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A Totally Ordinary Human Who Is Not At All the Sun Princess
#16270 · 3
· on Glass
So yes. This is more stream of consciousness of my mood at the time than anything else, hence no story, because it wans't so much a story as a brief essay on a set of feelings. Apologies on that aspet, but also not really sorry since it was more a 'Sunny, make something' project than anything else. Just ...yea. It got melancholy fast.

>>Astrarian
The title is 'Glass' as in a combination of 'Feeling fragile as glass' and also like, walking through a field of broken glass in which any action is pain, but so is inaction.
#15875 ·
· on Twilight Sparkle vs. The Heat Death of the Universe · >>Xepher
Totally read this after the end and was like 'This is going to be a new version of The Last Question, isn't it?

And it was, and it was nice to see a different answer, and it was a fun journey, and had I not read The Last Question I would love it way more.

But I admit, as I consider The Last Question to be like, my favorite story ever, this suffers because it compares so readily to it and, well, it isn't found wanting. It's just hurt a touch by me going 'Ah, but Asimov did it better'

On the other hoof, if my only complaint is 'Asimov did it the best' I suppose that's a good person to be competing with :)
#15874 · 3
· on The Dressmaker's Lament · >>Bachiavellian
So, this did significantly better than what I was expecting. I mean, I had this idea I wanted to do, yes? Except it was Sunday night and I still hadn't figured out an angle, so I said fuckit, I'll sit down and write about having no ideas.

But doing it directly was feeling meh, and then suddenly, hey, let's do it was Rarity and of course dresses and basically just come up with every way I can complain via her about having no ideas until it's 2,000 words in!

Which is why it is florid and purple and goes nowhere through the bulk of it, because I was literally writing just to write and did not care that it was probably bad. The goal was always 'Do SOMETHING' because hey, no improvement without practice/effort.

And then near the end I hit on 'Wait, what if it's her own wedding?' because originally the client was some snooty Canterlot pony and the dress was just a dress, but a ton of my friends are Rarilestia trash of late and the concept Rarity was getting married suddenly leapt to mind. This was also because around 1400 or 1500 words I was completely dry on ways to kvetch until I hit the wedding angle and it gave me fresh life to go through the end.

And thus, well, this. It's totally florid and purple and likely either overlong or simply heavily unpolished because it was pure stream of consciousness of 'Write, write, write, what nah, IDEA, write, write, done, submit!'

Hence no foreshadowing early on, overly purple, and so forth. And yet apparently some people loved it which is great!

>>The Power Wolf
>>Zaid Val'Roa
>>Rao
Glad you liked it, and double props to Rao because that's exactly what it was.

>>Trick_Question
I didn't reveal long before the twist because until the near-end, because during most of it there was no planned twist! And that's also why it's somewhat overly florid, it's completely unedited and in need of a ruthless polishing which I probably will not do, knowing me and it will languish with my other unedited stories, ah well!

>>Bachiavellian
This one produces a question - what plot-thread? I mean the dilemma is 'I dont know what to do', and then it's just being along for the ride, really. I can think of a bit of extra whimsy or two, but mostly the core won't change.

>>AndrewRogue
Pff, this is the fault of Carapace/Mono getting Silfoe & Amar addicted to it. Mostly Silfoe though since she's a friend.

>>MrNumbers
>>GaPJaxie
There was no substance through most of the writing so yea, it was all spices. Totally guilty on that one! If I pursue it further I'll have the advantage of central conflict going through it all and have some ideas like it being 'The Last Dress' she's stuck on (Because of course she made the Bridesmaid's Dresses and Celestia has her own (Because bride can't see pre-wedding day and Rarity IS the bride), and is stuck on her own and then the eventual reveal that that's why she's having so much trouble or something.

But that's all contingent on going back. But yes, the criticism is pretty much totally on point and I knew that going in.

>>Xepher
>>Winston
It's a bit tonal breaking, but I am a sucker for that silly meme. And at the time (And Xepher picked up on this) the goal was length and the idea produced extra paragraphs I needed then!

