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Poems About Dragons
Once a dragon roamed wild, majestic, and free,
(just like they do in the old stories.)
When a clever young fae approached the old beast,
And begged it to measure its glories.
“How wide are you wings?” he wondered aloud,
“How hot is the fire you spit?”
“How sharp are the talons that skewer young knights?”
“Tell me of your pride and your wit.”
So the dragon did speak of his greatness,
of heroes and monsters and prey.
Each achievement recorded with diligent quill,
for such is the weapon of fae.
The telling had ended by sunset,
and darkness came over the wood.
The dragon grew bored of the tiny young thing,
and washed him in flame where he stood.
But when smoke and flame had abated,
the faerie stood there unharmed.
He produced from his robes his scales and fresh quill,
and thus for the battle was armed.
“You stand a titan! A giant!”
“Fifty tons borne on each claw.”
“But what creatures bones can bear such a weight?”
So was rendered the natural law.
The dragon’s legs shattered, snapped easy in two.
His ribs followed shortly thereafter.
Energy laws starved his flame from within.
And the faerie was given to laughter.
“You’re not for this time,” he stroked the poor beast,
“But don’t fear, for you will live on.”
He crafted a story from what he observed,
and then the last dragon was gone.
Once man feared the crawling things,
the little things,
the stinging things.
Until he found a hefty stone,
a stinger he could call his own.
Once man feared the running things,
the hunting things,
the biting things.
Until he found a sharpened spear,
slew the beasts and claimed the deer.
Once man feared the roaring things,
the giant things,
the charging things.
Until he found a ready bow,
a from afar he struck a blow.
Then approached a scaly thing,
a burning thing,
a magic thing.
The power that no man could smite,
the beast of all-surpassing might.
“Behold my form.” A fleshy thing,
a mighty thing,
a wondrous thing.
“I am wonder, I am story.”
“I am mystery, I am glory!”
“Hear my wit.” A whispered thing,
a clever thing,
a hunting thing.
“I am the thing that you abhor.”
“And the thing that you adore!”
“Feel my greed.” A grasping thing.
A clawing thing.
A crushing thing.
“All that was yours I shall keep.”
“My hunger endless, I shall reap!”
But men did not fear the dragon thing,
a familiar thing,
a warming thing.
“I did not know we had a brother.”
“But now I see there is another!”
What became of crawling things,
the working things,
the slaving things?
“Their greatest treasures we will claim.”
“Gold or honey just the same.”
What became of running things,
the dying things,
the bleeding things?
“All they are reduced to meat.”
“Subject to flame before we eat.”
What became of roaring things,
the vanished things,
the hidden things?
“Their leather is our armored scale.”
“Their spirits now beyond the veil.”
The dragon looked at mankind, and knew its kin.
It fled.
(just like they do in the old stories.)
When a clever young fae approached the old beast,
And begged it to measure its glories.
“How wide are you wings?” he wondered aloud,
“How hot is the fire you spit?”
“How sharp are the talons that skewer young knights?”
“Tell me of your pride and your wit.”
So the dragon did speak of his greatness,
of heroes and monsters and prey.
Each achievement recorded with diligent quill,
for such is the weapon of fae.
The telling had ended by sunset,
and darkness came over the wood.
The dragon grew bored of the tiny young thing,
and washed him in flame where he stood.
But when smoke and flame had abated,
the faerie stood there unharmed.
He produced from his robes his scales and fresh quill,
and thus for the battle was armed.
“You stand a titan! A giant!”
“Fifty tons borne on each claw.”
“But what creatures bones can bear such a weight?”
So was rendered the natural law.
The dragon’s legs shattered, snapped easy in two.
His ribs followed shortly thereafter.
Energy laws starved his flame from within.
And the faerie was given to laughter.
“You’re not for this time,” he stroked the poor beast,
“But don’t fear, for you will live on.”
He crafted a story from what he observed,
and then the last dragon was gone.
Once man feared the crawling things,
the little things,
the stinging things.
Until he found a hefty stone,
a stinger he could call his own.
Once man feared the running things,
the hunting things,
the biting things.
Until he found a sharpened spear,
slew the beasts and claimed the deer.
Once man feared the roaring things,
the giant things,
the charging things.
