Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Show rules for this event
Okay, so first up, this is a very unique and clever piece. So serious props on the idea portion. Also, that lighting is absolutely perfect. I don't know if it was planned, but gosh you did a great job with it.
However, it does have a couple perspective issues. Take the scope, for example. By showing the circle on the front (right) side you give the illusion that we are looking at the rifle from the front. But the way you did the butt and, more importantly, that you did not have the circle on the forestock and barrel give the illusion of looking at the rifle from the rear (As well as just the general proportion/ angle of the piece). The way the monopod(?) attaches to the forestock is also just a little too symmetrical to match with either perspective.
Now, that's a lot, I know. But it's because I love this idea so much that I want to see it succeed. Like, I'm honestly struggling trying to rank these.
However, it does have a couple perspective issues. Take the scope, for example. By showing the circle on the front (right) side you give the illusion that we are looking at the rifle from the front. But the way you did the butt and, more importantly, that you did not have the circle on the forestock and barrel give the illusion of looking at the rifle from the rear (As well as just the general proportion/ angle of the piece). The way the monopod(?) attaches to the forestock is also just a little too symmetrical to match with either perspective.
Now, that's a lot, I know. But it's because I love this idea so much that I want to see it succeed. Like, I'm honestly struggling trying to rank these.
A great visual pun that unites the source story's elements. Execution is slightly rough but none the worse for it. This piece will go in my upper tier; thanks for creating it, Artist.
Ottava caduta, the retrospective:
Silver! Thank you all—well, with only three pic entries, we were all guaranteed to get at least bronze, but still, I'm glad I did this.
This is my first pic entry in the Writeoffs, and it was a completely impulsive inspiration on the last day of the pic period. The medium was some of the pens I had lying around on my desk on some nice paper I had lying around on a shelf, followed by photography of the “well, I don't have my scanner set up, so whatever” type, then some digital touchup in GIMP to erase a particularly egregious lining mistake and to fiddle with the color balance.
Blather and/or interpretation notes, in no particular order:
Make sure you've read the prompt story first, of course, and much of this may already be obvious to people who have some musical background.
The music itself was just as improvised as the rest of it. I read the story as implying a cadenza, and this seemed plausible as the ending of a cello cadenza leading back into the orchestral section, matching the ending of the story. I took the liberty here of assuming that only one of the C♯ notes had been changed to a C♮, mainly because that let me bend and exaggerate the natural sign into a trigger shape against its ledger-line-and-beam “frame”. The ending trill in the front of the barrel is very long for the passage that precedes it, in reality just because it worked visually, but I like to think of it as Octavia sitting there drawing it out while cringing and waiting for the bullet that the whole notes turn into at the end of the tie. Followed, hopefully, by an actual rest this time, rather than da capo all'eternità.
Fun extra: the specific C♮ in question is the lowest note a cello can play, and therefore can only be played as an open string as opposed to fingered, with a noticeable difference in timbre from the C♯ right above it. I like to think of Octavia leaning into her “error” that way to jab at whoever is “listening”.
The piece at the front where a monopod or bipod would be on a real weapon is based on a modified idea of a cello tailpin. Hopefully that part was obvious, but I had to distort the shape a lot to get it to fit in the picture, and I'm not sure it worked.
The title is a play on the “ottava sopra” and “ottava sotto” musical markings for “octave above” and “octave below”, but instead meaning “fallen octave” or “dead octave”, referring to the main character.
The caption uses “con silenziatore” as a play on the “con sordino” marking for “with a mute”, but instead meaning “with a silencer”. “loco a tempo” combines the “loco” and “a tempo” markings which refer to “in the original octave” and “at the original speed”; it's meant to ambiguously refer to either restarting the time loop or exiting it, but I'm not sure how well that actually works.
The shape of the rifle was strongly influenced by a photograph of an M24 SWS from Wikimedia Commons by Dr. Zachi Evenor and MathKnight.
The clefs were originally drawn in a subtly purple color, intended to match Octavia's cutie mark, but this didn't really come through; I should've dug through my drawer for a more vivid purple to use.
Fun extra: the secondary melody line in the scope is a more specific reference to events in the prompt story. The story describes a death in seat 4B leading to a shriek from seat 5A, so the scope melody starts on the note B4 and rises to an expressive peak at A5.
Review responses:
>>MLPmatthewl419
I agree that the perspective is troublesome, and this is entirely my mistake; while I was in the middle of doing it, I was treating it too much as a purely 2D work. Worse, I actually saw some of the mismatch at the time, but part of my mind brushed it off as not mattering. I'm glad you took the time to describe it!
The underlying reason the butt is that way is of course because it's extended outward from a restyled bass clef. I hadn't considered the “with the front pointing partly into the page” interpretation at all, so I didn't realize the effect that would have on how I needed to handle the rest of the edges.
