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If you wonder which prompt was submitted
By whom, let your brows not be knitted.
When seeking the source,
There's an easier course;
Just ask who the prompt benefited.
By whom, let your brows not be knitted.
When seeking the source,
There's an easier course;
Just ask who the prompt benefited.
>>GroaningGreyAgony
>>CoffeeMinion
Good to see I'm not the only one who found something a little off about the prompt roster...
>>CoffeeMinion
Good to see I'm not the only one who found something a little off about the prompt roster...
This is maybe:
My favorite of the non-WIlliam Carlos Williams fan poems this round. Simple, direct, to-the-point: what's not to like? Maybe the title could be all lower-case, or it could've been called "Title Pending" or something. But other than that, I got nothing.
Mike
My favorite of the non-WIlliam Carlos Williams fan poems this round. Simple, direct, to-the-point: what's not to like? Maybe the title could be all lower-case, or it could've been called "Title Pending" or something. But other than that, I got nothing.
Mike
Mm, goodness I love the imagery in this one; it’s very visceral, and the concrete addition of the word placement is a huge favorite of mine.
The last line in a punch all on its own and honestly, it’s fine as is—I can’t help but to feel like it still needs something. The bluntness does help it quite a bit, yet something still doesn’t feel quite... “there” (helpful, I know). Regardless, excellent work.
The last line in a punch all on its own and honestly, it’s fine as is—I can’t help but to feel like it still needs something. The bluntness does help it quite a bit, yet something still doesn’t feel quite... “there” (helpful, I know). Regardless, excellent work.
This is very tight, clear, concise. Like a fair few of the other entries here, it shares a deliberate concrete structure that is incredibly evocative; it’s my weak point, however, so I am biased in saying so.
This poem sets out to do what it wants to do very well; I can feel some of these lines—and there’s enough mystique in them to capture thought after reading. It does hinge on a very deliberate emotion, and that could be a turnoff to those not ready for the intensity. But whatever; great poem.
This poem sets out to do what it wants to do very well; I can feel some of these lines—and there’s enough mystique in them to capture thought after reading. It does hinge on a very deliberate emotion, and that could be a turnoff to those not ready for the intensity. But whatever; great poem.
It starts strong and has some decent imagery, but I’m not too sure about the final stanzas; the break from the rest of the rhyming scheme seems almost intentional, but I can’t put my finger on it as to why. I can’t really tell if it hurts the poem—but going by general rules of poetry I think it might be better off without them. Perhaps combine the two together and rework the theme song of each into a single stanza that reflects the themes of it in full?
I feel like I’m gonna have the hot take here and say I wasn't super fond of this one; it’s clever, and honestly, the more I think about it, the more I like it. Still... it didn’t really grab me. It’s a super common theme and doesn’t really do all that much for me in general.
Pros: it tell the story with so little, and something we all know very well.
Cons: I’ve seen this kind of story so many times in the writeoffs before, and outside of it too.
Additional praise: this is the most clever iteration of it I’ve read.
Chalk it up to my own tastes. Possible abstention? I’ll need to ruminate more as I am a very deep thinker with many robust folds and creases in my brain
Pros: it tell the story with so little, and something we all know very well.
Cons: I’ve seen this kind of story so many times in the writeoffs before, and outside of it too.
Additional praise: this is the most clever iteration of it I’ve read.
Chalk it up to my own tastes. Possible abstention? I’ll need to ruminate more as I am a very deep thinker with many robust folds and creases in my brain
You know, I kinda didn’t like this one at first but it’s really grown on me; especially interesting is that my initial thought about it—that it lacked “personality”—becomes weaker and weaker held with each reread.
It is certainly obfuscated well in its words—aside from contextual pickings that lead one to figure out what the setting is and the mood (as well as some gut-wrenchingly evocative imagery in the penultimate stanza), it’s difficult to dredge through some of these lines to figure out what they mean. More thought and more re-reads should help determine which ones don’t work and which ones fly over my shriveled peanut brain.
