Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Show rules for this event
Exuberant Exhortations
Sarai lay in her bed, bloodshot eyes staring at the ceiling, as she listened to her roommate Tricia get, from the sound of it, proper fucked.
“Oh god, fuck me!” A gasp, a groan. “Oh my god!”
The walls of the flat they rented were reasonably soundproofed against their neighbors, but the air intakes for the adjoining bedrooms were directly across from one-another at the ceiling. Because of this, there was a distinct lack of privacy when it came to, well, nighttime activities. Central air had seemed a godsend when they first moved in – it was rare to find it in a place with rent a pair of college students could afford – but now...
“Yeah, get in there! Uh!”
It had been a long day at work, and all Sarai wanted was to fall into blissful unconsciousness. Alas, with the first soft giggle nearly an hour ago, she knew it was going to be a long night, too.
She sighed as she closed her eyes. It couldn’t possibly be much longer now.
“Oh god… please… ergh!”
It didn’t help that she could imagine the sweat beading upon Tricia’s taut muscles, her roommate’s fingers caressing or pressing in as years of experience had taught her. Sarai couldn’t deny that she had often hoped that Tricia would apply her dexterous talents towards… other pursuits.
That was the problem with only having Tricia’s disembodied voice echoing through the air. It gave Sarai fodder for personal fantasies. It gave rise to uncomfortable feelings.
It gave her needs.
“Uhn! Uhn! Ahh~!”
Tricia had been reduced to incoherent, if enthusiastic, vocalizations – a sure sign of progress towards a climax, for better or for worse.
In spite of herself, Sarai felt her pulse quicken. She bit her lip, and without conscious effort, her hand slid slowly down her belly–
A scream echoed through the wall, then, “Yes! Fuck yes!” There was an exhausted laugh as a hand slapped against a thigh. “God, that was good.”
Sarai let a soft sigh escape her lips as her hand flopped to her side. No release for her pent up frustrations tonight, but at least it was over.
“Alright, next round, let’s go.”
Sarai cursed under her breath as looked at her phone, then shouted, “Tricia, for fuck’s sake, it’s two thirty in the morning! Go to sleep!”
Tricia’s voice tinnily rang through the ductwork. “I’m in promos for Diamond tier, Sarai! One more win and I’m in!” There was a pause, then, quieter, “Okay, let’s get it on, Dr. Mundo.”
That horrifying image now burned into her brain, Sarai rolled her pillow over her face, and no longer cared if she suffocated in her sleep.
“Oh god, fuck me!” A gasp, a groan. “Oh my god!”
The walls of the flat they rented were reasonably soundproofed against their neighbors, but the air intakes for the adjoining bedrooms were directly across from one-another at the ceiling. Because of this, there was a distinct lack of privacy when it came to, well, nighttime activities. Central air had seemed a godsend when they first moved in – it was rare to find it in a place with rent a pair of college students could afford – but now...
“Yeah, get in there! Uh!”
It had been a long day at work, and all Sarai wanted was to fall into blissful unconsciousness. Alas, with the first soft giggle nearly an hour ago, she knew it was going to be a long night, too.
She sighed as she closed her eyes. It couldn’t possibly be much longer now.
“Oh god… please… ergh!”
It didn’t help that she could imagine the sweat beading upon Tricia’s taut muscles, her roommate’s fingers caressing or pressing in as years of experience had taught her. Sarai couldn’t deny that she had often hoped that Tricia would apply her dexterous talents towards… other pursuits.
That was the problem with only having Tricia’s disembodied voice echoing through the air. It gave Sarai fodder for personal fantasies. It gave rise to uncomfortable feelings.
It gave her needs.
“Uhn! Uhn! Ahh~!”
Tricia had been reduced to incoherent, if enthusiastic, vocalizations – a sure sign of progress towards a climax, for better or for worse.
In spite of herself, Sarai felt her pulse quicken. She bit her lip, and without conscious effort, her hand slid slowly down her belly–
A scream echoed through the wall, then, “Yes! Fuck yes!” There was an exhausted laugh as a hand slapped against a thigh. “God, that was good.”
