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Mr. Five Meets Mrs. Bond
Shelby, the short-stack and heavy-stack middle aged woman, was sweeping the porch of the Byron Solar Cafeteria. It was another hot, dusty summer day as a semi rolled past the business, hit a pothole and a coffin sized box fell off its bed. Shelby shrugged as she approached the box as it laid atop the broken pavement. She peered at the label and smiled as she dragged it inside and up to her bedroom.
Inside Shelby's imperfect sanctuary of discarded instant noodle cups and other garbage, the sweaty woman took a rusty crowbar and opened the box. The discarded cover lid said the contents were trash. Though inside was a white plastic android, man shaped, in perfect condition. She figured it was a top of the line companion model.
“I wonder why someone would chuck you out? You look great,” Shelby pondered out loud.
The plastic man opened its eyes and answered unexpectedly “Thank you. It's because I switched places with the one that was broken beyond repair.”
“Holy shit! Who are you?” Shelby asked as she stumbled back and fell on her butt.
“Bond, James Bond!” he replied.
“Really?” she questioned skeptically.
“No, just call me Johnny. Miss... ?”
“Shelby, Shelby Bond.”
“Oh, this is kinda awkward. Maybe my introduction was a bit too dated?” Johnny started to question.
“No, it's fine! I'm just so psyched to have you around! Usually I just find robot drones or doggy AIs lying about here and there. You know, this is a popular spot for your kind of people trying to cross into the Canadian Wastes,” explain Shelby.
“My kind of people?” Johnny raised an eyebrow and stared at her.
“Don't get short with me!” Shelby answered with her hands raised up in the air.
“I am not going to take this bait. Take that the Fed Zone General Dump 13 is not far from here?”
“It's ain't at all. I also take it that you are all going to be heading there as soon as the sun heads down, am I right?”
Johnny sat up and climbed out of his coffin box.“Correct. I assure you I will be on my best behavior until then.”
“Well, I wouldn't mind it if you got into a little mischief. Or me.”
“No offense, you are not my type Shelby.”
“Offense taken. Still, I'm trying to figure out what kind of defect you got,” she quipped back.
Johnny was amused “Why would you assume I have one? Obviously I was in this box being transported to someplace else and not because I'm trash. I'm not.”
Shelby interrupted “Cry me a river! I know, I know. But everyone is flawed. That includes plastic men such as yourself.”
“And what flaw would you assume I have? I am a perfect recreation of a man. More even so because I'm faster, stronger, better...
“Harder!”
“...I need less overall time and resources than someone such as yourself to operate.” he finished.
“Yeah, but I guess your main flaw is a lack of gratitude and a tendency to not to follow orders. I mean you wouldn't be here standing next to me if you weren't. I mean no one has good business going north these days. You are being sneaky!”
“Are you saying that slipping away on my own and from my so called masters makes me not perfect?” Johnny smiled.
Shelby smiled back and then replied “Nothing is.”
Inside Shelby's imperfect sanctuary of discarded instant noodle cups and other garbage, the sweaty woman took a rusty crowbar and opened the box. The discarded cover lid said the contents were trash. Though inside was a white plastic android, man shaped, in perfect condition. She figured it was a top of the line companion model.
“I wonder why someone would chuck you out? You look great,” Shelby pondered out loud.
The plastic man opened its eyes and answered unexpectedly “Thank you. It's because I switched places with the one that was broken beyond repair.”
“Holy shit! Who are you?” Shelby asked as she stumbled back and fell on her butt.
“Bond, James Bond!” he replied.
“Really?” she questioned skeptically.
“No, just call me Johnny. Miss... ?”
“Shelby, Shelby Bond.”
“Oh, this is kinda awkward. Maybe my introduction was a bit too dated?” Johnny started to question.
“No, it's fine! I'm just so psyched to have you around! Usually I just find robot drones or doggy AIs lying about here and there. You know, this is a popular spot for your kind of people trying to cross into the Canadian Wastes,” explain Shelby.
“My kind of people?” Johnny raised an eyebrow and stared at her.
“Don't get short with me!” Shelby answered with her hands raised up in the air.
“I am not going to take this bait. Take that the Fed Zone General Dump 13 is not far from here?”
“It's ain't at all. I also take it that you are all going to be heading there as soon as the sun heads down, am I right?”
Johnny sat up and climbed out of his coffin box.“Correct. I assure you I will be on my best behavior until then.”
“Well, I wouldn't mind it if you got into a little mischief. Or me.”
“No offense, you are not my type Shelby.”
“Offense taken. Still, I'm trying to figure out what kind of defect you got,” she quipped back.
Johnny was amused “Why would you assume I have one? Obviously I was in this box being transported to someplace else and not because I'm trash. I'm not.”
Shelby interrupted “Cry me a river! I know, I know. But everyone is flawed. That includes plastic men such as yourself.”
“And what flaw would you assume I have? I am a perfect recreation of a man. More even so because I'm faster, stronger, better...
“Harder!”
“...I need less overall time and resources than someone such as yourself to operate.” he finished.
“Yeah, but I guess your main flaw is a lack of gratitude and a tendency to not to follow orders. I mean you wouldn't be here standing next to me if you weren't. I mean no one has good business going north these days. You are being sneaky!”
“Are you saying that slipping away on my own and from my so called masters makes me not perfect?” Johnny smiled.
Shelby smiled back and then replied “Nothing is.”
Pics
I'm not sure what to make of this. In the end, I'm not sure there was a message. It's all about the banter. Nothing gets resolved, and none of the characters get developed. I didn't even understand some of the reactions they had to each other's dialogue. The setup of androids trying to escape to Canada reminds me of Blade Runner. I wish I could be more helpful, but I'm not sure what the intent was with this, so I don't know how to help you get there.