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Niddelsens
A man took a glance at a dunce,
And said, "I've no patience for stunts.
I wish you'd be lucid for once,
And heed what I have now to say."
The dunce shared the glance done askance,
And said, "You had never a chance.
Though you prance with that lance in your pants,
You have scared all the starers away."
And said, "I've no patience for stunts.
I wish you'd be lucid for once,
And heed what I have now to say."
The dunce shared the glance done askance,
And said, "You had never a chance.
Though you prance with that lance in your pants,
You have scared all the starers away."
Last two lines have an extra syllable.
I'm not following what happens. The first speaker ends up sounding like he's about to say something else, but he never speaks again. At least I don't think so. It seems like the dunce is the speaker in the second stanza. They're arguing about something, but I can't tell what or why. Maybe if I knew what the title meant it'd give me a clue?
The rhymes all work well, with even a little internal rhyme, plus the alliteration in places. Aside from those last two lines being longer, the structure works out nicely.
I'm not following what happens. The first speaker ends up sounding like he's about to say something else, but he never speaks again. At least I don't think so. It seems like the dunce is the speaker in the second stanza. They're arguing about something, but I can't tell what or why. Maybe if I knew what the title meant it'd give me a clue?
The rhymes all work well, with even a little internal rhyme, plus the alliteration in places. Aside from those last two lines being longer, the structure works out nicely.
>>Pascoite
Niddelsens
This was a case where I wrote for the sounds and let the sense take care of itself. I'm not quite sure what I was driving at now, it probably needed a few more stanzas to go anywhere consistent.
Niddelsens
This was a case where I wrote for the sounds and let the sense take care of itself. I'm not quite sure what I was driving at now, it probably needed a few more stanzas to go anywhere consistent.