Until he found a ready bow,
a from afar he struck a blow.
Then approached a scaly thing,
a burning thing,
a magic thing.
The power that no man could smite,
the beast of all-surpassing might.
“Behold my form.” A fleshy thing,
a mighty thing,
a wondrous thing.
“I am wonder, I am story.”
“I am mystery, I am glory!”
“Hear my wit.” A whispered thing,
a clever thing,
a hunting thing.
“I am the thing that you abhor.”
“And the thing that you adore!”
“Feel my greed.” A grasping thing.
A clawing thing.
A crushing thing.
“All that was yours I shall keep.”
“My hunger endless, I shall reap!”
But men did not fear the dragon thing,
a familiar thing,
a warming thing.
“I did not know we had a brother.”
“But now I see there is another!”
What became of crawling things,
the working things,
the slaving things?
“Their greatest treasures we will claim.”
“Gold or honey just the same.”
What became of running things,
the dying things,
the bleeding things?
“All they are reduced to meat.”
“Subject to flame before we eat.”
What became of roaring things,
the vanished things,
the hidden things?
“Their leather is our armored scale.”
“Their spirits now beyond the veil.”
The dragon looked at mankind, and knew its kin.
It fled.
Pics
Just like basically everyone else here (except for the gods among us), I don't really feel comfortable critiquing poetry. But I'll give it a shot!
There are a couple of places here that have a great mouth-feel, reading these poems aloud (which is the only way to read poetry, duh). The second and fourth stanzas of the second poem in particular read really smoothly.
But as a whole, I'm afraid I did find myself stumbling more often than not while reading these poems. The first in particular never seems to really get on top of its meter. I mean, by the 2nd or 3rd stanza, I got the beat you were going for, but the fact that the syllable count would randomly change here or there would constantly force me to re-read a line with a different stress-pattern to maintain the flow. Meter really is just as important as rhyme in a structured poem, so you should do your best to make sure your stresses are where you want them. For instance, I can't help but feel that the first poem's third stanza would read much easier like this:
Because you have this unstressed-unstressed-stressed beat that's being ruined by the extra syllables from the "the" and "achievement". As in:
So dra-gon did speak of his might
of he-roes and mon-sters and prey
Each con-quest re-cor-ded with di-li-gent quill
for such is the wea-pon of fae.
Personally, this feels better to me. YMMV.
And as a side-note, if I'm not mistaken, you're supposed to capitalize the start of every line, regardless of whether or not it's the start of a sentence or clause.
So in the end, I like what you're trying to do, but I think you need to polish the execution a little before it does what you want it to.
There are a couple of places here that have a great mouth-feel, reading these poems aloud (which is the only way to read poetry, duh). The second and fourth stanzas of the second poem in particular read really smoothly.
But as a whole, I'm afraid I did find myself stumbling more often than not while reading these poems. The first in particular never seems to really get on top of its meter. I mean, by the 2nd or 3rd stanza, I got the beat you were going for, but the fact that the syllable count would randomly change here or there would constantly force me to re-read a line with a different stress-pattern to maintain the flow. Meter really is just as important as rhyme in a structured poem, so you should do your best to make sure your stresses are where you want them. For instance, I can't help but feel that the first poem's third stanza would read much easier like this:
Sothedragon did speak of his might,
of heroes and monsters and prey.
Each conquest recorded with diligent quill,
for such is the weapon of fae.
Because you have this unstressed-unstressed-stressed beat that's being ruined by the extra syllables from the "the" and "achievement". As in:
So dra-gon did speak of his might
of he-roes and mon-sters and prey
Each con-quest re-cor-ded with di-li-gent quill
for such is the wea-pon of fae.
Personally, this feels better to me. YMMV.
And as a side-note, if I'm not mistaken, you're supposed to capitalize the start of every line, regardless of whether or not it's the start of a sentence or clause.
So in the end, I like what you're trying to do, but I think you need to polish the execution a little before it does what you want it to.
Alternate Title: Skyrim: Sing-Along Edition
The first poem(s) to be encountered this round. Inevitable, I suppose.
Believe it or not, I don't hate this; I can't even say I dislike it. I wouldn't put it too high on my slate, mind you, but there's definitely a musicality (especially in the second poem) that I can get behind.
