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This felt more like backstory than story. What's the point beyond furry transformation?
>>TitaniumDragon
Savage. But spot on. Another entry in the "had a worldbuilding concept the author felt was cool; didn't tell a story" genre.
Not a lot to see here, unfortunately. It's pure backstory, and even then, it doesn't really explain why or how the events described happened. "For some odd reason" isn't very satisfying when background explanations are the order of the day.
Still, author, thanks for writing, and congratulations on completing an entry! This seems like you might be relatively new to writing? We hope to see you back - try telling us a story about something cool that happens in your world next time!
Savage. But spot on. Another entry in the "had a worldbuilding concept the author felt was cool; didn't tell a story" genre.
Not a lot to see here, unfortunately. It's pure backstory, and even then, it doesn't really explain why or how the events described happened. "For some odd reason" isn't very satisfying when background explanations are the order of the day.
Still, author, thanks for writing, and congratulations on completing an entry! This seems like you might be relatively new to writing? We hope to see you back - try telling us a story about something cool that happens in your world next time!
Well, I have fair grasp on who could’ve written that.
There’s little to say here. It reads like a mishmash between many concepts: magic, sapient animals, post apocalyptic world, technological damages, war, and so on. But it's like you've put all these ingredients in a shaker and wished hard for something good to come out of it, but the blend is almost tasteless.
The story is almost stark naked in its concept and very naive. It could be an aesop or a children’s story, but even to reach that it would need significant upgrade work. As such, it’s what it looks like: a thread of hardly cobbled together concepts.
There’s little to say here. It reads like a mishmash between many concepts: magic, sapient animals, post apocalyptic world, technological damages, war, and so on. But it's like you've put all these ingredients in a shaker and wished hard for something good to come out of it, but the blend is almost tasteless.
The story is almost stark naked in its concept and very naive. It could be an aesop or a children’s story, but even to reach that it would need significant upgrade work. As such, it’s what it looks like: a thread of hardly cobbled together concepts.
If this is so fundamental to the world's history, I'm surprised that college would be the first time they'd hear of this.
From one sentence to the next, we went from mutual apocalypse to the two sides working together to rebuild. This might have been a stronger story to focus on.
"For some odd reason" does not feel like a strong enough reason for the sudden convergent evolution of two separate species. You might be better served by invoking some higher level power or natural force.
From one sentence to the next, we went from mutual apocalypse to the two sides working together to rebuild. This might have been a stronger story to focus on.
"For some odd reason" does not feel like a strong enough reason for the sudden convergent evolution of two separate species. You might be better served by invoking some higher level power or natural force.
This does some interesting stuff with the italics/non-italics, blending dialogue and narration? That's a neat experiment, and it mostly worked, I think. Some of the teacher's characterization is a bit... caricatured? Simply turning a student into a tree, although it's good for a laugh, seems a little over-the-top.
Using the amount of narration you've done is a great way to pack a lot of content into a small story, but it also tends to have a distancing effect from the narrative; it's harder to make people really care about your conflict if you tell it all in such an abstract form.
Overall, this does several interesting things. I just don't think it's doing any one thing well enough to really stand out.
Using the amount of narration you've done is a great way to pack a lot of content into a small story, but it also tends to have a distancing effect from the narrative; it's harder to make people really care about your conflict if you tell it all in such an abstract form.
Overall, this does several interesting things. I just don't think it's doing any one thing well enough to really stand out.