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Oops, sorry I forgot:
Good Little Bunny
This story was translated/adapted from this French children book whose title exactly means the same. This book is a cute allegory about [the endless struggle between] capitalism and anarchism (at least to me) and is the epitome of the good children book: cute, fun, happy ending, but with a different takeaway whether you're the kid or the adult.
Much of the difficulty here was to transcribe acceptably well the message conveyed by the images. Especially the last one, which depicts a slew of wolves ensnared by the rabbits' devices. I fear the solution i came with was somewhat underwhelming. :(
On the contrary, I added some extra creep to the factory to make it more the semblance of a nazi camp. I don't think it panned out :P
I agree the beginning was extraneous, I added it because I thought it would make the link with the prompt more obvious. Which was a bad decision if any.
In any case, I was really surprised that you appreciated this “cute mid-tier story”, as GGA aptly described it, enough to let it slip into the finals. This was unexpected and pleasant, so thanks a bunch for that too! ;)
PS: Back to Sisyphus. “One must imagine Sisyphus happy,” writes Camus. Maybe I'm Sisyphus, and that boulder is a metaphor for the many stories I submitted round after round to the WriteOff. In that case, Camus is right! ;)
Good Little Bunny
This story was translated/adapted from this French children book whose title exactly means the same. This book is a cute allegory about [the endless struggle between] capitalism and anarchism (at least to me) and is the epitome of the good children book: cute, fun, happy ending, but with a different takeaway whether you're the kid or the adult.
Much of the difficulty here was to transcribe acceptably well the message conveyed by the images. Especially the last one, which depicts a slew of wolves ensnared by the rabbits' devices. I fear the solution i came with was somewhat underwhelming. :(
On the contrary, I added some extra creep to the factory to make it more the semblance of a nazi camp. I don't think it panned out :P
I agree the beginning was extraneous, I added it because I thought it would make the link with the prompt more obvious. Which was a bad decision if any.
In any case, I was really surprised that you appreciated this “cute mid-tier story”, as GGA aptly described it, enough to let it slip into the finals. This was unexpected and pleasant, so thanks a bunch for that too! ;)
PS: Back to Sisyphus. “One must imagine Sisyphus happy,” writes Camus. Maybe I'm Sisyphus, and that boulder is a metaphor for the many stories I submitted round after round to the WriteOff. In that case, Camus is right! ;)
Ha! Just this once I'm not going to post my retrospective weeks after everyone else! ;>
So, obviously, I wrote Blurred Lines.
I was actually rather pleased with this one. As has been the case lately, this was written under severe time constraints. I had about three hours in the morning, and perhaps one in the evening to churn this out. And all things considered, I thought it came out fairly well!
To be honest, this whole idea was kinda heavily based on some of Terry Prachet's work. "Good Omens" in particular. I liked the idea of a angel and demon who, despite being 'enemies,' are bound together by their disgust with the celestial bureaucracy and befuddled by human malleability.
>>RawCringe
The codicil is supposed to compensate for humanity's fickle nature. After all, Vlad the Impaler is a figure out of nightmares today, but at the time he was considered a pretty good king by his people. And Hitler and the Nazi's were very popular in Germany, and around the world in the 30's. A decade later, they're the new face of evil. Makes keeping score between Heaven and Hell a bit tricky, doesn't it?
And enjoying it? They're pretty much spending eternity doing bookkeeping! That's a hell even a demon would think excessive! ;>
>>Astrarian
I was actually kinda please with the whole 'preface' bit... I thought I as being clever. :/ You know, the whole "East Berlin" and "West Berlin" thing? Or am I totally dating myself in this day and age? O.o The fact that it was a 'recent' tradition, only 50 years old, was supposed to reinforce their ages. And the lack of distinction between East and West was supposed to reflect how frustratingly muddled things had become.
>>Monokeras
I really didn't have anyone in particular picked out for the individual at the end... I was thinking someone along the lins of the Vanderbilt's or Carnegies. Rich robber barons, often rather unscrupulous... And yet massive philanthropists who's institutions remain to this day...
>>Not_A_Hat
Well, I suppose the point is that humans and human morality is twisty, variable, and malleable enough to dive even god's to tears? As for only discussing outliers... Both characters are more or less celestial accountants / referees going over spreadsheets and looking for discrepancies and disagreements. 99.9% of the entries are going to agree, so of course they're only going to discuss the outliers and unusual items.