Also, I think this is the only poem I’ve read this round that is almost certainly pony! That definitely ramps up the final lines there for a real emotional pun(ch).
It is certainly obfuscated well in its words—aside from contextual pickings that lead one to figure out what the setting is and the mood (as well as some gut-wrenchingly evocative imagery in the penultimate stanza), it’s difficult to dredge through some of these lines to figure out what they mean. More thought and more re-reads should help determine which ones don’t work and which ones fly over my shriveled peanut brain.
Also, I think this is the only poem I’ve read this round that is almost certainly pony! That definitely ramps up the final lines there for a real emotional pun(ch).
I'm guessing:
From the titles, structures, and imagery--water, lizards, apocalypses--that this poem, this poem, and this poem are, if not a triptych, then are at least by the same author. And while I hate having to say it, they all three strike me as jigsaw puzzles with most of the pieces missing.
I'm just not getting anything from them other than water, lizards, and apocalypses. In this one, though, unless it's somehow a political poem, I think "Biden" should probably be "Bidden", and unless it's got something to do with cartilage in the ribcage, "costal" should maybe be "coastal." But after several read-throughs of each, nothing's conveying any real meaning to me....
Mike
From the titles, structures, and imagery--water, lizards, apocalypses--that this poem, this poem, and this poem are, if not a triptych, then are at least by the same author. And while I hate having to say it, they all three strike me as jigsaw puzzles with most of the pieces missing.
I'm just not getting anything from them other than water, lizards, and apocalypses. In this one, though, unless it's somehow a political poem, I think "Biden" should probably be "Bidden", and unless it's got something to do with cartilage in the ribcage, "costal" should maybe be "coastal." But after several read-throughs of each, nothing's conveying any real meaning to me....
Mike
This isn't bad... but for me, the biggest problem it has is setting up expectations. The first pair of lines is more clever with the wordplay than the rest, because of the way the rhyme is set up. You've swapped the beginning consonant sounds of the second and third words while still retaining a meaning that seems to work for setting up a mood or plot. But then you don't do this kind of clever swapping through the rest. Then the third line ends with a different sound than the rest, and if you did that to make a point, it's lost on me. The first pair of lines is also the only one that uses a different rhyme sound than the rest, and again, if you meant something by that, I'm not getting what.
In terms of there being a plot, I think there is one, but only a few of the lines drive it. Line 1 suggests some subterfuge to the whole thing, the second a tragic ending. I guess line 3 might say the protagonist only has a vague idea either of what his purpose is or the subterfuge against him. Line 4 just says he's off on his journey. Through the next 3 lines, "fight" is the only thing I get out of that, which is kind of implied by the end anyway, so the middle of the poem doesn't do much, at least in my understanding of it. The last 4 lines pack a good punch, though, but since I don't know what the relationships of the various characters are, I don't know what importance to assign it. The knight apparently failed, someone was sad for him, "tide" might suggest overwhelming odds, and someone died, but I don't know whether the wight is the knight, the bright, or some other character.
It's a kind of story that invites the reader to make up their own story, I guess. I like the idea, but there seems to be a fair amount of filler, and the beginning hints at structural decisions that the rest doesn't follow through on.
In terms of there being a plot, I think there is one, but only a few of the lines drive it. Line 1 suggests some subterfuge to the whole thing, the second a tragic ending. I guess line 3 might say the protagonist only has a vague idea either of what his purpose is or the subterfuge against him. Line 4 just says he's off on his journey. Through the next 3 lines, "fight" is the only thing I get out of that, which is kind of implied by the end anyway, so the middle of the poem doesn't do much, at least in my understanding of it. The last 4 lines pack a good punch, though, but since I don't know what the relationships of the various characters are, I don't know what importance to assign it. The knight apparently failed, someone was sad for him, "tide" might suggest overwhelming odds, and someone died, but I don't know whether the wight is the knight, the bright, or some other character.
