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Cello Damage
Vinyl looked at Octavia while she sat in the wreckage of Octavia’s broken cello.
Octavia looked back at Vinyl, who was ostensibly sitting in the wreckage of Octavia’s broken cello.
Vinyl opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. Octavia followed suit. The mouth opening and closing dance continued for several seconds until sounds that were words came out of Octavia’s throat.
“Is that my cello?”
Shit, Vinyl thought, she’s on to me. What do I say?
Vinyl lifted up a piece of Octavia’s broken cello. Well, two pieces, actually, because the strings were connecting them. “This? Your cello?” She said as she pointed to the piece of cello that was technically two pieces. “Please, yours wouldn’t break so easily. That’s just crazy talk.”
Octavia raised an eyebrow, not sure if she should buy into Vinyl’s bullshit, which Vinyl was admittedly laying on kind of thick by her approximations of standard bullshit-spouting calculations. “Are you sure that’s not my cello?” Octavia asked. “Because my cello isn’t in my room, so I decided to look around the house and here you are in the living room sitting in the wreckage of a cello which looks quite a bit like my cello.”
A weird smile crossed Vinyl’s face as she stood up, crossed the space between her and Octavia, and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Octy. Roomie. Baby.” Vinyl tittered. “Give me a good reason why I would break your cello.”
Octavia snorted and rolled her eyes. “I don’t think you’d need a good―”
“Okay give me a logical reason why I would break your cello.” This is proving harder than I thought.
“Vinyl, please,” Octavia said as she brushed Vinyl’s hoof off of her shoulder. “I can’t divine why you do half of the things that you do. You don’t even communicate like a normal pony most of the time.” Octavia looked away and snorted. “This awful patchwork house is a perfect exemplar of that.”
Vinyl pursed her lips and pointed a hoof at Octavia. “That is”―shit shit shit come up with something―“completely besides the point.” She set her hoof on the ground. “The point is, I didn’t break your cello.” Vinyl sharply inhaled.
Here comes the money shot.
“The truth is, I accidentally broke a rental cello I got to replace your real cello, which I was having fixed up for your birthday…” shit when’s her birthday “…tomorrow?” A toothy grin presented itself on Vinyl’s face.
Octavia glared at Vinyl’s smiling countenance, taking in every detail. “That.”
She didn’t buy it she didn’t buy it she didn’t buy it she didn’t
“That sounds exactly like something you would do.” Octavia smiled. “You have the most curious ways of being thoughtful.”
Vinyl let out a deep sigh. Score one for coming off as batshit insane! “I’m glad you think so!” Vinyl said as she rushed off to her bedroom. “But in the meantime―” her words punctuated by the sounds of shuffling drawers “―I have another gift!” Vinyl exited her bedroom holding a bag of bits in her magic, which she handed to Octavia.
“What’s this for?” Octavia asked as she carefully examined the coin pouch.
“That, that,” dammit come up with something “that is for a trip to Canterlot, which I would recommend you take.” Vinyl gulped. “Immediately.”
Octavia hefted the bag of bits in her hoof. “I suppose I could use a quick vacation, but I was planning on having a quiet evening to meditate on―”
Vinyl grabbed Octavia and dragged her out the door. “Nope! Not this year! You’re going to Canterlot to celebrate your twenty-sixth―”
“I’m turning thirty-two tomorrow.”
“Thirty-second birthday with a bang, if you’re picking up what I’m putting down,” Vinyl said as she waggled her eyebrows whilst dragging Octavia towards the train station.
“Elaborate,” Octavia said as she finally started following Vinyl.
Vinyl chuckled. “You know, do something nice for yourself. Buy yourself dinner, see a show, get laid―that sort of thing.”
“Are you referring to hiring an escort, perchance?” Octavia said with a snicker.
Vinyl beamed. “Nice to see we’re on the same page!”
Octavia hummed. “I could use the stress relief. Oh look, we’re at the train station.” She patted Vinyl on the shoulder and smiled at her. “I can never figure out what you’re up to, but you’ve always been such a good friend who gives the most thoughtful gifts.”
Vinyl tittered and saluted. “No problem-o, see you tomorrow!”
“See you tomorrow, Vinyl,” Octavia said with a nod before she boarded the train.
Vinyl watched the train leave the station with Octavia on board, a smile plastered on her face which turned to a grimace when the train was out of sight, her blood turning to ice as she walked away.
Shit, she thought to herself as she put a hoof on her forehead, who do I know that can make an exact replica of Octavia’s cello in eighteen hours? She trotted back to her house, her presence eliciting smiles and waves along the way. I should probably assess the damage first before doing anything drastic.
She made it back to her house and looked at the corpse of Octavia’s cello strewn across the floor.
