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Ballade of the Gray and White Matter
Within my deepest, darkest brain
It stirs, a sluggish wad of hate,
Demanding, shrieking, loud, insane:
"Our skin's the thing that makes us great!
Ideas, poems we create,
Cuisine and music rightly prized
Depend upon this single trait!
Behold, the truly civilized!"
Cathedrals, mosques, and temples stain
The earth with blood to mitigate
Pollution's threat: "We must refrain
From mixing hues! To hesitate
Invites destruction! No debate!
And once the threat's been exorcised,
Our race will rise, rejuvenate!
Behold, the truly civilized!"
It stabs and gouges, wracks with pain,
Destroys the quiet mental state
I've sought to stringently maintain
Until I'd like to abdicate.
"You traitor!" screams my addled pate.
"Disgusting how you've temporized!
We must forbid and legislate!
Behold, the truly civilized!"
O slab of meat, you desecrate!
It's those who've talked and compromised
Who turn the world and bear its weight!
Behold, the truly civilized!
It stirs, a sluggish wad of hate,
Demanding, shrieking, loud, insane:
"Our skin's the thing that makes us great!
Ideas, poems we create,
Cuisine and music rightly prized
Depend upon this single trait!
Behold, the truly civilized!"
Cathedrals, mosques, and temples stain
The earth with blood to mitigate
Pollution's threat: "We must refrain
From mixing hues! To hesitate
Invites destruction! No debate!
And once the threat's been exorcised,
Our race will rise, rejuvenate!
Behold, the truly civilized!"
It stabs and gouges, wracks with pain,
Destroys the quiet mental state
I've sought to stringently maintain
Until I'd like to abdicate.
"You traitor!" screams my addled pate.
"Disgusting how you've temporized!
We must forbid and legislate!
Behold, the truly civilized!"
O slab of meat, you desecrate!
It's those who've talked and compromised
Who turn the world and bear its weight!
Behold, the truly civilized!
An appeal to moderation, it would seem. This is pretty flawless in meter. There are only a couple words that are even slightly forced into the stress pattern, and even then, in ways that still don't feel unnatural, so I didn't hit any speed bumps.
I'm not very familiar with the poetic form of a ballad, though if I'm remembering right, it's not one that's very strictly defined. I haven't looked it up in some time. If so, you've self-imposed a tougher set of rules than you had to follow, which makes it more impressive. I usually encounter the "ballade" spelling in instrumental contexts, especially French ones, but that's not important.
I really liked this one.
I'm not very familiar with the poetic form of a ballad, though if I'm remembering right, it's not one that's very strictly defined. I haven't looked it up in some time. If so, you've self-imposed a tougher set of rules than you had to follow, which makes it more impressive. I usually encounter the "ballade" spelling in instrumental contexts, especially French ones, but that's not important.
I really liked this one.
Of meat and blood, we've had a rain
Until we reel with addled pate,
And rub our brows to ease eyestrain,
From gore and strife we feel distrait
And push away the laden plate
With dark emotions stylized
And give a grin to doom deflate;
By repetitions immunized.
Until we reel with addled pate,
And rub our brows to ease eyestrain,
From gore and strife we feel distrait
And push away the laden plate
With dark emotions stylized
And give a grin to doom deflate;
By repetitions immunized.
>>Pascoite
>>GroaningGreyAgony
Thanks, folks:
And congrats to the other medalists and everybody who participated. I'm finding it more difficult to comment on the poems than I ever did on the stories, actually. My general tastes in written work are demonstrably off--look at the recent Opposite Sides contest where my judgement was the complete opposite of the other two voters--so I keep digging in vain for something possibly useful to say...
As for this one, here's what Wikipedia has to say about the ballade form. Essentially, it's three eight-line stanzas followed by a four-line envoi, all of which have to end with the same line. It's something that apparently works better in French--François Villon did a lot of them 500 years ago, for instance, but nobody since Chaucer has done much with it in English. It's always struck me as a form good for venting peevishly, though, so I did that here.
Mike
>>GroaningGreyAgony
Thanks, folks:
And congrats to the other medalists and everybody who participated. I'm finding it more difficult to comment on the poems than I ever did on the stories, actually. My general tastes in written work are demonstrably off--look at the recent Opposite Sides contest where my judgement was the complete opposite of the other two voters--so I keep digging in vain for something possibly useful to say...
As for this one, here's what Wikipedia has to say about the ballade form. Essentially, it's three eight-line stanzas followed by a four-line envoi, all of which have to end with the same line. It's something that apparently works better in French--François Villon did a lot of them 500 years ago, for instance, but nobody since Chaucer has done much with it in English. It's always struck me as a form good for venting peevishly, though, so I did that here.
Mike