It's a kind of story that invites the reader to make up their own story, I guess. I like the idea, but there seems to be a fair amount of filler, and the beginning hints at structural decisions that the rest doesn't follow through on.
I have mixed feelings about this, mostly because for most of the things I see that are inconsistent, I can also think of perfectly justifiable reasons why they could be.
For one, there's no meter here, and the rhymes are really inconsistent. Some stanzas have different rhyme schemes than others, some don't seem to have one at all, unless you're really stretching for what's a valid rhyme. But since you're not using a particular form, there's not really a reason it has to be regular.
There's no rhythm, but when coupling that with the near-rhymes most of the lines have (and maybe the shifting rhyme pattern, though that's harder to accept), this feels less like a poem to be read and more like something you might see as song lyrics. It's pretty common for those to have weaker rhymes and to use different cadences to fit lines of different lengths into the same number of beats, or to have musical phrasings of different lengths.
So overall, I take this more as a song than a poem, and in that context, I like it more.
There's a pretty clear theme (to me, at least) of substance abuse and depression, so I'm not left mystified as to what this is about.
The only thing that rubs me the wrong way is that there are 3 poems that have the same kind of title, and I'm betting they'll all turn out to be by the same person. If so, then that creates two problems, and since this is the first of that batch I'm reading, I'll only mention it here.
One, I at least hope the 3 will tell different stories. Someone tried telling a bigger story than they could in a single entry in a minific round before by splitting it over several entries and titling them as successive parts, and that violated the rules. Here, you could have made them all a single entry without going over the word limit, so it's not that you were trying to get around the rules. If they do end up being a unified narrative, I'm not sure how that would come into play then. I'd think it would just weaken them all, since none of them tells a complete story. But since that may not even be the case, I'll wait and see. However, it does tend to make it too obvious that the same author wrote all three, which probably technically doesn't break the anonymity rule, but it still kind of doesn't sit right with me.
For one, there's no meter here, and the rhymes are really inconsistent. Some stanzas have different rhyme schemes than others, some don't seem to have one at all, unless you're really stretching for what's a valid rhyme. But since you're not using a particular form, there's not really a reason it has to be regular.
There's no rhythm, but when coupling that with the near-rhymes most of the lines have (and maybe the shifting rhyme pattern, though that's harder to accept), this feels less like a poem to be read and more like something you might see as song lyrics. It's pretty common for those to have weaker rhymes and to use different cadences to fit lines of different lengths into the same number of beats, or to have musical phrasings of different lengths.
So overall, I take this more as a song than a poem, and in that context, I like it more.
There's a pretty clear theme (to me, at least) of substance abuse and depression, so I'm not left mystified as to what this is about.
The only thing that rubs me the wrong way is that there are 3 poems that have the same kind of title, and I'm betting they'll all turn out to be by the same person. If so, then that creates two problems, and since this is the first of that batch I'm reading, I'll only mention it here.
One, I at least hope the 3 will tell different stories. Someone tried telling a bigger story than they could in a single entry in a minific round before by splitting it over several entries and titling them as successive parts, and that violated the rules. Here, you could have made them all a single entry without going over the word limit, so it's not that you were trying to get around the rules. If they do end up being a unified narrative, I'm not sure how that would come into play then. I'd think it would just weaken them all, since none of them tells a complete story. But since that may not even be the case, I'll wait and see. However, it does tend to make it too obvious that the same author wrote all three, which probably technically doesn't break the anonymity rule, but it still kind of doesn't sit right with me.
If I'm supposed to get something from the spatial arrangement, it's lost on me, but I like the imagery and bluntness, and the way it's juxtaposing all those things. I wish I had more to say about it, but it's the kind of poem that's more about what kind of feeling and mental picture it creates in the reader, and it's very vivid to me. I think it takes on more meaning when the prompt is considered, since without that it doesn't inherently seem to involve dishonesty.
This does share a lot of the water imagery the first one of this set I read did, and it also has that irregularity/absence in rhyme and meter that make it feel more like song lyrics than a poem to be read.
