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Not sure if you meant for this to be funny, but it's got such a grand and over-the-top tone that I couldn't help but giggle. Fits the story very well, in my opinion. Again, really cool work with shading, especially how you differentiated Opal's silhouette from her shadow.
This drawing definitely gives a foreboding feeling. It's very simple, but effective in that. The light would suggest Opal is standing in a doorway, and I'm not sure if making the edges of the light straighter would help or hinder this drawing. One thing that I definitely think would help just a bit is adding more negative space on the floor so that it's Opal that casts the most shadow. This is, however, unnecessary. The image is fine as is.
A good example of what can be done with hatching alone, when you don’t scribble with it.