This is a dead cello. She examined the bits and parts, then sat down and picked up two that seemed to fit together as a viridian glow possessed her horn. I think I paid enough attention in Transfiguration to do this…
A bead of sweat dripped down her brow as she encapsulated the two cello pieces in her magic and pressed them together. Upon close inspection, she could see bits of wood latching to each other, bringing a smile to her face. Alright, alright, I got this. Just keep focusing…
The wood suddenly unlatched itself. Vinyl sneered as she brought the two bits of instrument very close to her face and tried pouring more magic into it. C’mon, c’mon, c’mon…
The wood would not yield.
She slammed the two pieces onto the floor, now making it six pieces. “Fucking shit!”
Vinyl pressed a hoof to her muzzle. Who do I know that can solve problems?
“Vinyl, I don’t know anything about fixing cellos,” Rainbow Dash said as she stared at the cello cadaver.
“I don’t need someone who can fix a cello,” Vinyl said with a smile, seated at the couch. “I need a problem solver, and you can solve problems.”
Rainbow looked to the side and stroked her chin. “Yeah, I guess you could say I’m pretty good at that.” She looked down and bit her cheek. “How did it break, anyway?”
“None of your business.”
Rainbow looked at Vinyl. “I was just thinking that maybe if I knew―”
“I said none of your business.”
“Okay, okay,” Rainbow said as she smarted from the verbal assault, “no need to bite my head off.” Rainbow sat down. “Have you tried glue?”
Vinyl shook her head. “Nah, she’d see the cracks. Plus the sound quality would deteriorate noticeably.”
“Okay, then.” Rainbow clapped her hooves together. “Have you considered buying her a new cello?”
“Yeah, sure,” Vinyl said with a snort, “I’m sure I could just walk into Cellos and Scalpels around the corner and say ‘hey buddy you got any cellos made out of the wood of a tree from the Everfree forest?’”
Rainbow looked at Vinyl with a wide-eyed glare. “That’s, um.” She looked down. “Uh huh. You don’t find those everywhere. Who even has a cello like that?”
“Well, Octavia did before I broke it in a completely non-suspicious manner that you shouldn’t ask about anymore.” Vinyl pouted. “There’s one in the Royal Canterlot Orchestra.”
“Yeah, I doubt they’d give you that one,” Rainbow said before she licked her teeth.
Vinyl stood up and wandered around the living room. “And I don’t have nearly enough money to buy it off of them. There’s another one, though, but…”
“But…?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“It’s in the Las Pegasus Music History Museum.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her hoof. “Go on…”
“We’d have to steal it.” Vinyl grunted. “I can’t do it alone, and since you’re like one of the protectors of friendship or whatever, I can’t ask you to help.” Vinyl plopped onto the ground. “Unless you know of a way to un-break a cello, of course, that’s our only option.”
“Hmm.” Rainbow bit her lip. “I’d ask Twilight or Starlight, but they’re off somewhere doing something in the Dragon Lands.” She blew a few strands of hair out of her eyes. “Which is like super inconvenient.” Rainbow’s eyes popped open. “Wait!”
Vinyl’s head snapped to face Rainbow. “You got something?”
Rainbow stood up and paced around manically.”Cellos are like really complicated, right?” Vinyl nodded. “Okay, do you know what else is super complicated? Clothing. And Rarity’s like the best with clothing.”
Vinyl tapped a hoof to her lips. “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
A wicked grin danced across Rainbow’s face. “I think I am.”
“What in Celestia’s name made you think I could fix a cello?” Rarity asked bemusedly.
Rainbow’s jaw dropped as Vinyl buried her face into her hoof. “Come on, Rarity!” Rainbow said. “You’re like really good at fitting things together!”
Rarity walked over to a box and pulled out bolts of fabric. “My talents lie in fabric, not with wood.”
Vinyl snorted.
Rarity pressed her eyes shut. “That was incredibly immature, Vinyl.”
“I don’t see you denying it,” Vinyl said with a smirk.
“That’s because,” Rarity said as she unspooled a bolt of denim, “a lady doesn’t have to deny such an uncouth accusation. Now―” she started cutting out dress shapes from the denim “―how did the cello break?”
Rainbow sighed. “She won’t tell me.”
“Well, then, I suppose everyone has their secrets,” Rarity said. “So is the damage extensive enough that a luthier wouldn’t be able to repair it?”
Vinyl levitated the bag of cello. “You tell me.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty smashed,” Rainbow said.
Vinyl smirked. “I’ll say.”
Rarity groaned. “Have you considered buying―”
“Everfree wood,” Rainbow and Vinyl said simultaneously.
“Well, then.” Rarity hummed. “Have you tried telling her the truth?”
“Oh yeah, that’s a great idea, Rarity,” Vinyl said, “especially after I spent a thousand bits to buy me time to avoid doing exactly that.”
“I suppose you wouldn’t want to waste your investment, then,” Rarity said with a slight growl.
