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TBD · FiM Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
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It's Gonna Get a Little Weird, Gonna Get a Little Wild
It was a sunshiny day and Twilight Sparkle was up early, on her way to Fluttershy's cottage to help with some repairs.

"Come in!" Fluttershy cheerfully said.

She ushered Twilight into the living room, where there was a big fracture in the side of the stone wall. Twilight looked in her toolbox. She had some Iron Will Brand Concrete Crack-Fix, which had worked wonders on patching up her own castle. Still, she glanced over the instructions, like a responsible adult. It only took a few minutes to spread it over the break in the wall and use her unicorn magic to start the process of setting the sealant.

"Thank you ever so much for coming to help," Fluttershy said. "I've had so many new friends from Everfree, and some of them can get awfully rowdy."

"Aw, no problem," Twilight said, smiling. A cute little puppy ran up and jumped against her leg. "Like this little guy? Isn't he the most adora— Ow!"

Twilight stared at the smoke rising from her coat. She looked at the puppy again. It wagged its tail.

"Fluttershy," she said slowly, "Did your puppy just shoot me with lasers from its eyes?"

Fluttershy's wings flapped nervously. "Oh, dear, Barko Diaz, you need to be nice to our guests, you know that! I'm sorry, Twilight."

"It's… okay."

Fluttershy had walked over to the stairs. "Star, please come down. I think the puppy needs to go outside."

"I mean I'm fine, I've just never seen a puppy shoot lasers," Twilight said. "I…"

Twilight's words trailed off when a pink bipedal monkey girl came tumbling down the stairs. She wore a blue dress and had long yellow hair. As soon as she hit the landing, she popped upright again. "I'm good!" she chirped.

"Twilight, this is Star Butterfly," Fluttershy said.

"Hi!"

"Uh, hi," Twilight said. "Who— What—"

"I'll take Barko Diaz out! Back in a bit, mom!" The girl skipped out the front door, the puppy following behind.

"Wait, mom??"

"Oh, yes," Fluttershy said. "Poor Star lost her parents recently, so I decided to adopt her."

"When?"

"Oh, either yesterday or the day before, maybe?"

Princess Luna walked down the stairs. "Oh, Fluttershy, do you think we should paint Star's room with my cutie mark or yours? Which would make her feel more at home?"

"How about both?" Fluttershy smiled warmly. Luna walked over and they nuzzled one another affectionately.

Twilight stared, her eyes the size of dinner plates.

"Oh," Fluttershy said. "I guess I forgot to tell you that Luna and I got married, too. Was that also yesterday?"

"Tis our one day anniversary, then," Luna said. "Huzzah!"

"Did you get the—"

"Oh, yes, here." Luna pulled out a package and handed it to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy put on her glasses to peer at the wrapping. "Oh boy, the shipping is a little much." She began unwrapping it.

Luna shrugged and went back upstairs.

Twilight's brain finally finished rebooting. Fluttershy had pulled a wooden cross out of the wrapping and was advancing on the cottage wall with a hammer and nails.

"No wait," Twilight said. Unable to deal with what was going on, she focused on one tiny detail she could at least wrap her mind around. "You can't put that up."

Fluttershy frowned. "Now that I'm a mother, I think it's important to set a good example for Star. Horse Jesus died for your sins too, Twilight."

"No, I mean…" Twilight jabbed a hoof towards the toolbox. "The sealant! I read the warning label. You can't put wood on it while it's setting or it might release toxic fumes."

"Gosh, Twilight, it's plastic." Fluttershy tapped on the T with a thunk. "You should know better than to get upset about the cross over Crack-Fix when you don't even know the source material."
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#1 ·
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I am familiar with the source material. Am I allowed to get upset?
#2 ·
· · >>Zaid Val'Roa
I am unfamiliar with the source material so the ending left me with nothing.

The rest of the story is quite good, as we slowly see absurdity unwrapping before Twi's (and our) eyes. But the ending, I just don't get it. I'm sure it is funny when you know it.
#3 ·
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for this type of joke (feghoot), this story works well because there's so much misdirection going on. when nothing makes sense, you try to latch on to anything that provides an explanation, and there's lots of hooks here that almost seem grounded. for example, Luna appears, so maybe this is all a weird dream? or when Twilight talks about toxic fumes, implying all this was a bad hallucination. then the punchline hits you out of nowhere, and it's all the more surprising because you were looking the wrong way. (whether this is actually funny or not is subjective taste)

it's not easy to build this kind of joke, and I've failed at attempting similar ones before. this is a good example to study if you want to try one yourself.
#4 ·
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>>Fenton
"You should know better than to get upset about the cross over Crack-Fix when you don't even know the source material."

You should know better than to get upset about the Crossover Crack-Fic when you don't even know the source material.
#5 ·
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ow
#6 ·
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Seriously, I dunno what else to say. I can't recommend anything that will make this better (it does what it set out to do very well), and it's definitely a groaner. Mission accomplished? :derpytongue2:
#7 ·
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This is a top tier Feghoot. It didn't make me laugh as much as the other absurd one I liked but it takes second place so far
#8 ·
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ow