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grind
grind:
like gears in a machine
or bodies in a bed
or bones beneath your hands
rend:
friendship
love
flesh
all between your teeth
you go outside and smile
like gears in a machine
or bodies in a bed
or bones beneath your hands
rend:
friendship
love
flesh
all between your teeth
you go outside and smile
and nothing is wrong
as red drips from your teeth
This is very tight, clear, concise. Like a fair few of the other entries here, it shares a deliberate concrete structure that is incredibly evocative; it’s my weak point, however, so I am biased in saying so.
This poem sets out to do what it wants to do very well; I can feel some of these lines—and there’s enough mystique in them to capture thought after reading. It does hinge on a very deliberate emotion, and that could be a turnoff to those not ready for the intensity. But whatever; great poem.
This poem sets out to do what it wants to do very well; I can feel some of these lines—and there’s enough mystique in them to capture thought after reading. It does hinge on a very deliberate emotion, and that could be a turnoff to those not ready for the intensity. But whatever; great poem.
If I'm supposed to get something from the spatial arrangement, it's lost on me, but I like the imagery and bluntness, and the way it's juxtaposing all those things. I wish I had more to say about it, but it's the kind of poem that's more about what kind of feeling and mental picture it creates in the reader, and it's very vivid to me. I think it takes on more meaning when the prompt is considered, since without that it doesn't inherently seem to involve dishonesty.
blend:
like wheels in an abattoir
crushing the beans to powder
falling like our hopes
into the hopper
fill:
the filter like white shroud
mound of aromatic
grounds
brew:
steam, hot water flows
carrying rich brown crema
into the pot
like wheels in an abattoir
crushing the beans to powder
falling like our hopes
into the hopper
fill:
the filter like white shroud
mound of aromatic
grounds
brew:
steam, hot water flows
carrying rich brown crema
into the pot
and everything is all right now
as caffeine enters your blood