“We just need to,” Vinyl said as she looked down at the bag of cello, “to un-break the cello. Like, um, uh…”
Vinyl made a noise. “Do you think we could use time-travel―”
“No,” Rarity and Rainbow said at the same time.
“You didn’t let me finish,” Vinyl said through gritted teeth.
“We didn’t let you finish because Starlight almost destroyed the world with time-travel,” Rainbow said as Rarity placed the denim onto a dress form.
“Really?” Vinyl asked as her eyes glazed over. “That’s metal.” She then collected herself. “No, I mean like make the cello time-travel to when it was unbroken.”
Rarity sighed. “That sounds like fixing it.”
“No, it’s like ultra fixing it.” Vinyl pulled on her face. “But Twilight and Starlight are out of town, so they can’t…”
Vinyl’s breath hitched. “Don’t you guys have a way to talk to the princesses directly?”
Rainbow sucked on her teeth. “Oh yeah. We do.”
“Rainbow, Vinyl,” Rarity said as she stitched the denim together, “that’s a highly irresponsible use of one’s connections.” She then dropped what she was doing and headed out the door, looking back when she reached the threshold. “Well?”
Rainbow and Vinyl traded glances, then looked at Rarity. “But you just said it was―”
“Spike’s watching the castle. Let’s go,” Rarity said before she left Carousel Boutique.
Vinyl stood up and walked out of the store as well. “You know what, I’m not going to argue.”
Rainbow Dash looked down, then to the side, then left the establishment.
“Oh, Spikey-Wikey, where are you?” Rarity asked, her voice echoing off of the walls of the Crystal Castle. Soon after, the soft pitter-patter of feet echoed across them as well, revealing a very pleased and out of breath Spike.
“Wow, she’s got him whipped,” Vinyl whispered to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow glared back at Vinyl, who frowned and looked away.
“Hey, Rarity,” Spike said between breaths, “what can I do for you?”
Rarity smiled and chuckled. “I’d like to request an audience with Princess Luna concerning a top secret matter.”
Spike stood to attention and saluted. “Can do, Rarity!” he affirmed before he scampered away.
Vinyl pursed her lips and looked around. “So, why not go right to the top of the chain and call in the big guns?”
“You’ll see,” Rarity said with a smirk.
Almost as if on cue, Princess Luna rushed into the castle. “I understand my presence was requested concerning a top secret matter.”
Vinyl looked at Luna, then at Rarity, then at Rainbow, then back at Luna. “That’s service.” Rarity nodded.
“Right, then,” Luna said, “what is this top secret matter for which you required my assistance for?”
Rainbow Dash pushed Vinyl forward. “Go ahead, tell her.”
“Um… Well, uh,” Vinyl continued as she held up the bag of cello, “I was wondering if you could… kind of… cast a spell that could reverse time on this broken cello to fix it.”
Luna grasped the bag in her magic and examined it. “And why could you not bring it to a luthier?”
“Everfree wood,” the three other mares in the room said simultaneously.
“I see,” Luna said. “Everfree wood is notoriously hard to mend, the structure being nearly as unruly as the forest that it spawned from. The very fact that the three of you were able to retain the presence of thought to focus on getting it repaired is a testament to your psychic fortitude.”
Rainbow and Rarity traded glances. “Princess Luna,” Rarity said, “it was actually Vinyl who kept us focused on fixing it.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow added. “Vinyl was super focused on getting it fixed after she accidentally broke it.”
Luna looked at the three mares in turn, her gaze finally resting on Vinyl. “And what possessed you to push for getting it fixed?”
Vinyl blushed and scratched the back of her neck. “Because it… because it belongs to my friend and roommate, and that cello means a lot to her.” Vinyl exhaled. “She told me she got it as a filly and that it’s survived for almost thirty years.”
“Hm,” Luna said as she glanced between the bag of cello and the mare responsible for breaking it. “So how did you break it?”
“And that,” Vinyl said as she clapped her hooves together and inhaled sharply, “is a story for another day!”
“Come on.” Luna chuckled. “You are in the presence of the being who attempted to blanket Equestria in Eternal Night. Surely it cannot be more embarrassing than that.”
Vinyl looked around the room at the three mares who were obviously very curious as to how she managed to break the cello, and she decided that they deserved an answer. “Well, since you’re all dying to know…”
All three mares stared at Vinyl, their eyes as wide as saucers. Rarity wore a tight-lipped expression, Rainbow’s jaw was dropped, and Luna just looked really confused.
“Uh huh,” Rarity said.
Rainbow slowly closed her mouth. “Wow.”
Luna looked away and pursed her lips. “I was not aware that one would think to―”
“Alright, Princess Luna, are you able to fix the cello or not?” Vinyl interjected.
“U-uh, yes.” Luna exhaled. “Yes, I am.”