>>Shadowed_Song
Thanks! Glad you liked it! :)
>>Trick_Question
Eh. Mother Theresa was the most 'saintly' person I could think of, and I faintly recall some condemnation of her methods... But honestly, I know little about her and don't particularly care either way. She's just a stand in for a 'good' person who's image is later revealed to be tarnished... Just like the generic serial killer who 'repents' and does good work, or the stereotypical robber baron who starts a thousand charities.
And yeah, the eternal stalemate is more or less why they think this whole "use the mortals as proxies" thing has turned into a complete nightmare. ;>
>>FrontSevens
That was sorta/kinda intentional? Part of the point is that, yeah, they're from opposite sides... But by and large they're more similar than different. Two sides of the same coin as it were.. But still part of one coin. They're doing the same job, with the same frustrations, and the same headaches.. just doing it from different sides. ;>
>>AndrewRogue
Well, they kinda are exhausted bureaucrats that have little to separate them, aside from the line drawn between angels and devils... Who are complaining about how hard it is to draw neat lines between humans. ;>
>>georg
Thanks! Glad you liked it! :)
>>Haze
Hmmmmm..you know, I've never looked into ancient demographics and mortality. I know people used to live into their 60s and 70s even in medieval times, but that those were generally outliers and/or nobility... But how do they even calculate the life expectancy of ancient times? I'm pretty sure they don't have accurate census records from those ages... How do they eve know what infant mortality was in, say, 1280AD? Though now that I think about it, I suppose a lot of that can be betermined by examining cemeteries and whatnot. Hmmmmmm... Food for thought. :)
Annndd, done! And in a reasonable amount of time for once! :yay!: Thanks you everyone who commented! I appreciate all the feedback! :)
Alas, the odds of me actually entering the next write off are very close to zero, as I will be busy on vacation / on an airplane the whole day. So, good luck to next week's writers! :)
So, obviously, I wrote Blurred Lines.
I was actually rather pleased with this one. As has been the case lately, this was written under severe time constraints. I had about three hours in the morning, and perhaps one in the evening to churn this out. And all things considered, I thought it came out fairly well!
To be honest, this whole idea was kinda heavily based on some of Terry Prachet's work. "Good Omens" in particular. I liked the idea of a angel and demon who, despite being 'enemies,' are bound together by their disgust with the celestial bureaucracy and befuddled by human malleability.
>>RawCringe
The codicil is supposed to compensate for humanity's fickle nature. After all, Vlad the Impaler is a figure out of nightmares today, but at the time he was considered a pretty good king by his people. And Hitler and the Nazi's were very popular in Germany, and around the world in the 30's. A decade later, they're the new face of evil. Makes keeping score between Heaven and Hell a bit tricky, doesn't it?
And enjoying it? They're pretty much spending eternity doing bookkeeping! That's a hell even a demon would think excessive! ;>
>>Astrarian
I was actually kinda please with the whole 'preface' bit... I thought I as being clever. :/ You know, the whole "East Berlin" and "West Berlin" thing? Or am I totally dating myself in this day and age? O.o The fact that it was a 'recent' tradition, only 50 years old, was supposed to reinforce their ages. And the lack of distinction between East and West was supposed to reflect how frustratingly muddled things had become.
>>Monokeras
I really didn't have anyone in particular picked out for the individual at the end... I was thinking someone along the lins of the Vanderbilt's or Carnegies. Rich robber barons, often rather unscrupulous... And yet massive philanthropists who's institutions remain to this day...
>>Not_A_Hat
Well, I suppose the point is that humans and human morality is twisty, variable, and malleable enough to dive even god's to tears? As for only discussing outliers... Both characters are more or less celestial accountants / referees going over spreadsheets and looking for discrepancies and disagreements. 99.9% of the entries are going to agree, so of course they're only going to discuss the outliers and unusual items.
>>Shadowed_Song
Thanks! Glad you liked it! :)
>>Trick_Question
Eh. Mother Theresa was the most 'saintly' person I could think of, and I faintly recall some condemnation of her methods... But honestly, I know little about her and don't particularly care either way. She's just a stand in for a 'good' person who's image is later revealed to be tarnished... Just like the generic serial killer who 'repents' and does good work, or the stereotypical robber baron who starts a thousand charities.