I'm not sure if "Biden" was supposed to be "bidin'," or if you're making a political statement. I kind of like this one better than the first, as I think it has more of a message than just a mood. I may be reading too much into it, but it seems to have nods to other literature as well. Like the "he dead" makes me think of Heart of Darkness, and the "white lie for the poor guy" sounds a lot like "penny for the old guy." Though I haven't taken the time to think about those sources and decide if their themes bring any extra meaning here. I do feel like this one is kind of generically lamenting. To draw a parallel with a common story plot, it's like having a character die and expecting the reader to be sad about it just because deaths in general are sad, without showing me why this character's death in particular is sad.
I'm not sure if "Biden" was supposed to be "bidin'," or if you're making a political statement. I kind of like this one better than the first, as I think it has more of a message than just a mood. I may be reading too much into it, but it seems to have nods to other literature as well. Like the "he dead" makes me think of Heart of Darkness, and the "white lie for the poor guy" sounds a lot like "penny for the old guy." Though I haven't taken the time to think about those sources and decide if their themes bring any extra meaning here. I do feel like this one is kind of generically lamenting. To draw a parallel with a common story plot, it's like having a character die and expecting the reader to be sad about it just because deaths in general are sad, without showing me why this character's death in particular is sad.
An appeal to moderation, it would seem. This is pretty flawless in meter. There are only a couple words that are even slightly forced into the stress pattern, and even then, in ways that still don't feel unnatural, so I didn't hit any speed bumps.
I'm not very familiar with the poetic form of a ballad, though if I'm remembering right, it's not one that's very strictly defined. I haven't looked it up in some time. If so, you've self-imposed a tougher set of rules than you had to follow, which makes it more impressive. I usually encounter the "ballade" spelling in instrumental contexts, especially French ones, but that's not important.
I really liked this one.
I'm not very familiar with the poetic form of a ballad, though if I'm remembering right, it's not one that's very strictly defined. I haven't looked it up in some time. If so, you've self-imposed a tougher set of rules than you had to follow, which makes it more impressive. I usually encounter the "ballade" spelling in instrumental contexts, especially French ones, but that's not important.
I really liked this one.
I suspect this will end up being by the same person who wrote "grind," and I have pretty much the same things to say about it. Nice, short, punchy, though I understand the visual formatting more in this one.
There are two things that bug me about it. One, the damage the narrator is suffering is all physical, whereas I think it's supposed to be metaphorical for mental/emotional issues. It might be clearer if you explicitly had some use of those less tangible things. Two, and maybe this is meant to have the poem be more generally applicable, but it might have cemented things to see some sort of reaction from those family members who are being lied to. Do they care? Are they oblivious, concerned, happy? Real people will get different ones of those, so maybe you just wanted it to cover all of them, though calling them "loved" ones does trim down the possibilities some, and I think it'd have more impact to what that "loved" means to both sides and how it affects what they do.
There are two things that bug me about it. One, the damage the narrator is suffering is all physical, whereas I think it's supposed to be metaphorical for mental/emotional issues. It might be clearer if you explicitly had some use of those less tangible things. Two, and maybe this is meant to have the poem be more generally applicable, but it might have cemented things to see some sort of reaction from those family members who are being lied to. Do they care? Are they oblivious, concerned, happy? Real people will get different ones of those, so maybe you just wanted it to cover all of them, though calling them "loved" ones does trim down the possibilities some, and I think it'd have more impact to what that "loved" means to both sides and how it affects what they do.
And the last one in the series I've read.
Much the same, more seemingly song lyrics. This one has more time to play with its imagery, again tying in the ocean prominently, but it has the same issue of not being specific enough to get me engaged with these characters. I feel bad in general for someone going through the pain they are, but I don't know enough about their unique pain to care any more than that for them. It's the kind of thing that'll resonate with you if it happens to match your own situation really well, but that can be hit or miss.
