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Behold!
Pencil, pencil, sweet utensil,
used for freehand sketch or stencil,
say what fearful paw or wing
can make you dance, can make you sing!
Except, of course, we're addressing pens this time around,
permanent, confident, ink to think
grandiose concepts of time and of space,
modest assertions of beauty and grace,
all within this one tube,
this single, simple, satisfying tube!
The closest approach to telepathy
the human race will ever know,
expanding upward from fingers' grip
through the limbic system,
limpid, lamp-like, loving,
to envelop the words and picture in my head
and deliver them
gently, jaggedly, germanely or not,
for all the indifferent world to see!
Behold! And be held!
used for freehand sketch or stencil,
say what fearful paw or wing
can make you dance, can make you sing!
Except, of course, we're addressing pens this time around,
permanent, confident, ink to think
grandiose concepts of time and of space,
modest assertions of beauty and grace,
all within this one tube,
this single, simple, satisfying tube!
The closest approach to telepathy
the human race will ever know,
expanding upward from fingers' grip
through the limbic system,
limpid, lamp-like, loving,
to envelop the words and picture in my head
and deliver them
gently, jaggedly, germanely or not,
for all the indifferent world to see!
Behold! And be held!
The first stanza had great rhyme and meter, as long as you move that "can" from the fourth line up to the third. Then is starts to break down into free verse, and I assume it's intentional. The next two lines don't rhyme, the next two do, the next to have a self-rhyme, and none of this has any meter. If there's a meaning I'm supposed to get from that, it's going over my head. Maybe that the first takes a lot more editing to get right and so had better be written in pencil to facilitate that? And that when unconstrained, you don't worry about the permanency of ink since there's nothing to edit? That's what I get from it, I guess.
>>Pascoite
Thanks, Pasco:
My thought was to start it rhymed and metered and restricted, and then have it explode like ink spattered across a page into a mix of alliteration, rhymes, blank verse, free verse, and whatever. I could definitely do more to get that spattering imagery into it...
Mike
Thanks, Pasco:
My thought was to start it rhymed and metered and restricted, and then have it explode like ink spattered across a page into a mix of alliteration, rhymes, blank verse, free verse, and whatever. I could definitely do more to get that spattering imagery into it...
Mike