And yeah, the eternal stalemate is more or less why they think this whole "use the mortals as proxies" thing has turned into a complete nightmare. ;>
>>FrontSevens
That was sorta/kinda intentional? Part of the point is that, yeah, they're from opposite sides... But by and large they're more similar than different. Two sides of the same coin as it were.. But still part of one coin. They're doing the same job, with the same frustrations, and the same headaches.. just doing it from different sides. ;>
>>AndrewRogue
Well, they kinda are exhausted bureaucrats that have little to separate them, aside from the line drawn between angels and devils... Who are complaining about how hard it is to draw neat lines between humans. ;>
>>georg
Thanks! Glad you liked it! :)
>>Haze
Hmmmmm..you know, I've never looked into ancient demographics and mortality. I know people used to live into their 60s and 70s even in medieval times, but that those were generally outliers and/or nobility... But how do they even calculate the life expectancy of ancient times? I'm pretty sure they don't have accurate census records from those ages... How do they eve know what infant mortality was in, say, 1280AD? Though now that I think about it, I suppose a lot of that can be betermined by examining cemeteries and whatnot. Hmmmmmm... Food for thought. :)
Annndd, done! And in a reasonable amount of time for once! :yay!: Thanks you everyone who commented! I appreciate all the feedback! :)
Alas, the odds of me actually entering the next write off are very close to zero, as I will be busy on vacation / on an airplane the whole day. So, good luck to next week's writers! :)
>>FrontSevens
If we take it from the top, and see the sun setting as he moon comes up?
While the cursing of words does support the wrighting, it is not definitely proving it.
If you connect the loss of words with the moon, instead of the end of the day or deadline; what do we have?
The walls closing in, sounds like a problem from something other than a wrighting issue?
Tried to say, sounds as if you are incapable of speach, rather than hit by speachlock.
If you hear voices that are not there, is it halucination, or from the distance?
Why doesn't the girl want to scare the charcter?
For the alternative conclusion; werewolf coming to mind.
If we take it from the top, and see the sun setting as he moon comes up?
While the cursing of words does support the wrighting, it is not definitely proving it.
If you connect the loss of words with the moon, instead of the end of the day or deadline; what do we have?
The walls closing in, sounds like a problem from something other than a wrighting issue?
Tried to say, sounds as if you are incapable of speach, rather than hit by speachlock.
If you hear voices that are not there, is it halucination, or from the distance?
Why doesn't the girl want to scare the charcter?
For the alternative conclusion; werewolf coming to mind.
>>FrontSevens
For some additional on the idea; even if the beginning may have been a wrighter, it is not the end of the story.
The secod segment is looking like a vague description of a transformation from a dissoriented and frustrated perspective.
The third segment is more of a menal stuggle and issues.
The end deals with the girl behind the wall, but who is she?
For some additional on the idea; even if the beginning may have been a wrighter, it is not the end of the story.
The secod segment is looking like a vague description of a transformation from a dissoriented and frustrated perspective.
The third segment is more of a menal stuggle and issues.
The end deals with the girl behind the wall, but who is she?
>>Ritsuko
>>Ritsuko
All of these things weren't made clear in your story though. If you wanted the reader to look for these things, make them actually feel like they should be looked at deeper, not that they're just things kinda happening. Also, I think most people assume a story -especially a minific- is going to be focusing on one idea unless another idea is very clearly stated, so having the beginning be about writing and the rest be about things that could very easily be read as being about writing wasn't exactly telling the reader that something deeper was going on beneath the surface.
Furthermore, I don't really see much point in bringing up things in a story that will just never be resolved. If she never does anything important in the story, what's the point of the girl being there and why should I care who she is? If something is vague and not elaborated on, what's the point of trying to suss out any meaning when it doesn't hold much relevance in the story anyways? If you want your readers to be asking questions about the "why" of all the parts of your stories, make all the parts feel important instead of kinda glossed over, and make all those parts have actual bearing on the story.
>>Ritsuko
All of these things weren't made clear in your story though. If you wanted the reader to look for these things, make them actually feel like they should be looked at deeper, not that they're just things kinda happening. Also, I think most people assume a story -especially a minific- is going to be focusing on one idea unless another idea is very clearly stated, so having the beginning be about writing and the rest be about things that could very easily be read as being about writing wasn't exactly telling the reader that something deeper was going on beneath the surface.
Furthermore, I don't really see much point in bringing up things in a story that will just never be resolved. If she never does anything important in the story, what's the point of the girl being there and why should I care who she is? If something is vague and not elaborated on, what's the point of trying to suss out any meaning when it doesn't hold much relevance in the story anyways? If you want your readers to be asking questions about the "why" of all the parts of your stories, make all the parts feel important instead of kinda glossed over, and make all those parts have actual bearing on the story.