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On and On
The axe had sliced into the wooden block
And through the captive's neck. The severed head,
With eyes still gaping from the horrid shock,
Rolled to the filthy ground and bounced and bled
And left a trail of bright distressing red
Like letters writ in cursive script to say
That death put pause to daily life as led;
What else did you have planned to do today?
The spattered blood had almost stained the frock
Of that pale priest who’d come to bless the dead,
But he stepped back austerely, and his talk
Was scarcely halted. To the crowd, he said
The needed words of hope when life has fled
And sweeter fate awaiting those who pray,
The people calmly listened as he read.
What else did they have planned to do today?
The head had come to rest against a rock
Besmeared in stinking mud; with eyes of dread
The captive stared, and in the aftershock
His fading mind still held to silent thread.
Before him the whole sunny world was spread
With laughing crows and children all at play,
But his whole life to this one point had led.
What else could he have planned to do today?
And to this point you also have been sped,
The falling blade does trim the time away.
Potential paths unseen around you spread,
What else did you have planned to do today?
And through the captive's neck. The severed head,
With eyes still gaping from the horrid shock,
Rolled to the filthy ground and bounced and bled
And left a trail of bright distressing red
Like letters writ in cursive script to say
That death put pause to daily life as led;
What else did you have planned to do today?
The spattered blood had almost stained the frock
Of that pale priest who’d come to bless the dead,
But he stepped back austerely, and his talk
Was scarcely halted. To the crowd, he said
The needed words of hope when life has fled
And sweeter fate awaiting those who pray,
The people calmly listened as he read.
What else did they have planned to do today?
The head had come to rest against a rock
Besmeared in stinking mud; with eyes of dread
The captive stared, and in the aftershock
His fading mind still held to silent thread.
Before him the whole sunny world was spread
With laughing crows and children all at play,
But his whole life to this one point had led.
What else could he have planned to do today?
And to this point you also have been sped,
The falling blade does trim the time away.
Potential paths unseen around you spread,
What else did you have planned to do today?
I really can't fathom how I'd even use the prompt, so I'm probably not going to be able to discern how anyone else did, either.
This is clever. The rhymes all work, and the syllable count never wavers, but the stress pattern does have some hitches in it. Maybe one wasn't intended? In that case, it works well enough for the first stanza that it sets up expectations for the rest. I'm not a scholar of poetry. That is to say, I know some forms and judge how well a poem adheres to it, but there are many forms I don't know the proper names of. So I don't know whether this is a form that you invented on your own or if it's an already defined one. I like the slight variation of the stanzas' ending lines. Nice atmosphere, and it takes a very deterministic view of life. Of course you were going to write this. What else did you have planned to do today?
Nobody ever comes close to that 2000 word limit, do they?
This is clever. The rhymes all work, and the syllable count never wavers, but the stress pattern does have some hitches in it. Maybe one wasn't intended? In that case, it works well enough for the first stanza that it sets up expectations for the rest. I'm not a scholar of poetry. That is to say, I know some forms and judge how well a poem adheres to it, but there are many forms I don't know the proper names of. So I don't know whether this is a form that you invented on your own or if it's an already defined one. I like the slight variation of the stanzas' ending lines. Nice atmosphere, and it takes a very deterministic view of life. Of course you were going to write this. What else did you have planned to do today?
Nobody ever comes close to that 2000 word limit, do they?
>>Pascoite
And he smiles when he feels like crying
The form is based on the Ballade, which I chose upon a whim. I took some liberties with the repeated line but otherwise tried to stay true.
I apologize for the prompt; I didn't expect it to win. But we never shoot for 2000 word poems here, either.
And he smiles when he feels like crying
The form is based on the Ballade, which I chose upon a whim. I took some liberties with the repeated line but otherwise tried to stay true.
I apologize for the prompt; I didn't expect it to win. But we never shoot for 2000 word poems here, either.
Prompts should—
be a short phrase or figure of speech;
not lock participants into certain characters, settings, or plots; and
be suitable for use as a title for the event; and therefore
be in title case, using the following rules:
the first and last words are capitalised;
articles, coordinating conjunctions, and prepositions 4 letters or shorter are not capitalised;
everything else is capitalised.