So yea, thanks everyone! Feedback is apt, and I will totally cop to 'Story was a rush job of 'write just to write'' so this is the totally unvarnished first draft that is definitely flawed and having said flaws so poignantly pointed to be benficial. Arrr. Them crabs is fearsome foes.
#15694 ·
· on The First Princess · >>moonwhisper
I thought this was cute, belatedly, although the idea that Sibsy is making Gen 5 is an amusing one.

I don't know if that was intentional or not, but it seems a bit off base!
#15208 ·
·
Oh hey a thing. I have an idea, but hrrmmm
#13997 · 2
· on Copenhagen
Hi! So yes, this was me. The short version was me wanting to play around with another character voice who is not Pinkie Pie in Sweet and Sour.

And after being bereft of ideas - I had a few silly shipping ideas and one I may use in the future, I just said 'Fuck it', sat down, and let Luna narrate.

This is what came out. It's not so much a story, exactly, yet at the same time it is. Nonstandard narrative structure, yes, but - well, unless one contends that it is non-fictional than it must be fiction. Who knows?

>>Zaid Val'Roa
The Hasbro being the Hero we all need is an amusing concept.

>>Dubs_Rewatcher
I sort of...let whatever the character voice wanted to say get said. When it stopped going narrative, I just sorta shrugged and went with it.

>>CoffeeMinion
Thanks for this one and glad it sort of worked for you in an odd way! And yea. It's just..a thing. I don't know how to explain it! It is, and I'm content with it.
#13737 · 2
·
>>Baal Bunny
Just stream of consciousness if need be!
#13711 ·
· · >>Baal Bunny
I forgot this was on this weekend till just now. Phew.
#13235 ·
· on It's Gonna Get a Little Weird, Gonna Get a Little Wild
This is a top tier Feghoot. It didn't make me laugh as much as the other absurd one I liked but it takes second place so far
#13234 ·
· on The Beautiful Deity · >>Trick_Question
Wait, Fluttershy became a God of Harmony?

That just raises so many questions.
#13230 · 3
· on (Apple) Jacked In
>>Trick_Question
AJ has gone partially crazy and is hearing voices. Her first idea was the Apple Matrix. A new idea? Yea.

This story made me bust a gut. Good job, author. It's my kind of absurd
#12984 · 3
·
Whatever, deadline missed, so have a dumb thing I scribbled in 5 minutes that is mad meta, because at least this way I wrote something:

Writer’s block is the worst, Twilight Sparkle thought to herself as she stared at the empty parchment before her. Creative writing wasn’t something she indulged in particularly often, but after reading 101 Ways to Enhance Your Knowledge and learning that creative writing was proven to do all sorts of fun neurological things - or at least, perhaps, it was strongly hinted that it would - well, Twilight had taken to it with gusto!
Which meant, more accurately, that she had completely failed to come up with anything relevant. Just hours of staring at a blank paper, made all the worse when Ponyville had been invaded by a swarm of miniaturized giant space Breezies.
Now, giant space Breezies never really made their way to Equestria, at least not the civilized parts. There were too many ponies around. They preferred wide open spaces like the desert, but the miniaturized giant space Breezies had found all of Ponyville to be adequately wide and open for them, and even though they were only the size of gnats, that made it all the worse because to them a pony’s mouth equaled ‘Cave’ and - well, it turned out this tribe really liked cave exploration. Every single kind of cave they could find, it turned out. Mouths had remained safe because breathing outwards tended to blow them away, but -
“Nope! Nope, nope, nope! Not thinking about that any more!” The solution had been to remove the size-changing hex, at which point they returned to their normal Breezie size, and though there were a good number of awkwardly yelping mares - and a couple stallions - soon the tribe had reformed, realized Ponyville did not suit their tastes at all, and absconded to parts unknown.
It was at that that Twilight finally had her stroke of genius! Creative writing, yes! OF course! She would write about the miniature giant space Breezies, but rather than invade Ponyville she would have them invade Canterlot! They could overtake the castle and cause all sorts of mayhem! Why, just imaginging those stuffed pompous nobles in Parliament and her mentor reacting to all of it and…
Twilight began to break down in giggles at the thought of Celestia and Luna in the aftermath. Oh dear. In fact…
Her quill hit parchment, and she started to scribble like lightning. Words poured from her quill and soon enough front and back of parchment were filled with something rather absurd - not quite perfect, but it was the effort that counted.
Twilight smiled in satisfaction, rolled it up to send it in and looked at the clock.
“Bucking DEADLINE!” she screamed, and in a burst of magic the paper was incinerated.
In her haste though, she’d used the wrong kind of flame.
In the end, she didn’t win the contest, but she won something else: A series of increasingly awkward letters to and from Princess Celestia explaining her ‘fanfiction’.
#12954 ·
·
Hayseeds. I completely forgot about this until just now because yesterday was so busy. Blugh
#12880 ·
·
Super meta
#12411 · 2
· on Unnatural Remedies
So I've been really busy this week hence no reviews on my end for which I apologize to people.

