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Recipe for Success / Disaster · Poetry Minific ·
Organised by Anon Y Mous
Word limit 15–1000
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Lessons
A thoughtless student leaves
ooAn orange on the window sill
Without an afterthought

Today they learn to put
ooTheir money in a treasury
And plumb the life ahead

The orange navel green
ooReminds of summer by its tilt
Compounding with a knot.

The teacher stands in back
ooAssessing with an autumn nod
Smiling at a guess

Too small, a hope too grand
ooAn estimate of happiness
Such whimsy spry, unfought.

Another group he chides
ooFor seeming lackadaisical
By talk and foolery

A foot kicked up to rest
ooA colored hood to hold a fleer
Hands formed into a cot

These, he says, in burst
ooOf scorn and indignation—have
Decided what will be.

And in the window hind
ooStands the little clementine
Chiming—oh, for naught!
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#1 · 1
· · >>Heavy_Mole
I'm kind of stumped as to what this means. Bored students during an economics lecture, I think? But I don't know what the orange is supposed to be symbolic of, and I don't know what's happening at the end. How is it chiming? Is this a dream? The split between the teacher's and students' attitude doesn't seem to come to a point. A few of the lines are a syllable off or have a stress pattern a little off. I do like the mood it creates.
#2 ·
·
>>Pascoite
Hmm.

A major part of the premise of this poem was left out: the students are children, maybe eleven or twelve. Something like a home economics class. The orange then symbolizes the kind of thoughtlessness kids have, vis-à-vis the large struggle of life with which the teacher is familiar (summer & autumn).

Thanks for reading, as always.