Much the same, more seemingly song lyrics. This one has more time to play with its imagery, again tying in the ocean prominently, but it has the same issue of not being specific enough to get me engaged with these characters. I feel bad in general for someone going through the pain they are, but I don't know enough about their unique pain to care any more than that for them. It's the kind of thing that'll resonate with you if it happens to match your own situation really well, but that can be hit or miss.
Hm, I wonder if there's some wordplay involving fir/fur to be ironic that he's dying of cold while sounding like he's under something warm.
This feels similar to "grind" and "i'm fine," though not enough to make me very sure it's the same author. It shares a fatalistic mood and blunt, vivid images. I could equally take this as someone literally dying in the woods or someone consumed by stress around Christmas, if I take it in isolation. For that matter, I could even see it being someone who's generally in bad shape, but means the last line in earnest, because they enjoy Christmas and take comfort in it. Though with the prompt, I tend to think it's the stress one.
This feels similar to "grind" and "i'm fine," though not enough to make me very sure it's the same author. It shares a fatalistic mood and blunt, vivid images. I could equally take this as someone literally dying in the woods or someone consumed by stress around Christmas, if I take it in isolation. For that matter, I could even see it being someone who's generally in bad shape, but means the last line in earnest, because they enjoy Christmas and take comfort in it. Though with the prompt, I tend to think it's the stress one.
I'm guessing that the way the stanzas shorten at the end is symbolic, but I'm not entirely sure how. Like those number-titled ones, this has a weaker sense of rhythm, and the rhymes get pretty questionable, but it feels less songlike than those, and it's harder to put my finger on why. The effect is that it feels less justified to me in having those strained rhymes.
I think the ending is the weakest part, because until then, it's easier to keep up with what the poem means, but at the end, I don't understand it anymore. Why "thirds"? Just because you needed something to rhyme with "words," or am I supposed to infer something from there being three pieces? Overall, there's just a sense of things going wrong with this character, but nothing specific enough to really get me on board with what it is.
I think the ending is the weakest part, because until then, it's easier to keep up with what the poem means, but at the end, I don't understand it anymore. Why "thirds"? Just because you needed something to rhyme with "words," or am I supposed to infer something from there being three pieces? Overall, there's just a sense of things going wrong with this character, but nothing specific enough to really get me on board with what it is.
The mood of this just hits perfectly. I like it better without considering the prompt, as it feels more heartfelt that way. I'm not sure how deception comes into it. He's not lying about breaking the wheelbarrow, and he hasn't offered up an explanation for how he broke it that might be untruthful. Just the "glazed with water," but I don't even know what that means that would lead to an explanation of how it broke.
This is so far above my pay grade that I can't even explain why it works, but again, taken without the prompt, it suggests so much about the setting and the relationship of the characters without ever really talking about either. It accomplishes a whole lot more than the words say.
This is so far above my pay grade that I can't even explain why it works, but again, taken without the prompt, it suggests so much about the setting and the relationship of the characters without ever really talking about either. It accomplishes a whole lot more than the words say.
The idea here is effective, but the message is far from original, and... well, I don't want to demean this entry, because I don't think it's dumb at all, but I'm going to liken it to a dumb joke. Once you've heard it, you find it amusing the one time, but then it's lost its effectiveness, and you're not going to enjoy it on repeated tellings. It's really only going to have that power once. It's also the kind of thing that probably didn't take more than a few seconds to think up, which doesn't make it bad, but does mean it doesn't stand up as well to ones that succeeded while obviously taking an impressive effort.
Interesting that >>regidar found this to be a pony poem. I can see things in there that could be taken that way, but I didn't notice until I saw his comment, and I don't think they have to be taken that way.
I take it as someone being told their loved one has died after being told they were doing okay. Maybe the cloud and frequent flier could suggest a pegasus, but I just thought they might have meant the person had been injured in a plane crash. The frequent flier could even just be saying the person liked to travel, or a meager attempt at listing the person's accomplishments, though I wouldn't know what significance the cloud had then.