Octavia came home to her patchwork dwelling with bagged and bloodshot eyes as well as a contented ache in her stomach. She definitely enjoyed her night out.
“Vinyl?” she asked.
A murmur of affirmation came from Vinyl’s bedroom.
“Just letting you know that I made it home safely,” she said as she went to her own bedroom, smiling when she saw her cello on its stand. “You were absolutely right. Taking a night out on Canterlot was a splendid idea, and I still have change left over.”
Octavia looked at the cello. It definitely appeared to be in a markedly better condition than she remembered it possessing before.
I guess I could test it out.
She grabbed a nearby bow, positioned herself next to the cello, and dragged the bow across the strings, producing an incredibly crisp sound. If she didn’t know better, she’d venture to guess that it sounded better than when she first got it. The smile on Octavia’s face traveled to her heart.
You’re strange, but a great friend nonetheless.
Octavia looked back at Vinyl, who was ostensibly sitting in the wreckage of Octavia’s broken cello.
Vinyl opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. Octavia followed suit. The mouth opening and closing dance continued for several seconds until sounds that were words came out of Octavia’s throat.
“Is that my cello?”
Shit, Vinyl thought, she’s on to me. What do I say?
Vinyl lifted up a piece of Octavia’s broken cello. Well, two pieces, actually, because the strings were connecting them. “This? Your cello?” She said as she pointed to the piece of cello that was technically two pieces. “Please, yours wouldn’t break so easily. That’s just crazy talk.”
Octavia raised an eyebrow, not sure if she should buy into Vinyl’s bullshit, which Vinyl was admittedly laying on kind of thick by her approximations of standard bullshit-spouting calculations. “Are you sure that’s not my cello?” Octavia asked. “Because my cello isn’t in my room, so I decided to look around the house and here you are in the living room sitting in the wreckage of a cello which looks quite a bit like my cello.”
A weird smile crossed Vinyl’s face as she stood up, crossed the space between her and Octavia, and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Octy. Roomie. Baby.” Vinyl tittered. “Give me a good reason why I would break your cello.”
Octavia snorted and rolled her eyes. “I don’t think you’d need a good―”
“Okay give me a logical reason why I would break your cello.” This is proving harder than I thought.
“Vinyl, please,” Octavia said as she brushed Vinyl’s hoof off of her shoulder. “I can’t divine why you do half of the things that you do. You don’t even communicate like a normal pony most of the time.” Octavia looked away and snorted. “This awful patchwork house is a perfect exemplar of that.”
Vinyl pursed her lips and pointed a hoof at Octavia. “That is”―shit shit shit come up with something―“completely besides the point.” She set her hoof on the ground. “The point is, I didn’t break your cello.” Vinyl sharply inhaled.
Here comes the money shot.
“The truth is, I accidentally broke a rental cello I got to replace your real cello, which I was having fixed up for your birthday…” shit when’s her birthday “…tomorrow?” A toothy grin presented itself on Vinyl’s face.
Octavia glared at Vinyl’s smiling countenance, taking in every detail. “That.”
She didn’t buy it she didn’t buy it she didn’t buy it she didn’t
“That sounds exactly like something you would do.” Octavia smiled. “You have the most curious ways of being thoughtful.”
Vinyl let out a deep sigh. Score one for coming off as batshit insane! “I’m glad you think so!” Vinyl said as she rushed off to her bedroom. “But in the meantime―” her words punctuated by the sounds of shuffling drawers “―I have another gift!” Vinyl exited her bedroom holding a bag of bits in her magic, which she handed to Octavia.
“What’s this for?” Octavia asked as she carefully examined the coin pouch.
“That, that,” dammit come up with something “that is for a trip to Canterlot, which I would recommend you take.” Vinyl gulped. “Immediately.”
Octavia hefted the bag of bits in her hoof. “I suppose I could use a quick vacation, but I was planning on having a quiet evening to meditate on―”
Vinyl grabbed Octavia and dragged her out the door. “Nope! Not this year! You’re going to Canterlot to celebrate your twenty-sixth―”
“I’m turning thirty-two tomorrow.”
“Thirty-second birthday with a bang, if you’re picking up what I’m putting down,” Vinyl said as she waggled her eyebrows whilst dragging Octavia towards the train station.
“Elaborate,” Octavia said as she finally started following Vinyl.
Vinyl chuckled. “You know, do something nice for yourself. Buy yourself dinner, see a show, get laid―that sort of thing.”
“Are you referring to hiring an escort, perchance?” Octavia said with a snicker.
Vinyl beamed. “Nice to see we’re on the same page!”
Octavia hummed. “I could use the stress relief. Oh look, we’re at the train station.” She patted Vinyl on the shoulder and smiled at her. “I can never figure out what you’re up to, but you’ve always been such a good friend who gives the most thoughtful gifts.”
Vinyl tittered and saluted. “No problem-o, see you tomorrow!”
