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On the Proper Care of Trees
Twilight’s steps got less heavy the closer she got to the tree. Autumn was just around the corner, and some of the tree’s leaves had started to turn into a yellowish brown.
“Sorry for being late,“ she said, a faint smile tugging at her lips.
She walked around the tree, examining the trunk. There were no signs of sprouts, or disease on the bark. It looked as healthy as ever. Satisfied, she let out a sigh and opened her saddlebags, rummaging through them until she found a nice set of shears.
“It’s time for your pruning, so let’s get you looking your best, all right?”
She took the instrument in her magic and looked up at the branches, searching for any sign of dead branches. Be it too many dead leaves, or spots where the bark was falling off, her eyes traced every branch, stopping whenever she found one and carefully levitated the shears towards it. With a quick press, she cut off the offending limb and put them all in a pile near the base of the trunk.
“The weather team will clear the skies tomorrow, so you’ll have plenty of sunlight,” Twilight said as she leaned on the tree, trying to get closer to a particularly tough branch. After a while of struggling, it finally relented and she could remove it. “Well, someone’s being stubborn today.”
Satisfied with the work she’d done, she gave a nod and stepped back. She put the shears back into her saddlebags and took out a small shovel.
“Things have been calm around town for the past week. Although there was this travelling carnival which came to town around the twelfth, there were lots of performers, and there was a fireworks show at the end, but I don’t think you could see it all from here.”
A smirk crossed Twilight’s face at her words. Sitting down, she started digging around the base of the tree.
“One meter around the base… Five centimeters into the ground…” she mused as she slowly digged, “Soil’s moisture is at optimal levels! ”
Happy with the result of her test, she returned the ground to its normal state and put the shovel back into her saddlebags. She looked back at the tree, and shot it a playful smirk.
“There’s a light downpour scheduled for this weekend anyway, so don’t you worry about that, you’ll get plenty of water.”
She stood up and walked towards the tree, nestling down on the base of its trunk and looking up at the canopy.
“AJ will be coming on Saturday. She’s going to make sure you’re properly fertilized and healthy. She knows more about trees than me, just be patient with her, you know her eyes aren’t quite what they used to be.”
Twilight rubbed her forehead, feeling the wrinkles move as she did. She looked up at the sky and at the clouds gently being pushed by the wind. A few had clumped together and now made Twilight think back of a pegasus wing as it beat against the wind. After a while of staring at the clouds up, a reddish tint crept into the sky. Just as she started to feel her joints react to the dropping temperature, she stood up and looked down at the plaque on the base of the tree.
“I have to get going… See you next time, Rainbow.”
Twilight’s eyes lingered on the name and date emblazoned in the bronze plaque, but soon enough she turned around, and walked away.
“Sorry for being late,“ she said, a faint smile tugging at her lips.
She walked around the tree, examining the trunk. There were no signs of sprouts, or disease on the bark. It looked as healthy as ever. Satisfied, she let out a sigh and opened her saddlebags, rummaging through them until she found a nice set of shears.
“It’s time for your pruning, so let’s get you looking your best, all right?”
She took the instrument in her magic and looked up at the branches, searching for any sign of dead branches. Be it too many dead leaves, or spots where the bark was falling off, her eyes traced every branch, stopping whenever she found one and carefully levitated the shears towards it. With a quick press, she cut off the offending limb and put them all in a pile near the base of the trunk.
“The weather team will clear the skies tomorrow, so you’ll have plenty of sunlight,” Twilight said as she leaned on the tree, trying to get closer to a particularly tough branch. After a while of struggling, it finally relented and she could remove it. “Well, someone’s being stubborn today.”
Satisfied with the work she’d done, she gave a nod and stepped back. She put the shears back into her saddlebags and took out a small shovel.
“Things have been calm around town for the past week. Although there was this travelling carnival which came to town around the twelfth, there were lots of performers, and there was a fireworks show at the end, but I don’t think you could see it all from here.”
A smirk crossed Twilight’s face at her words. Sitting down, she started digging around the base of the tree.
“One meter around the base… Five centimeters into the ground…” she mused as she slowly digged, “Soil’s moisture is at optimal levels! ”
Happy with the result of her test, she returned the ground to its normal state and put the shovel back into her saddlebags. She looked back at the tree, and shot it a playful smirk.
“There’s a light downpour scheduled for this weekend anyway, so don’t you worry about that, you’ll get plenty of water.”
She stood up and walked towards the tree, nestling down on the base of its trunk and looking up at the canopy.
“AJ will be coming on Saturday. She’s going to make sure you’re properly fertilized and healthy. She knows more about trees than me, just be patient with her, you know her eyes aren’t quite what they used to be.”
Twilight rubbed her forehead, feeling the wrinkles move as she did. She looked up at the sky and at the clouds gently being pushed by the wind. A few had clumped together and now made Twilight think back of a pegasus wing as it beat against the wind. After a while of staring at the clouds up, a reddish tint crept into the sky. Just as she started to feel her joints react to the dropping temperature, she stood up and looked down at the plaque on the base of the tree.