Overall, nice economical use of words to create a clear mental picture. Again, though, what a lot of these short poems do is try to get you to care about death in general, which isn't hard to do, without actually giving you enough of a picture of the characters and their situation to make you care about them specifically. The white lie does add a touch of uniqueness to the story, but I still don't know the characters.
I take it as someone being told their loved one has died after being told they were doing okay. Maybe the cloud and frequent flier could suggest a pegasus, but I just thought they might have meant the person had been injured in a plane crash. The frequent flier could even just be saying the person liked to travel, or a meager attempt at listing the person's accomplishments, though I wouldn't know what significance the cloud had then.
Overall, nice economical use of words to create a clear mental picture. Again, though, what a lot of these short poems do is try to get you to care about death in general, which isn't hard to do, without actually giving you enough of a picture of the characters and their situation to make you care about them specifically. The white lie does add a touch of uniqueness to the story, but I still don't know the characters.
>>Pascoite:
One of the ways it works with the deception part of the prompt is that it's a sort of mash-up of two poems by William Carlos Willliams: "The Red Wheelbarrow" and "This is Just to Say"... :)
Mike
One of the ways it works with the deception part of the prompt is that it's a sort of mash-up of two poems by William Carlos Willliams: "The Red Wheelbarrow" and "This is Just to Say"... :)
Mike
I'll agree with >>Pascoite:
About how a little more work could make the storyline clearer, but, yeah, this is a nice idea.
Mike
About how a little more work could make the storyline clearer, but, yeah, this is a nice idea.
Mike
>>Baal Bunny
Oh, hm. I'd read that second one long ago and completely forgotten about it.
I don't know how I feel about this now. There's some art in putting the parts together and making it work, but I don't want to give someone too much credit for things they didn't write. It's like giving Danger Mouse credit for Beatles songs because they made the Grey Album.
Oh, hm. I'd read that second one long ago and completely forgotten about it.
I don't know how I feel about this now. There's some art in putting the parts together and making it work, but I don't want to give someone too much credit for things they didn't write. It's like giving Danger Mouse credit for Beatles songs because they made the Grey Album.
As I set out to rhyme-review
I'll first report my overview.
I find here under lyric dressing
So many that are just... depressing.
You'll pardon me if I don't choose
To drink deep of these sour brews.
While I don't seek to mock their parts,
I'll counterpoint, to lighten hearts.
I'll first report my overview.
I find here under lyric dressing
So many that are just... depressing.
You'll pardon me if I don't choose
To drink deep of these sour brews.
While I don't seek to mock their parts,
I'll counterpoint, to lighten hearts.
Once an awful metaphor
Rose out in coils from my core
It bit me deep where I was sore
That rotten, tarry metaphor!
Rose out in coils from my core
It bit me deep where I was sore
That rotten, tarry metaphor!
Another worm from out the grass
Is threatening to strike my ass.
"How raw the world will be! How trite
Our efforts, faced by parasite!"
We placed it all into a can,
The sad vile history of man
And wrapped it up with plumber's tape
Too low for angel, high for ape.
Is threatening to strike my ass.
"How raw the world will be! How trite
Our efforts, faced by parasite!"
We placed it all into a can,
The sad vile history of man
And wrapped it up with plumber's tape
Too low for angel, high for ape.
From evolution's
Wretched start
To humanity's
Last deadly fart
We savor bitterly
The gaffe
As earth just splits
So it can laugh.
Wretched start
To humanity's
Last deadly fart
We savor bitterly
The gaffe
As earth just splits
So it can laugh.
Things can never get so bad
That you can't worsen them, my lad.
Just coat yourself in spit and glue
And give a thumb's up for adieu.
That you can't worsen them, my lad.
Just coat yourself in spit and glue
And give a thumb's up for adieu.
We rise up from the sea
Unsure of what we're trying to be
We try to change our chemistry
Don't close your eyes or you might see
A wet dream, a burst of steam,
A laugh, alas, life sure is a gas!
