Alas, now is the opportune time to get out retros for both my fics. Better late than never. Besides, I shouldn't leave anyone hanging.

>>Miller Minus

Okay, so let's start. Your comment is the foundation of all the others. I agree with the fact that it is breakneck pacing. Fortunately, though, I know how to slow it down- taking time to describe the setting. After all, they are on the beach, why not play in the water for a bit?

This fic's purpose is to smooth out some rough ends in Quibble's and Wind Sprint's relationship, if that clarifies anything. Unfortunately, my rush job (you guessed it!) didn't do it any favors. I had to cut it down and meet halfway. This is only half the story. The rest of the story is where the real bonding occurs. To accustom to pace, I had to force the characters to do some things that they don't want to do. Unfortunately, I didn't do a good job of making Quibble rush off to solve one of the story's problems, hence the OOC.

Conundrum: what happens if you die?

Frankly, I don't know. I also mulled over because my fallacy of thinking that nopony in MLP dies, not even the grandmas. But, that's an incorrect postulate. I will work this detail out later. My first thought was to stick to Jumanji: Welcome to the jungle's take on the conundrum. Leave it ambiguous, but a fate that you don't want to find out. But, after thinking about it a little. I think to keep it with the confines of what is possible within the FiM universe, I will make it so that you just get ejected from the book.

Now… back to scheduled programming

To finish up, I can see how seesawing between aliases can be confusing. That's an easy fix.

Thanks for the review!

>>Baal Bunny

Again, what I said to Miller takes effect here. This is only half the story. Rush job. Etc.

The gold nugget of this review is exactly the point where they get what they need instead of what they want. I will do my best to flesh it out and make it work.

Thanks for reviewing!

>>thisisalongname

Refer to the Bold heading saying "What Happens if you die?" But, you bring up the greater point: why would Quibble potentially risk Wind Sprint's life?The implication is that he knows you cannot die, just are ejected from the book, or something else.

Also, your side note, yes I agree that was a breaking point of the story. I wanted to make it so that Wind Sprint was more aloof than petulant, but failed in that aspect.

>>CoffeeMinion

Thank you! I understand my prose is crappy, but thank you for seeing the gem inside it.

P.S. See the Verdict. You may be happy to see where I plan to go with this one.

>>alarajrogers

Thank you for reviewing! I understand it's not exactly fun to review a fic you don't enjoy. Also, considering this is post-competition, Thank you especially for going the extra mile.

It gives me a little more hope to see that Quibble and Wind Sprint's personalities are believable. They won't need much to become amazing.

As you said in my other fic, needs expansion- and expansion is what it will get.

Verdict:

Once one of my major projects is done, I'll start expanding and refining this. I don't know what's about it, but it seems that I want to publish the fics with the lowest score and/or written about this time of year

>>alarajrogers
Bless your heart for thinking the most implausible thing in my story is the American health insurance system. That really makes me happy.

>>Baal Bunny
>>thisisalongname
>>CoffeeMinion
>>alarajrogers
Thanks everyone for your input. After sitting on most of it, I've decided to just publish what I have now. I appreciate the feedback, but have applied what I learned mostly to future stories rather than to this one.

Again, thanks for your feedback on Things We Do for Love.