Sarai let a soft sigh escape her lips as her hand flopped to her side. No release for her pent up frustrations tonight, but at least it was over.
“Alright, next round, let’s go.”
Sarai cursed under her breath as looked at her phone, then shouted, “Tricia, for fuck’s sake, it’s two thirty in the morning! Go to sleep!”
Tricia’s voice tinnily rang through the ductwork. “I’m in promos for Diamond tier, Sarai! One more win and I’m in!” There was a pause, then, quieter, “Okay, let’s get it on, Dr. Mundo.”
That horrifying image now burned into her brain, Sarai rolled her pillow over her face, and no longer cared if she suffocated in her sleep.
I have absolutely no idea what's going on in this story. I feel like there's a major reference I'm missing, and without that, I don't get the punchline. Is there even a joke? I don't honestly know.
Aww, with the amount of times Tricia called God in vain, I hoped in the end it'd turn out the Almighty himself came down to fuck her. I wonder if that would be better than Sarai almost having a ride to the sound of her roommate playing LoL which feels kinda sitcom-y (I guess cringe comedy is the proper term).
I have two options: Sarai knew all along, or she didn't.
If she did, that is an astoundingly niche fetish, but I'm certain it exists.
If she didn't (I think it's this one), then she has selective hearing. If the other room is so audible, surely she's hearing frantic keyboard/mouse clacking, and not a casbah being rocked? There's more to sex than moans that end in tildes!
If she did, that is an astoundingly niche fetish, but I'm certain it exists.
If she didn't (I think it's this one), then she has selective hearing. If the other room is so audible, surely she's hearing frantic keyboard/mouse clacking, and not a casbah being rocked? There's more to sex than moans that end in tildes!
I can’t rank that one very high. First, it makes use of an old hat trope. I mean, almost everyone, I think, has written about misunderstanding groans for sexual activity while it was something entirely different.
Ok, if it was only that, it'd made the story dull, especially since we smell a rat from about the get-go.
But your punchline relies on a "private" reference. You can’t possibly end up a story like this one with a wink to a happy-few, since it will leave all the others excluded, and therefore incapable of understanding the only thing you chose to emphasize: the twist.
Sorry :/
Ok, if it was only that, it'd made the story dull, especially since we smell a rat from about the get-go.
But your punchline relies on a "private" reference. You can’t possibly end up a story like this one with a wink to a happy-few, since it will leave all the others excluded, and therefore incapable of understanding the only thing you chose to emphasize: the twist.
Sorry :/
Thanks to >>Hap, >>Samey90, >>Miller Minus, >>Monokeras, and >>Cassius for your feedback, which made this story's shortcomings abundantly clear.
For me, to make this story better, I needed to have Tricia be pursuing e-sports in general, rather than League of Legends specifically, to cast the widest net possible (and ditch the Dr. Mundo throwaway joke, I honestly don't know why I thought that would fly).
From the outset, this story was going to be a one-trick pony, with the hope that it would make at least a few people smile. It's just unfortunate I botched the joke badly enough that the whole thing just feels kinda bleh.
Oh well. There's always next round. /shrug
For me, to make this story better, I needed to have Tricia be pursuing e-sports in general, rather than League of Legends specifically, to cast the widest net possible (and ditch the Dr. Mundo throwaway joke, I honestly don't know why I thought that would fly).
From the outset, this story was going to be a one-trick pony, with the hope that it would make at least a few people smile. It's just unfortunate I botched the joke badly enough that the whole thing just feels kinda bleh.
Oh well. There's always next round. /shrug
>>Icenrose
You learn, and your next attempt is better.
Or worse! Then you learn even more from that one.
Writeoff is a great opportunity to experiment, and to learn. So, yeah, try unconventional things. Learn what works and what doesn't. Eventually you'll get a feel for what works and what doesn't. Theoretically. I'm not there yet.
You learn, and your next attempt is better.
Or worse! Then you learn even more from that one.
Writeoff is a great opportunity to experiment, and to learn. So, yeah, try unconventional things. Learn what works and what doesn't. Eventually you'll get a feel for what works and what doesn't. Theoretically. I'm not there yet.