>>Ranmilia
This is actually accurate! I have a whole lot more that was planned but basically I ran out of energy.

Fluttershy was going to show up with Zecora, and long story short they'd figure out that the Phoenix totally ate a bunch of poison joke and that's why Celestia is all head-noodled, Luna is totally asleep and Twilight is suddenly Smol.

Meanwhile Horselestia was going to see Twilight as her filly and hijinx would ensue as Twilight tries to get her to stop and Celestia won't and so on and so on.

I wasn't quite sure what my ending was going to be other than the usual poison joke cure wouldn't work.

>>Rao
She's a horse. She doesn't talk, she whinnies and whatnot. That's why! And yes. It was a dig at trickle-down.

>>AndrewRogue
I didn't go completely over the top. If I finish and publish this I might. I haven't decided.

>>horizon
Not drug abuse! More like 'Oops the Phoenix was spiked with Poison Joke'. And me ending it because I wanted to go to bed when it had another 5k+ words to go to be truly done.

>>Posh
Yes! All accurate.

>>Xepher
No, not a feghoot. It's taking Posh's challenge and ending early because I got sleepy.

Anyhoo! Thanks for comments everyone!
#12219 · 1
· on THAUMIC FIRES: A PRACTICAL APPROACH · >>moonwhisper
>>Rao
This.

I mean, ultimately, this is not a story. There is no plot here. It's a guidebook to made up magic, which could be fun if either
A. The magic system is interesting enough to make the guidebook fascinating
B. The guidebook is humorous in nature and the stylistic choice is part of the planned humor.

Unfortunately, I felt neither here, so this fell totally flat for me and came across more as pure gimmick.
#12154 ·
· on Shadow of the Sun
>>JudgeDeadd
Same - There's 4 pieces that are competing for the top 3 slots for me, way above everything else. This one takes my top, though, for several reasons:

1. Largely open-ended as to what you can write about with it.
2. Very clear prompt connection
3. Art quality is quite good, evoking the show but keeping artist's style in play.
Bonus #4. It's adorably cute.

The other 3 pieces in the running all hit at least 2 of the first 3, but none manages to do all of them.
#12075 ·
·
>>Haze
I haven't thought about ideas at all till this morning or written a word.
#12072 · 1
·
>>CoffeeMinion
And this. I have an idea I really, really like, but to make it work my options for the art right now are basically 'shoehorn something in' or 'ignore them entirely', which is a far cry from the way the prompts worked previously.
#12071 · 1
· · >>Haze >>Ranmilia
>>Dubs_Rewatcher
It's not meant to be insulting or derogatory. What I am attempting to convey is that this is a writer-centric hub. If you wish to assert that the previous contests quality of art (Which at the time of my previous post is all there was to go by) in the contests thusfar is equivalent to the quality of writing, you are free to do so. I disagree.

