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I'm not sure what to make of this. In the end, I'm not sure there was a message. It's all about the banter. Nothing gets resolved, and none of the characters get developed. I didn't even understand some of the reactions they had to each other's dialogue. The setup of androids trying to escape to Canada reminds me of Blade Runner. I wish I could be more helpful, but I'm not sure what the intent was with this, so I don't know how to help you get there.
Why'd you go with a format of dashes to mark paragraphs? It works, I guess, but I've never seen that before, so it leaves me looking for a reason why they're there, something they add to the story. All it did for me was initially make me think this was going to be a text message exchange. It's got its shock value, but it also doesn't develop the characters much. It's all going to be predicated on how funny the reader finds the ending joke. The bit about the parents makes it sound like this guy's been around for quite some time, but the girl's age and the implication of repeated clonings makes it seem like less, so I guess the clones inherit a memory?
What is it about this prompt that made everyone write dirty jokes?
Nothing much to say about this. It was funny, and I liked the constant barrage of tricks. I think you might have run up against the word limit, as it concludes kind of quickly. Fun read, and the writing is good.
Nothing much to say about this. It was funny, and I liked the constant barrage of tricks. I think you might have run up against the word limit, as it concludes kind of quickly. Fun read, and the writing is good.
>>Pascoite
Thanks a bunch Pasco for reading this and commenting. As I said to Cassius, I wrote that on the back of an envelope one hour before the deadline and had no time to edit or even reread. I’m not sure why I put dashes. This is the French typographic habit.
So the text was botched, the dialogue was unnatural, and I lost interest as soon as I realised it was egregiously bad. I apologise to the other partakers, I’ll read their entry later and comment on it.
Once again, thanks a bunch Pasco. You’re a trouper :)
Thanks a bunch Pasco for reading this and commenting. As I said to Cassius, I wrote that on the back of an envelope one hour before the deadline and had no time to edit or even reread. I’m not sure why I put dashes. This is the French typographic habit.
So the text was botched, the dialogue was unnatural, and I lost interest as soon as I realised it was egregiously bad. I apologise to the other partakers, I’ll read their entry later and comment on it.
Once again, thanks a bunch Pasco. You’re a trouper :)