Unsure of what we're trying to be
We try to change our chemistry
Don't close your eyes or you might see
A wet dream, a burst of steam,
A laugh, alas, life sure is a gas!
I hear what you said
now run down to the home
depot
and purchase the chromium
bolt
and use the crescent
wrench
things fall apart
and the center isn't steady
but we can't lose
any more
icons
now run down to the home
depot
and purchase the chromium
bolt
and use the crescent
wrench
things fall apart
and the center isn't steady
but we can't lose
any more
icons
White was the screen
Onto which was typed
The symbols that filled the void,
Letters dark as
Sable, sable, sable...
Done!
Onto which was typed
The symbols that filled the void,
Letters dark as
Sable, sable, sable...
Done!
blend:
like wheels in an abattoir
crushing the beans to powder
falling like our hopes
into the hopper
fill:
the filter like white shroud
mound of aromatic
grounds
brew:
steam, hot water flows
carrying rich brown crema
into the pot
like wheels in an abattoir
crushing the beans to powder
falling like our hopes
into the hopper
fill:
the filter like white shroud
mound of aromatic
grounds
brew:
steam, hot water flows
carrying rich brown crema
into the pot
and everything is all right now
as caffeine enters your blood
Following the scattered trail
cloven hoofprints lead the way
to the red sleigh
under the white curtains
of the storm
little hands
child hands
stick out from the huge sack
as darkness falls
and the tall goat form
with long red tongue
takes up the reins
Krampus has made a good haul
Yay, no brats this Xmas!
cloven hoofprints lead the way
to the red sleigh
under the white curtains
of the storm
little hands
child hands
stick out from the huge sack
as darkness falls
and the tall goat form
with long red tongue
takes up the reins
Krampus has made a good haul
Yay, no brats this Xmas!
Of meat and blood, we've had a rain
Until we reel with addled pate,
And rub our brows to ease eyestrain,
From gore and strife we feel distrait
And push away the laden plate
With dark emotions stylized
And give a grin to doom deflate;
By repetitions immunized.
Until we reel with addled pate,
And rub our brows to ease eyestrain,
From gore and strife we feel distrait
And push away the laden plate
With dark emotions stylized
And give a grin to doom deflate;
By repetitions immunized.
>>Pascoite
>>GroaningGreyAgony
Thanks, folks:
And congrats to the other medalists and everybody who participated. I'm finding it more difficult to comment on the poems than I ever did on the stories, actually. My general tastes in written work are demonstrably off--look at the recent Opposite Sides contest where my judgement was the complete opposite of the other two voters--so I keep digging in vain for something possibly useful to say...
As for this one, here's what Wikipedia has to say about the ballade form. Essentially, it's three eight-line stanzas followed by a four-line envoi, all of which have to end with the same line. It's something that apparently works better in French--François Villon did a lot of them 500 years ago, for instance, but nobody since Chaucer has done much with it in English. It's always struck me as a form good for venting peevishly, though, so I did that here.
Mike
>>GroaningGreyAgony
Thanks, folks:
And congrats to the other medalists and everybody who participated. I'm finding it more difficult to comment on the poems than I ever did on the stories, actually. My general tastes in written work are demonstrably off--look at the recent Opposite Sides contest where my judgement was the complete opposite of the other two voters--so I keep digging in vain for something possibly useful to say...
As for this one, here's what Wikipedia has to say about the ballade form. Essentially, it's three eight-line stanzas followed by a four-line envoi, all of which have to end with the same line. It's something that apparently works better in French--François Villon did a lot of them 500 years ago, for instance, but nobody since Chaucer has done much with it in English. It's always struck me as a form good for venting peevishly, though, so I did that here.
Mike
>>Dubs_Rewatcher, >>Baal Bunny, >>Miller Minus, >>Pascoite, >>LoftyWithers
this is just to say
thanks for the silver
medal
which you had to give out
anyway
but which I got by a frivolous
parody
please forgive me
this is just to say
thanks for the silver
medal
which you had to give out
anyway
but which I got by a frivolous
parody
please forgive me