Things start off pretty rocky, though. The rhyme scheme of the first poem is kind of ungainly, and it takes a while to get a good grip on the flow, with how choppy it is. The formatting is also confusing to me because the author seemed indecisive about whether to start each line with a capital letter or not.
There were also a couple stanzas in the first poem where I wasn't sure as to whom was talking, the faerie or the dragon. Maybe making them more distinct would've helped? Or changing a few little things in the wording.
The second poem, however, is where things pick up. There's not much of a story going on here, but thematically it's connected very well with the first poem, and ends on a slightly haunting note, even though we gathered by that point that this was a "humans suck lol" kind of story. The abruptness of the ending is what really sells it.
The scheme used in the second poem is also nice to read aloud, despite my reservations about the repetition of "things." I ended up not minding it so much, though. This is a case of repetition being used well, at least for the most part.
Boy, what a shocking conclusion this must be, for those who know me...
The first poem(s) to be encountered this round. Inevitable, I suppose.
Believe it or not, I don't hate this; I can't even say I dislike it. I wouldn't put it too high on my slate, mind you, but there's definitely a musicality (especially in the second poem) that I can get behind.
Things start off pretty rocky, though. The rhyme scheme of the first poem is kind of ungainly, and it takes a while to get a good grip on the flow, with how choppy it is. The formatting is also confusing to me because the author seemed indecisive about whether to start each line with a capital letter or not.
There were also a couple stanzas in the first poem where I wasn't sure as to whom was talking, the faerie or the dragon. Maybe making them more distinct would've helped? Or changing a few little things in the wording.
The second poem, however, is where things pick up. There's not much of a story going on here, but thematically it's connected very well with the first poem, and ends on a slightly haunting note, even though we gathered by that point that this was a "humans suck lol" kind of story. The abruptness of the ending is what really sells it.
The scheme used in the second poem is also nice to read aloud, despite my reservations about the repetition of "things." I ended up not minding it so much, though. This is a case of repetition being used well, at least for the most part.
Boy, what a shocking conclusion this must be, for those who know me...
Bottom slate for making me think about having to do another quick limerick level joke to start my review. One was enough.
I might come back to this but I really can't offer any helpful insight at this juncture.
I might come back to this but I really can't offer any helpful insight at this juncture.
>>Bachiavellian:
Hits the issues here squarely on the head, author. If you're going to do this sort of metrical poetry, you gotta make sure the meter's consistent. The second one comes off better in that regard than the first, but they're both fairly rocky. Storywise, they're fine, though I don't quite see how they relate to either the prompt or the picture.
Mike
Hits the issues here squarely on the head, author. If you're going to do this sort of metrical poetry, you gotta make sure the meter's consistent. The second one comes off better in that regard than the first, but they're both fairly rocky. Storywise, they're fine, though I don't quite see how they relate to either the prompt or the picture.
Mike
>>Bachiavellian
I learned something about poetry reading this comment! I never quite understood how meter works, so I could hear that it was off but didn't understand why. This really helped.
Thank you!
>>No_Raisin
You are a bad man.
>>Baal Bunny
The picture has a dragon in it, man. The story is called, "Poems About Dragons."
I'm just saying I didn't conceal my intentions.
More seriously, thanks for the feedback. The commentary this round really helped, and with your mentorship and support, I think I might be well on my way to being an average poet.
I learned something about poetry reading this comment! I never quite understood how meter works, so I could hear that it was off but didn't understand why. This really helped.
Thank you!
>>No_Raisin
Alternate Title: Skyrim: Sing-Along Edition
You are a bad man.
>>Baal Bunny
The picture has a dragon in it, man. The story is called, "Poems About Dragons."
I'm just saying I didn't conceal my intentions.
More seriously, thanks for the feedback. The commentary this round really helped, and with your mentorship and support, I think I might be well on my way to being an average poet.
>>GaPJaxie
Yeah, that's completely:
On me. I keep looking at that picture and seeing some sort of monster canine instead of a dragon. :)
Mike
The picture has a dragon in it, man
Yeah, that's completely:
On me. I keep looking at that picture and seeing some sort of monster canine instead of a dragon. :)
Mike