“I have to get going… See you next time, Rainbow.”
Twilight’s eyes lingered on the name and date emblazoned in the bronze plaque, but soon enough she turned around, and walked away.
Pics
...I now have additional questions.
So this story is fairly clean; I was never confused about what was happening, and the little details - like pruning in autumn, which is the correct season for pruning, where nice. However, I feel like it's entirely trying to ride the stinger, and I'm not sure that's strong enough to really make as much of an impact as I'd like.
The thing is, people being gone isn't tragic just because they're gone; it's tragic because of how they die, or who they leave behind; there's some bite there, because we are attached to these characters, but I think if there was a little more information about how/why Dash's grave-marker is a tree, that stinger might land with a bit more force. As it is, I'm mostly left wondering why a tree, not feeling sad or nostalgic or bittersweet or what.
It's a pretty good story, but a bit light on emotional connection, I guess. At least for me.
So this story is fairly clean; I was never confused about what was happening, and the little details - like pruning in autumn, which is the correct season for pruning, where nice. However, I feel like it's entirely trying to ride the stinger, and I'm not sure that's strong enough to really make as much of an impact as I'd like.
The thing is, people being gone isn't tragic just because they're gone; it's tragic because of how they die, or who they leave behind; there's some bite there, because we are attached to these characters, but I think if there was a little more information about how/why Dash's grave-marker is a tree, that stinger might land with a bit more force. As it is, I'm mostly left wondering why a tree, not feeling sad or nostalgic or bittersweet or what.
It's a pretty good story, but a bit light on emotional connection, I guess. At least for me.
Genre: Fluttertree... wait, not Fluttertree? What is this sorcery?
Thoughts: >>Not_A_Hat may have said it first and best: this is a technically clean story that doesn't quite make an emotional connection. I'd say it comes close, though. I feel a lot of curiosity about why Dash ended up being a tree, and that gets me halfway or more to feeling invested in her plight. But there's just no indication of how she ended up this way. !Hat's point about the nature of the death (or transformation) mattering a great deal is apt; again, we don't really know how this happened, etc.
Even if you want to keep it vague and/or don't want to spend much word count on it, give us something to help the audience make the leap that the story is asking of us.
Tier: Almost There
Thoughts: >>Not_A_Hat may have said it first and best: this is a technically clean story that doesn't quite make an emotional connection. I'd say it comes close, though. I feel a lot of curiosity about why Dash ended up being a tree, and that gets me halfway or more to feeling invested in her plight. But there's just no indication of how she ended up this way. !Hat's point about the nature of the death (or transformation) mattering a great deal is apt; again, we don't really know how this happened, etc.
Even if you want to keep it vague and/or don't want to spend much word count on it, give us something to help the audience make the leap that the story is asking of us.
Tier: Almost There
>>CoffeeMinion
Maybe she crashed so hard that they didn't bother picking all the bits from the crater and just planted a tree on the top...
I feel a lot of curiosity about why Dash ended up being a tree
Maybe she crashed so hard that they didn't bother picking all the bits from the crater and just planted a tree on the top...
>>Samey90
Granted, that's possible. But Twilight spends the whole time talking to the tree as if it's more of a close friend than a tree. And as if the tree is closely familiar with her friends.
Unless Twilight has dementia (or something) and just thinks the tree is RD?
Granted, that's possible. But Twilight spends the whole time talking to the tree as if it's more of a close friend than a tree. And as if the tree is closely familiar with her friends.
Unless Twilight has dementia (or something) and just thinks the tree is RD?
>>CoffeeMinion
Well, wonder if Applejack is actually alive then. Though Twilight seems to be aware it's a tree.
Well, wonder if Applejack is actually alive then. Though Twilight seems to be aware it's a tree.
>>Samey90
>>CoffeeMinion
>>Not_A_Hat
I wasn't at 100% that weekend. I know it sounds as an excuse, and it probably is, regardless of how it came to be, I didn't explore this to its fullest. Upon seeing the picture, I got the idea to have Twilight tend to the tree and describe it in an ambiguous way that would make the reader reminisce about Dash, only for the ending to confirm that it was Dash's grave.
I've never been all that great with subtletly or symbolism, but I hope some day I'll be able to pull it off.
Live and learn, I suppose.
Cheers!
>>CoffeeMinion
>>Not_A_Hat
I wasn't at 100% that weekend. I know it sounds as an excuse, and it probably is, regardless of how it came to be, I didn't explore this to its fullest. Upon seeing the picture, I got the idea to have Twilight tend to the tree and describe it in an ambiguous way that would make the reader reminisce about Dash, only for the ending to confirm that it was Dash's grave.
I've never been all that great with subtletly or symbolism, but I hope some day I'll be able to pull it off.
Live and learn, I suppose.
Cheers!