Well, this is impressive. Pantoum form, but much longer than the standard. The only hiccup is the "She learned appeals—not to kings" lines that come up a syllable short. The story feels maybe a little drawn out with lots of exposition. I get the gist from the start that there's some civil unrest, and along with the title, some hints that cooking will tie in to that, but then there's a long stretch in the middle that doesn't mention the baking any, so it loses the thread of what it's about. Of course it's hard to write a rigorous form, period, much less while getting it to tell a story, so it's easy to say this, but maybe weave in the baking more regularly throughout to keep that connection going the whole way?

>>Pascoite

Thanks, Pasco:

How I always manage to miss one metrical glitch in these Writeoff poems, I'll never know, but this one's easily fixed at least. :)

Mike

If folks want to see:

The final version of this--thanks again, >>Pascoite--it's up on the Silver Blade website with a few alterations and a slight title change, "One Last Pie in the Face."

Mike