“See you tomorrow, Vinyl,” Octavia said with a nod before she boarded the train.
Vinyl watched the train leave the station with Octavia on board, a smile plastered on her face which turned to a grimace when the train was out of sight, her blood turning to ice as she walked away.
Shit, she thought to herself as she put a hoof on her forehead, who do I know that can make an exact replica of Octavia’s cello in eighteen hours? She trotted back to her house, her presence eliciting smiles and waves along the way. I should probably assess the damage first before doing anything drastic.
She made it back to her house and looked at the corpse of Octavia’s cello strewn across the floor.
This is a dead cello. She examined the bits and parts, then sat down and picked up two that seemed to fit together as a viridian glow possessed her horn. I think I paid enough attention in Transfiguration to do this…
A bead of sweat dripped down her brow as she encapsulated the two cello pieces in her magic and pressed them together. Upon close inspection, she could see bits of wood latching to each other, bringing a smile to her face. Alright, alright, I got this. Just keep focusing…
The wood suddenly unlatched itself. Vinyl sneered as she brought the two bits of instrument very close to her face and tried pouring more magic into it. C’mon, c’mon, c’mon…
The wood would not yield.
She slammed the two pieces onto the floor, now making it six pieces. “Fucking shit!”
Vinyl pressed a hoof to her muzzle. Who do I know that can solve problems?
“Vinyl, I don’t know anything about fixing cellos,” Rainbow Dash said as she stared at the cello cadaver.
“I don’t need someone who can fix a cello,” Vinyl said with a smile, seated at the couch. “I need a problem solver, and you can solve problems.”
Rainbow looked to the side and stroked her chin. “Yeah, I guess you could say I’m pretty good at that.” She looked down and bit her cheek. “How did it break, anyway?”
“None of your business.”
Rainbow looked at Vinyl. “I was just thinking that maybe if I knew―”
“I said none of your business.”
“Okay, okay,” Rainbow said as she smarted from the verbal assault, “no need to bite my head off.” Rainbow sat down. “Have you tried glue?”
Vinyl shook her head. “Nah, she’d see the cracks. Plus the sound quality would deteriorate noticeably.”
“Okay, then.” Rainbow clapped her hooves together. “Have you considered buying her a new cello?”
“Yeah, sure,” Vinyl said with a snort, “I’m sure I could just walk into Cellos and Scalpels around the corner and say ‘hey buddy you got any cellos made out of the wood of a tree from the Everfree forest?’”
Rainbow looked at Vinyl with a wide-eyed glare. “That’s, um.” She looked down. “Uh huh. You don’t find those everywhere. Who even has a cello like that?”
“Well, Octavia did before I broke it in a completely non-suspicious manner that you shouldn’t ask about anymore.” Vinyl pouted. “There’s one in the Royal Canterlot Orchestra.”
“Yeah, I doubt they’d give you that one,” Rainbow said before she licked her teeth.
Vinyl stood up and wandered around the living room. “And I don’t have nearly enough money to buy it off of them. There’s another one, though, but…”
“But…?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“It’s in the Las Pegasus Music History Museum.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her hoof. “Go on…”
“We’d have to steal it.” Vinyl grunted. “I can’t do it alone, and since you’re like one of the protectors of friendship or whatever, I can’t ask you to help.” Vinyl plopped onto the ground. “Unless you know of a way to un-break a cello, of course, that’s our only option.”
“Hmm.” Rainbow bit her lip. “I’d ask Twilight or Starlight, but they’re off somewhere doing something in the Dragon Lands.” She blew a few strands of hair out of her eyes. “Which is like super inconvenient.” Rainbow’s eyes popped open. “Wait!”
Vinyl’s head snapped to face Rainbow. “You got something?”
Rainbow stood up and paced around manically.”Cellos are like really complicated, right?” Vinyl nodded. “Okay, do you know what else is super complicated? Clothing. And Rarity’s like the best with clothing.”
Vinyl tapped a hoof to her lips. “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
A wicked grin danced across Rainbow’s face. “I think I am.”
“What in Celestia’s name made you think I could fix a cello?” Rarity asked bemusedly.
Rainbow’s jaw dropped as Vinyl buried her face into her hoof. “Come on, Rarity!” Rainbow said. “You’re like really good at fitting things together!”
Rarity walked over to a box and pulled out bolts of fabric. “My talents lie in fabric, not with wood.”
Vinyl snorted.
Rarity pressed her eyes shut. “That was incredibly immature, Vinyl.”
“I don’t see you denying it,” Vinyl said with a smirk.
“That’s because,” Rarity said as she unspooled a bolt of denim, “a lady doesn’t have to deny such an uncouth accusation. Now―” she started cutting out dress shapes from the denim “―how did the cello break?”
Rainbow sighed. “She won’t tell me.”
