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The first stanza had great rhyme and meter, as long as you move that "can" from the fourth line up to the third. Then is starts to break down into free verse, and I assume it's intentional. The next two lines don't rhyme, the next two do, the next to have a self-rhyme, and none of this has any meter. If there's a meaning I'm supposed to get from that, it's going over my head. Maybe that the first takes a lot more editing to get right and so had better be written in pencil to facilitate that? And that when unconstrained, you don't worry about the permanency of ink since there's nothing to edit? That's what I get from it, I guess.
![](/static/avatar/6/63/63-33-143448fa.png)
Regularly ten syllables per line, but with no meter or rhyme (the rhyming 3rd and 4th lines are deceptive in making it seem like there will be a rhyme scheme). It seems more about a narrative about the creative process without there being a message, but maybe it links the pen's action to the mind's action. Still, feels more slice of life to me, but the language is pleasant to read.
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>>Pascoite
Thanks, Pasco:
My thought was to start it rhymed and metered and restricted, and then have it explode like ink spattered across a page into a mix of alliteration, rhymes, blank verse, free verse, and whatever. I could definitely do more to get that spattering imagery into it...
Mike
Thanks, Pasco:
My thought was to start it rhymed and metered and restricted, and then have it explode like ink spattered across a page into a mix of alliteration, rhymes, blank verse, free verse, and whatever. I could definitely do more to get that spattering imagery into it...
Mike