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The Triumph of Evil
The blind trees, the silent flowers,
Their unhearing clearing stood peaceful for hours,
Until it decended, and all hell broke loose,
With no one to see, hear, or speak of the goose.
Their unhearing clearing stood peaceful for hours,
Until it decended, and all hell broke loose,
With no one to see, hear, or speak of the goose.
Only one prompt submitted, huh? And the prompt inclusion, probably from the person who submitted it.
The rhymes are fine, the rhythm a little off. I guess the ending is making a joke? I don't get it, and I don't see how the title fits in. It creates a good atmosphere, but I don't know hat happened.
The rhymes are fine, the rhythm a little off. I guess the ending is making a joke? I don't get it, and I don't see how the title fits in. It creates a good atmosphere, but I don't know hat happened.
This is a dark lyric, and might help set the atmosphere for a wider setting (such as a game or a scene in a movie where there is more information). As a poem, the next step would be to clarify the referent of 'it' in the third line.
>>Pascoite
Was a bit sad, seeing only one prompt, especially since it didn't speak to me much. But I missed prompt submission this time. Guess I mostly got myself to blame.
My one line of thought that felt both somewhat interesting and somewhat connected to the prompt went like this:
blind + silent → see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil → the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing → geese are evil
..and that's the whole joke.
Also I couldn't think of any way to improve the rhythm without making the poem longer. Felt that wasn't worth it.
Was a bit sad, seeing only one prompt, especially since it didn't speak to me much. But I missed prompt submission this time. Guess I mostly got myself to blame.
My one line of thought that felt both somewhat interesting and somewhat connected to the prompt went like this:
blind + silent → see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil → the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing → geese are evil
..and that's the whole joke.
Also I couldn't think of any way to improve the rhythm without making the poem longer. Felt that wasn't worth it.