“Well, then, I suppose everyone has their secrets,” Rarity said. “So is the damage extensive enough that a luthier wouldn’t be able to repair it?”
Vinyl levitated the bag of cello. “You tell me.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty smashed,” Rainbow said.
Vinyl smirked. “I’ll say.”
Rarity groaned. “Have you considered buying―”
“Everfree wood,” Rainbow and Vinyl said simultaneously.
“Well, then.” Rarity hummed. “Have you tried telling her the truth?”
“Oh yeah, that’s a great idea, Rarity,” Vinyl said, “especially after I spent a thousand bits to buy me time to avoid doing exactly that.”
“I suppose you wouldn’t want to waste your investment, then,” Rarity said with a slight growl.
“We just need to,” Vinyl said as she looked down at the bag of cello, “to un-break the cello. Like, um, uh…”
Vinyl made a noise. “Do you think we could use time-travel―”
“No,” Rarity and Rainbow said at the same time.
“You didn’t let me finish,” Vinyl said through gritted teeth.
“We didn’t let you finish because Starlight almost destroyed the world with time-travel,” Rainbow said as Rarity placed the denim onto a dress form.
“Really?” Vinyl asked as her eyes glazed over. “That’s metal.” She then collected herself. “No, I mean like make the cello time-travel to when it was unbroken.”
Rarity sighed. “That sounds like fixing it.”
“No, it’s like ultra fixing it.” Vinyl pulled on her face. “But Twilight and Starlight are out of town, so they can’t…”
Vinyl’s breath hitched. “Don’t you guys have a way to talk to the princesses directly?”
Rainbow sucked on her teeth. “Oh yeah. We do.”
“Rainbow, Vinyl,” Rarity said as she stitched the denim together, “that’s a highly irresponsible use of one’s connections.” She then dropped what she was doing and headed out the door, looking back when she reached the threshold. “Well?”
Rainbow and Vinyl traded glances, then looked at Rarity. “But you just said it was―”
“Spike’s watching the castle. Let’s go,” Rarity said before she left Carousel Boutique.
Vinyl stood up and walked out of the store as well. “You know what, I’m not going to argue.”
Rainbow Dash looked down, then to the side, then left the establishment.
“Oh, Spikey-Wikey, where are you?” Rarity asked, her voice echoing off of the walls of the Crystal Castle. Soon after, the soft pitter-patter of feet echoed across them as well, revealing a very pleased and out of breath Spike.
“Wow, she’s got him whipped,” Vinyl whispered to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow glared back at Vinyl, who frowned and looked away.
“Hey, Rarity,” Spike said between breaths, “what can I do for you?”
Rarity smiled and chuckled. “I’d like to request an audience with Princess Luna concerning a top secret matter.”
Spike stood to attention and saluted. “Can do, Rarity!” he affirmed before he scampered away.
Vinyl pursed her lips and looked around. “So, why not go right to the top of the chain and call in the big guns?”
“You’ll see,” Rarity said with a smirk.
Almost as if on cue, Princess Luna rushed into the castle. “I understand my presence was requested concerning a top secret matter.”
Vinyl looked at Luna, then at Rarity, then at Rainbow, then back at Luna. “That’s service.” Rarity nodded.
“Right, then,” Luna said, “what is this top secret matter for which you required my assistance for?”
Rainbow Dash pushed Vinyl forward. “Go ahead, tell her.”
“Um… Well, uh,” Vinyl continued as she held up the bag of cello, “I was wondering if you could… kind of… cast a spell that could reverse time on this broken cello to fix it.”
Luna grasped the bag in her magic and examined it. “And why could you not bring it to a luthier?”
“Everfree wood,” the three other mares in the room said simultaneously.
“I see,” Luna said. “Everfree wood is notoriously hard to mend, the structure being nearly as unruly as the forest that it spawned from. The very fact that the three of you were able to retain the presence of thought to focus on getting it repaired is a testament to your psychic fortitude.”
Rainbow and Rarity traded glances. “Princess Luna,” Rarity said, “it was actually Vinyl who kept us focused on fixing it.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow added. “Vinyl was super focused on getting it fixed after she accidentally broke it.”
Luna looked at the three mares in turn, her gaze finally resting on Vinyl. “And what possessed you to push for getting it fixed?”
Vinyl blushed and scratched the back of her neck. “Because it… because it belongs to my friend and roommate, and that cello means a lot to her.” Vinyl exhaled. “She told me she got it as a filly and that it’s survived for almost thirty years.”
“Hm,” Luna said as she glanced between the bag of cello and the mare responsible for breaking it. “So how did you break it?”
“And that,” Vinyl said as she clapped her hooves together and inhaled sharply, “is a story for another day!”
“Come on.” Luna chuckled. “You are in the presence of the being who attempted to blanket Equestria in Eternal Night. Surely it cannot be more embarrassing than that.”
