attercopus and couldn't find any reference to it's possible size, but many critters in that age were very large owing to the much higher level of atmospheric oxygen that existed back then. Since many such creatures did not have muscular breathing mechanisms, their breathing was passive. The greater percentage of O2 allowed for larger critters. My point being that it's not out of the realm of possibility for attercopus to have been much larger than a common house spider. Plus it makes that part of the story that much more hilarious.
More like a centimeter. Somepony greatly exaggerated in the media because it's difficult to find the actual size in the journal article, and close-up they look scary. Here:
[img]http://www.pnas.org/content/105/52/20781/F3.medium.gif[/img]
That's the actual fossil. The black bar in B (the black-and white drawing) is one millimeter.
[img]http://www.pnas.org/content/105/52/20781/F3.medium.gif[/img]
That's the actual fossil. The black bar in B (the black-and white drawing) is one millimeter.
>>Morning Sun
>>Trick_Question
Actually, wait. That's an image of a paleozoic comparison to Attercopus. I might be wrong, I'm checking.
>>Trick_Question
Actually, wait. That's an image of a paleozoic comparison to Attercopus. I might be wrong, I'm checking.
>>Morning Sun
>>Trick_Question
Nope, I was correct. Attercopus is comparable to the spider in the image.
If you can find a journal article that says otherwise, let me know!
>>Trick_Question
Nope, I was correct. Attercopus is comparable to the spider in the image.
If you can find a journal article that says otherwise, let me know!