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Destroy the ceiling! Shatter! Rise! Expand
Through every wall, destruction mostly planned!
Advancement must occur despite the breaks,
Despite the voice that hesitates or shakes
When asking "What's the point" or "Whose command?"
It's simple math: the spreading grabs withstand
Another's occupation, ours the brand
That moves us forward. Cue the blasts and quakes!
Destroy the ceiling!
It isn't greed: we'll lend a helping hand
To all who seek to join our merry band.
We love allegience! That's the stuff that makes
The effort worth it, cures the painful aches.
So climb aboard! Prepare your promised land!
Destroy the ceiling!
Through every wall, destruction mostly planned!
Advancement must occur despite the breaks,
Despite the voice that hesitates or shakes
When asking "What's the point" or "Whose command?"
It's simple math: the spreading grabs withstand
Another's occupation, ours the brand
That moves us forward. Cue the blasts and quakes!
Destroy the ceiling!
It isn't greed: we'll lend a helping hand
To all who seek to join our merry band.
We love allegience! That's the stuff that makes
The effort worth it, cures the painful aches.
So climb aboard! Prepare your promised land!
Destroy the ceiling!
I'm not familiar with the poetic form this takes, but it's not a hard structure to figure out, and it adheres well.
This is one of those poems that I could take having several different tones, so it's a really death of the author thing as to which one was intended. On the one hand, I could see it as striving toward progress in a positive way, but a lot of the language feels more aligned with the current political climate of "you'd better agree with us or else," which... yeah, I feel that.
This is one of those poems that I could take having several different tones, so it's a really death of the author thing as to which one was intended. On the one hand, I could see it as striving toward progress in a positive way, but a lot of the language feels more aligned with the current political climate of "you'd better agree with us or else," which... yeah, I feel that.
Thanks, >>Pascoite:
The form is called a rondeau--probably the best-known one in English is John McCrae's "In Flanders Fields". I was definitely aiming for the "you'd better or else" with this one, but swapping out some words will help convey that better.
Mike
The form is called a rondeau--probably the best-known one in English is John McCrae's "In Flanders Fields". I was definitely aiming for the "you'd better or else" with this one, but swapping out some words will help convey that better.
Mike