Vinyl looked around the room at the three mares who were obviously very curious as to how she managed to break the cello, and she decided that they deserved an answer. “Well, since you’re all dying to know…”
All three mares stared at Vinyl, their eyes as wide as saucers. Rarity wore a tight-lipped expression, Rainbow’s jaw was dropped, and Luna just looked really confused.
“Uh huh,” Rarity said.
Rainbow slowly closed her mouth. “Wow.”
Luna looked away and pursed her lips. “I was not aware that one would think to―”
“Alright, Princess Luna, are you able to fix the cello or not?” Vinyl interjected.
“U-uh, yes.” Luna exhaled. “Yes, I am.”
Octavia came home to her patchwork dwelling with bagged and bloodshot eyes as well as a contented ache in her stomach. She definitely enjoyed her night out.
“Vinyl?” she asked.
A murmur of affirmation came from Vinyl’s bedroom.
“Just letting you know that I made it home safely,” she said as she went to her own bedroom, smiling when she saw her cello on its stand. “You were absolutely right. Taking a night out on Canterlot was a splendid idea, and I still have change left over.”
Octavia looked at the cello. It definitely appeared to be in a markedly better condition than she remembered it possessing before.
I guess I could test it out.
She grabbed a nearby bow, positioned herself next to the cello, and dragged the bow across the strings, producing an incredibly crisp sound. If she didn’t know better, she’d venture to guess that it sounded better than when she first got it. The smile on Octavia’s face traveled to her heart.
You’re strange, but a great friend nonetheless.
Pics
It seems you aimed for something simple with this story and you reached something simple.
Aside from that (and a few nitpicks), I don't really know what to say. The story is very Slice of Life, to a certain point where I feel it could be done the same with only a few sentences.
Nothing great came out and nothing terrible came out. Even if you never tell why and how Vinyl broke Octavia's cello, I wasn't really pissed by it, just a bit annoyed. It was still a pleasant reading but I think it lacks that little spark who makes stories shine brighter (even if they have some flaws).
The premise is good, the execution is too and the ending follows suit.
That's why before I'll dive into nitpicking, I would still offer some encouragements for a later rework, because from my POV, I think you can make this story great by emphasizing one little thing or two.
For the little details, the beginning felt a bit clumsy with the repetitions of 'Vinyl' and 'Octavia' and the fact that the POV starts as an external one before jumping from Vinyl to Octavia.
Conclusion: solid and good but unfortunately forgetable. Probably a mid-tier.
Aside from that (and a few nitpicks), I don't really know what to say. The story is very Slice of Life, to a certain point where I feel it could be done the same with only a few sentences.
Nothing great came out and nothing terrible came out. Even if you never tell why and how Vinyl broke Octavia's cello, I wasn't really pissed by it, just a bit annoyed. It was still a pleasant reading but I think it lacks that little spark who makes stories shine brighter (even if they have some flaws).
The premise is good, the execution is too and the ending follows suit.
That's why before I'll dive into nitpicking, I would still offer some encouragements for a later rework, because from my POV, I think you can make this story great by emphasizing one little thing or two.
For the little details, the beginning felt a bit clumsy with the repetitions of 'Vinyl' and 'Octavia' and the fact that the POV starts as an external one before jumping from Vinyl to Octavia.
Conclusion: solid and good but unfortunately forgetable. Probably a mid-tier.
>skipping past Vinyl's explanation
Sweetie Belle: OH COME ON
the opening was almost cringe-comedy, but then I really laughed at Octavia believing the excuses after all. this is a good setup for a comedic story! Vinyl wants to fix the cello, and she'll do anything possible to make it happen... as long as she doesn't have to be honest or responsible. I really loved how Rainbow and Rarity are introduced to the plot with this flimsy logic that they'll know just what to do. this could lead just about anywhere and still be interesting.
but here it leads to.... well...... you were rushed, weren't you author? this is just a deus ex machina instant resolution. and the final scene doesn't even have a good punchline. well, too bad. the early sections were still quite enjoyable, so I hope you don't throw this idea away.
Sweetie Belle: OH COME ON
the opening was almost cringe-comedy, but then I really laughed at Octavia believing the excuses after all. this is a good setup for a comedic story! Vinyl wants to fix the cello, and she'll do anything possible to make it happen... as long as she doesn't have to be honest or responsible. I really loved how Rainbow and Rarity are introduced to the plot with this flimsy logic that they'll know just what to do. this could lead just about anywhere and still be interesting.
but here it leads to.... well...... you were rushed, weren't you author? this is just a deus ex machina instant resolution. and the final scene doesn't even have a good punchline. well, too bad. the early sections were still quite enjoyable, so I hope you don't throw this idea away.