I can say 'I do not think these are of similar quality' without meaning any insult to those submitting art pieces. Effort and quality are two separate categories. I could labor for 30 hours to try to solve a complex multivariable calculus equation and my end product would be, with virtual certainty, inferior to a single hour's work on the same problem by a PhD with a specialization in that field.

When I originally posted, I was thinking of 'Rising from the Ashes' submissions in particular, and if you wish to disagree a large portion don't appear as if they were rendered in Paint, that's your right! But I am going to politely disagree, and I do so without meaning insult to those who took part.

What I am ultimately upset with, as noted, is feeling constrained by that. 'Must be based on the artwork to a reasonable degree' means that, say, if I want to write a story that does not include Celestia or Luna in any way, 10/19 submissions are unusable. If I want to do a story without Alicorns, CMCs, or Mane 6, that's 13/19 pieces gone that directly depict them. If I add in the abstract pieces that imply one of the above or are extremely hard to avoid, you are down to 'Into Flight', 'Her Eye Forever Gazes Down' and 'Among the Limelight' (Though I suspect Limelight is about Dash, the pony there could be any pegasus), and maaaybe 'Flow'.

And that's completely independent of art quality, and part of why I am saying the 'Now writer is subordinate to artist' thing feels like it rankles here since it seems the new norm. I'd rather the rules encourage people to use the artworks but not mandate it, and why I was expressing early on that I was/am considering just ignoring art pieces entirely and going for whatever idea I like.
#12065 · 1
· on Into Flight · >>Super_Trampoline >>CoffeeMinion
Well, as they always say, don't Blink.
#12045 · 3
· · >>Dubs_Rewatcher >>CoffeeMinion >>Ranmilia >>moonwhisper
>>The_Letter_J

It's more 'I want to use the Prompt without an Art Piece that I have to work off', yes.

I have 0 issue with using the prompts for writing. Never have. And while last time using GGA's picture ended up working hilariously for me (Even if I missed the deadline so it went up on Fimfic instead), the art being a required component means the artists are free to do whatever they like and then the writers are constrained by that, which...ehhh.

FiM events have already gone from every 4 to 6 weeks to make room for OF, and if they're going to all be Art rounds too in perpetuity it's...kind of less fun. Not to knock people doing art pieces, but yea, most tend to be MSPaint mockups. The caliber of art quality is not the same as the writing quality. Which is fine - we're mostly writers here, after all - but it then feels bleh being further constrained by that.

>>Fenton

I think that only STRENGTHENS my argument. And yea, it was an Archer reference because one of the running gags is despite Archer being generally an obnoxious ass most of the time, he is also incredibly well versed in literary & film analysis, so people will be talking and out of nowhere he'll bust out some deep line about art or metaphysics or the symbolism of X work of art, then look at everyone else and be boggled that they don't get something so seemingly obvious.

Sort of like Sterling in your mini-bit.
#12024 · 2
· · >>MLPmatthewl419 >>The_Letter_J >>Fenton >>Fenton
>>Fenton
Sterling is just so naughty.

Anyhow are art rounds going to be A Thing in perpetuity now? I mean they're cool but...well, unless we're free to just say screw it and work with prompt only which I might do because why not.
#11837 ·
· on Poetry for Children
>>Posh
Maybe in some meta weird way idk!
#11642 · 1
· on Poetry for Children · >>Posh
>>Dubs_Rewatcher
>>Chryssi
>>MLPmatthewl419
>>Ceffyl_Dwr
>>Light_Striker
>>CoffeeMinion
>>Posh
>>Aragon
>>Misternick
>>Xepher
>>Fenton
>>eusocialdragon
>>AndrewRogue
>>georg
>>JudgeDeadd

I'm slow on the turnaround but thanks for commentary!

Really, to sum it up nice and simple : I was on vacation, wanted to do an entry, start the poetry segment as stream of consciousness, decide that's not working - and then just deciding to let whatever happens happen.

So uhm - not exactly a trollfic so much as 'Speedfic Rushjob' to actually enter something, and the bits on literary analysis and meta-commentary that people found, while awesome, were not intentional but I am glad it accidentally had depth for some readers!
Paging WIP