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If I'm reading right, this is kind of a personification of air? All the nasty things it does, but we need it to live. i like the word choices here, the rhymes all work well, and the syllable count is constant, but there's not quite a regular rhythm to it. You can force it into iambic pentameter if you want to, but it ends up sounding odd with that stress pattern. Pretty good.
I don't find any flaws in the meter, and I like the way the rhymes link between stanzas, even looping back to the beginning. I also appreciate it when poems don't feel obligated to end sentences (or clauses, for that matter) at the ends of lines. Kind of an over-the-top message about living in harmony with nature, but one well taken.
Okay, I get that this is a wheat harvest, but I'm not sure what all the synonyms of cutting are doing, why they're alphabetized (with a couple of them out of order), and what the intervening line is doing. It kind of gives me the feeling the poet wants me to be sympathetic with the grass, but I'm not sure. I can tell there's an intended effect, but I can't figure out what it is, so it's not working on me. Before the list, the rhymes were clean and didn't seem to have any meter. A few of the word choices struck me as odd, like Chevening. As far as I can find, it's just a place in England, so is that just where this is taking place? I don't know what that setting adds, and I don't know how many people would know where that was anyway. I like the mood of it, but it makes me feel like I'm missing something.
>>Pascoite
Was trying to make the poem look like a scythe. Could have formatted the top part better, but decided against that because someone would have complained or asked: "Why does this look weird? You don't have poems formatted like this!" I should have told that thought to pound sand and just went nuts.
Was trying to make the poem look like a scythe. Could have formatted the top part better, but decided against that because someone would have complained or asked: "Why does this look weird? You don't have poems formatted like this!" I should have told that thought to pound sand and just went nuts.