The idea of someone breaking something and scrambling around to fix it so the person doesn't know what you did is a solid comedic trope, but this story didn't really feel like it did anything terrible exciting or novel with it, it was just sort of a base-level execution. This story lacked a strong sense of serial escalation, which limited its humorous potential; rather, it felt quite flat. Nothing in it felt all that funny, and the conclusion just kind of was there.
Cute, but overall dragged down a bit by its pacing, I think. While the overall tone is amusing, I don't think any of the jokes particularly get the necessary time to be built up or breather. The biggest whammies just kinda slam in without any fanfare, and thing that I think should get legitimate laughs only end up getting small smiles. The biggest punchline (as it were) doesn't really pan out for me because once Vinyl starts denying talking about the cello breakage, I sorta assumed that was what was the final punch was gonna be.
Your perspective is a bit weird, bouncing between something like 3rd Limited and 3rd Omniscient, which is always distracting. Moreover, Vinyl has -so much- thought in the first scene that the absence is really obvious later in. Pick a type of perspective and stick to it!
Voicing is for the most part good, though I think Rainbow Dash sounds a little off on word choice, but I'd need to rewatch some pone to be sure. Great voicing otherwise though.
Your perspective is a bit weird, bouncing between something like 3rd Limited and 3rd Omniscient, which is always distracting. Moreover, Vinyl has -so much- thought in the first scene that the absence is really obvious later in. Pick a type of perspective and stick to it!
Voicing is for the most part good, though I think Rainbow Dash sounds a little off on word choice, but I'd need to rewatch some pone to be sure. Great voicing otherwise though.
While it was a little amusing... there's little in the way of actual story here. We don't get to find out what actually happened to the cello. We don't find out what Octavia did in Canterlot (though that's not strictly required) and the ending... wasn't really an ending. The cello was fixed. There's... just not a lot there.
A couple voice things. Rainbow and Rarity were done pretty well, Vinyl felt uninspired and Octavia didn't give a sense of refinement at all. I think with a lot of polish and some more thought to the story, it could indeed be made serviceable.
A couple voice things. Rainbow and Rarity were done pretty well, Vinyl felt uninspired and Octavia didn't give a sense of refinement at all. I think with a lot of polish and some more thought to the story, it could indeed be made serviceable.
I think I'm in agreement with everyone else. It's a good idea and a decent story, but it lacks something to make it stand out.
If you don't mind me inflicting them on you, I have a few thoughts on this piece (take them as you will):
It could be possible to have there be a couple more links in the 'chain' of ponies that Vinyl goes to; the more places she goes, the more desperate she'll seem.
Also, it might be good to leave out the Mane 6 entirely and instead have Vinyl simply go to background ponies (the Doctor and Derpy/Muffins, for example); I think the story would be able to support that, and it would fit better with a story centered on Vinyl and Octavia.
Finally, since this is a story about someone running around trying to fix a problem, the solution could be something the character ran into at the beginning, so as to create a sense of irony. (As an example, what if Octavia has broken the cello before and has a method of fixing it up, good as new? At the end of the story Vinyl finds that, if she had just been up front with Octavia in the beginning, the problem would have been solved immediately and she wouldn't have had to run around town all day.)
Anyway, the overall idea is fun, and I thank you for sharing this.
If you don't mind me inflicting them on you, I have a few thoughts on this piece (take them as you will):
It could be possible to have there be a couple more links in the 'chain' of ponies that Vinyl goes to; the more places she goes, the more desperate she'll seem.
Also, it might be good to leave out the Mane 6 entirely and instead have Vinyl simply go to background ponies (the Doctor and Derpy/Muffins, for example); I think the story would be able to support that, and it would fit better with a story centered on Vinyl and Octavia.
Finally, since this is a story about someone running around trying to fix a problem, the solution could be something the character ran into at the beginning, so as to create a sense of irony. (As an example, what if Octavia has broken the cello before and has a method of fixing it up, good as new? At the end of the story Vinyl finds that, if she had just been up front with Octavia in the beginning, the problem would have been solved immediately and she wouldn't have had to run around town all day.)
Anyway, the overall idea is fun, and I thank you for sharing this.
My last couple days have been excessively interesting, including an attempt to drive to Whinny City Pony Con that ran aground due to family health issues. So for this story I don't have a ton to say other than that it was funny. Could probably be stronger with some cleanup, but I am satisfied customer.
Tier: StrongBad
Tier: Strong
>>Novel_Idea My thoughts exactly. It's funny; the material is good, and there's a comical non-logic to Vinyl's approach to problem-solving, but the framework of the story, and the plot, feel weak.
I also am not sure I like the deus ex machina trope being played completely straight. I mean, Luna being in the story has potential, but the fact that she just solves the problem, with little arm-twisting or cajoling, is a very weak note to end on.
I also am not sure I like the deus ex machina trope being played completely straight. I mean, Luna being in the story has potential, but the fact that she just solves the problem, with little arm-twisting or cajoling, is a very weak note to end on.