With the repurposed tailpin, I was too focused on trying to get the shape to work at all, then just didn't notice that I should possibly rotate it or otherwise make it more three-dimensional.
As for the lighting, it wasn't exactly planned, in that it came from the way I happened to have a lamp set up on my desk plus a color side effect of a way I was trying to tweak the contrast in postprocessing, but when I saw it, I decided to keep it, because it looked appropriate for implying a stage light. I'm pleased that it worked for you.
Thanks for reviewing!
>>GroaningGreyAgony
And thank you for reviewing too; I'm glad that you enjoyed it, and that the awkward execution apparently didn't ruin it.
Hope to see you all again in future Writeoffs!
Silver! Thank you all—well, with only three pic entries, we were all guaranteed to get at least bronze, but still, I'm glad I did this.
This is my first pic entry in the Writeoffs, and it was a completely impulsive inspiration on the last day of the pic period. The medium was some of the pens I had lying around on my desk on some nice paper I had lying around on a shelf, followed by photography of the “well, I don't have my scanner set up, so whatever” type, then some digital touchup in GIMP to erase a particularly egregious lining mistake and to fiddle with the color balance.
Blather and/or interpretation notes, in no particular order:
Make sure you've read the prompt story first, of course, and much of this may already be obvious to people who have some musical background.
The music itself was just as improvised as the rest of it. I read the story as implying a cadenza, and this seemed plausible as the ending of a cello cadenza leading back into the orchestral section, matching the ending of the story. I took the liberty here of assuming that only one of the C♯ notes had been changed to a C♮, mainly because that let me bend and exaggerate the natural sign into a trigger shape against its ledger-line-and-beam “frame”. The ending trill in the front of the barrel is very long for the passage that precedes it, in reality just because it worked visually, but I like to think of it as Octavia sitting there drawing it out while cringing and waiting for the bullet that the whole notes turn into at the end of the tie. Followed, hopefully, by an actual rest this time, rather than da capo all'eternità.
Fun extra: the specific C♮ in question is the lowest note a cello can play, and therefore can only be played as an open string as opposed to fingered, with a noticeable difference in timbre from the C♯ right above it. I like to think of Octavia leaning into her “error” that way to jab at whoever is “listening”.
The piece at the front where a monopod or bipod would be on a real weapon is based on a modified idea of a cello tailpin. Hopefully that part was obvious, but I had to distort the shape a lot to get it to fit in the picture, and I'm not sure it worked.
The title is a play on the “ottava sopra” and “ottava sotto” musical markings for “octave above” and “octave below”, but instead meaning “fallen octave” or “dead octave”, referring to the main character.
The caption uses “con silenziatore” as a play on the “con sordino” marking for “with a mute”, but instead meaning “with a silencer”. “loco a tempo” combines the “loco” and “a tempo” markings which refer to “in the original octave” and “at the original speed”; it's meant to ambiguously refer to either restarting the time loop or exiting it, but I'm not sure how well that actually works.
The shape of the rifle was strongly influenced by a photograph of an M24 SWS from Wikimedia Commons by Dr. Zachi Evenor and MathKnight.
The clefs were originally drawn in a subtly purple color, intended to match Octavia's cutie mark, but this didn't really come through; I should've dug through my drawer for a more vivid purple to use.
Fun extra: the secondary melody line in the scope is a more specific reference to events in the prompt story. The story describes a death in seat 4B leading to a shriek from seat 5A, so the scope melody starts on the note B4 and rises to an expressive peak at A5.
Review responses:
>>MLPmatthewl419
I agree that the perspective is troublesome, and this is entirely my mistake; while I was in the middle of doing it, I was treating it too much as a purely 2D work. Worse, I actually saw some of the mismatch at the time, but part of my mind brushed it off as not mattering. I'm glad you took the time to describe it!
The underlying reason the butt is that way is of course because it's extended outward from a restyled bass clef. I hadn't considered the “with the front pointing partly into the page” interpretation at all, so I didn't realize the effect that would have on how I needed to handle the rest of the edges.
With the repurposed tailpin, I was too focused on trying to get the shape to work at all, then just didn't notice that I should possibly rotate it or otherwise make it more three-dimensional.
As for the lighting, it wasn't exactly planned, in that it came from the way I happened to have a lamp set up on my desk plus a color side effect of a way I was trying to tweak the contrast in postprocessing, but when I saw it, I decided to keep it, because it looked appropriate for implying a stage light. I'm pleased that it worked for you.
Thanks for reviewing!
>>GroaningGreyAgony
And thank you for reviewing too; I'm glad that you enjoyed it, and that the awkward execution apparently didn't ruin it.
Hope to see you all again in future Writeoffs!